I don't proofread my posts before I publish them... cause I keep my thoughts au naturale.

Monday, August 29, 2011

One Week Post Mirena Update

***Warning: the following contains TMI... you've been warned!!***

All I can say is... thank you, Jesus and RN at Planned Parenthood for getting this demon spawn tool of Satan out of me!!!

I had my Mirena removed August 23rd.  I wasn't sure what to expect, but hoped for immediate relief as some people had indicated was possible.  Well, the relief was not immediate, but having it removed took two seconds and was completely painless!  I felt a wee bit dizzy at first, but that went away quickly.

Within a day I started being relieved of the bloating.  I peed like 82 times an hour, but hey, it's worth it to feel better, right?  Then, I started feeling happy again... it was as if a fog lifted!  I had more energy, I was in a better mood, I wanted to end world hunger and make world peace...

And I still feel great!  I'm hoping to get greater by the day, and I will continue to update as I notice more progress.  I've also lost 2 lbs so far and don't feel like eating 24/7! 

***Second warning about TMI***

I'm doing my own research and contemplations in my head.  I was previously a heavy bleeder during AF time.  Well, as most of you know, when you are on the Mirena, your AF ceases to be or is super minimal.  I have often thought that was unhealthy, but hey, I don't have a medical degree!  Well, it just seems to me that if your bleeding was heavy and you now don't bleed anymore, no wonder you bloat!  And you know those PMS symptoms that you used to get?  Where do they go?  I will tell you where they go- nowhere!  They sit there... 24/7/365!!  Of course you are always hungry, cause your body is in PMS mode... same with breaking out, bloating, irritability... bang!  So, in a nutshell, I'm saying... embrace the periods!  I could go into detail about the bleeding I've experienced since getting my Mirena out a week ago... but I won't... cause I haven't found one person that wasn't grossed out by it, lol.

Monday, August 15, 2011

You've Lost That Loving Feeling

Okay, so this is nothing new.  Everyone knows about this, but today I am choosing to bring it up because it is on my mind...

You know when you first start developing feelings for someone?  You're giddy, your pulse raises when you first see them, their kiss gives you butterflies, you think about them all the time when they are not around... well, why can't that last forever?  Why can't we be lovey dovey for life?  If you're sappy like me, then you see old people walking and holding hands and think, "I'd love for that to be me some day."  I think that is why so many people get divorced these days.  Well, this and the fact that people don't like putting up with anyone else's $hit.  I'd like to believe that every couple has these aforementioned feelings at some point in their relationship, if not, that is really sad.  But, why do these feelings go away?  Why can't we still get butterflies and racing pulses and googly eyes?  Is it because once people get comfortable with each other, they no longer feel the need to try? 

You know what gets me the most about that old couple holding hands?  They have been holding hands their whole lives!  I don't think a couple gets to be 80 and all of the sudden decides to start holding hands.  No, they have always realized what the other one means to them and they hold on to them because they never want to let them go.  Well, dammit, I wanna be holding hands with someone!  I wanna be snuggling with someone instead of arguing with them over who cleans more, why we shouldn't keep the cats, who wastes more money, why one of us used to be an alcoholic... and so on and so forth.  I want to sit on the same side of the couch instead of polar opposite and co-existing through life.  I want to spoon in bed instead of facing the opposite direction and lying on the edge of the bed.

What does it mean when people lose that loving feeling?  Does that mean they are no longer in love?  Is it a feeling that you can get back?  I'm not saying I'm perfect, far from it!  I know some of the arguments are my fault too.  And I know that sometimes the lack of affection can be from me being mad and withholding it.  But, I refuse to believe that a relationship has to be boring and vanilla.  I refuse to spend another decade of my life drifting through with a roommate.  I don't know what to do to get it back or if I should just jump ship now and enjoy being free.  Why can't things just be easy??

Thursday, August 11, 2011

Crazy Things Parents Text by Stephen and Wayne Miltz book review

OMGosh, guys, this book can be summed up in two words... "hi" and "larious!"  Apparently their is a wesbite created by Stephen and Wayne Miltz that is CrazyThingsParentsText.com.

The book is pretty much self explanatory.  It's a collection of texts between a child and their parent.  It is organized into categories with texts that have similar themes.  Well, within 2 pages, I was LOL'ing.  Literally.  I laughed out loud and my daughter asked me what was funny and I explained it to her.  Since she was 5, she didn't get it, but man, it was funny.  Now I find myself using every free 5 minutes I have to keep forging ahead because it is so funny.  Of course, being a child of parents who don't know how to text (and Dad refuses because it costs X amount of pennies each text) I don't know how a conversation via text would go with my parents.  I did MMS a picture of an open wound to my dad when I was getting stitches in the ER.  I got a phone call from my mom 2 hours later asking what it was.

Also, some of the content between parent and child in this book is quite... blunt and things that I would be super afeared to talk to my parents about.

But, long story short... if you have a sense of humor at any age, you will get a huge kick out of this book!!!

MOTR Grade:  A+

This title will be available for purchase September 1, 2011.

Wednesday, August 10, 2011

Cars Need Gas and Being Wrong Sucks

So let me preface this by saying since getting my driver's license at the age of 16, I have never run out of gas- EVER.  So, when David is constantly mentioning how we need to get gas, how are we gonna have enough gas to get here, how will we have enough gas to get there, we need gas for the week, blah blah blah gas blah gas blah gas gas gas blah blah blah.  Finally yesterday I flipped out and told him I never wanted to hear the word gas come out of his mouth again.  It's like that's all he ever talks about.  I don't know if he was doused in gasoline and set on fire as a child, but seriously, this dude is obsessed with gas.  (And yes, he thinks flatulence is funny too, ugh!!)

Well, fast forward 24 hours.  I knew the car had been telling me low fuel and I had to take the laundry to the laundromat.  I figured I'd get gas when I went back to put it in the dryer because I live a block away from 2 gas stations and the laundromat.  So, I put the laundry in and head back.  Then I go put it in the dryer and figure I will get gas when I go pick the clothes up.  Well, as chance would have it, David decides to go back with me to get the laundry (I think it's because I told him the chick working there was really pretty).  We go through the bank drive thru on the other end of the parking lot to deposit some cash and I start pulling out of the parking lot and he said something about gas and I said, oops, let's get it after we pick up the clothes.  So we park the car, get the clothes, get back in the car aaaaaaaaand... it won't start.  It blinks low fuel.  He looks at me and I want to die.  I knew, from that second forward that I will NEVER hear the end of it.  I'm wondering if we should just break up now because I don't know if I can live like this.

Luckily, it was only like half a block to the gas station.  It was a breezy and beautiful 75 degrees out.  We walked over, bought a one gallon thingamabobber (cause apparently this gas station doesn't believe in good will towards man.)  Bought the gallon, put it in the car, then went and filled the gas tank.

All I can say is... man, does it totally suck to be wrong... but I guess having it happen once in my life is okay.

Tuesday, August 9, 2011

Memories... Light the Corners of My Mind: Roasted Carpet Edition

I was babysitting this girl the other day and she asked me if I knew that carpet was made out of plastic.  I'm not sure if I know or don't know this, but it kind of made sense when I thought about this thing that once happened...

I was sitting on my bed in my room looking at this shoebox full of letters that I had kept from an old boyfriend and an old flame.  Well, I was thinking about how big of jerks they were and how I hated all men and though they needed to burn in heck, so I decided I needed to think of a ritualistic way to dispose of these notes.  Of course, clearly I was not thinking too rationally, because I thought the best idea was to set them on fire... in a shoebox... in the middle of my bed...

I think you see where this is going.  So aflame they went!  And as the fire blazed, I threw the box onto the floor.  Smoke filled the room, my dad banged on the door and wiggled the handle, put the fire out and voila!- melted carpet and a hole in the middle of the floor.  Well, Dad was irate, and I was clearly a moron, for not thinking that it was a bad idea... oh, hindsight, how you elude us all!!

Monday, August 8, 2011

Apparently Sunday Was Evil B@#%* Day!!

Man, what a horrible God's day it was yesterday! 

Here's the skinny...

So I had this "friend" that I had started babysitting for overnights on the weekend.  She started as a stranger and then we became friends.  Well, I needed extra money, so I offered to babysit M-F for her.  Since she didn't want to get up early and bring them to me (she lived about 20 min away) it was decided that they would stay the nights M-Th... which somehow turned into Sun-Th and sometimes Friday.  Well, she would come up Wednesday nights, conveniently after her kids were asleep.  She got off work at 5 and would somehow come up with excuses not to show up for a couple hours.  She was only paying me $150 a week, which turned into me only getting paid every other week, but her often saying she wasn't sure if she would end up having it.

So, apparently today she somehow decided it wasn't important to ask me what time it was okay to bring the kids up.  She texts me to inform me that she is on her way and has groceries.  I had spent the last 2 hours trying to come up with a way for my kids' dad to see them.  I tell her that we are on the road and she throws a fit.  She wanted to bring the kids ASAP.  I mentioned that it would be nice for David and I to get 5 minutes of alone time since we hadn't had any alone time for like 2 months!  Apparently this was totally wrong of me to say because she kinda flipped.  And when I asked how late she was planning to stay she said she needed to go home early and get to sleep.  Seriously??

So, me being super passive with my "friends" I don't say anything, but David decides to text her and let her have it.  She then sends me an angry text saying she is gonna have to figure something else out and I ask her if she means tonight or forever... this was her response:

"Forever.  That's bull.  I don't appreciate it... I pay you 300 dollars every two weeks and bring food up everytime I come up and everything.  I'm sorry that I had something I need to do so that I have money.  I didn't get the check I was supposed to get in the mail, so I have no money right now.  I wasn't planning on doing ANYTHING tonight when I went home but eat and go to bed because I was planning on getting up early for work.  I wasn't told anything about you wanting me to stay later for karaoke or anything, if it's not going to work, I guess I'll figure something else out.  Idk what... But something."

A) The only "groceries" she brings is when she occasionally brings milk, which is mostly consumed by her 18 month old.  But that is like pulling teeth because she says she knows her daughter isn't the only one to drink it.

B) I HAD mentioned going to karaoke to her several times today and yesterday.

Needless to say I don't expect to get paid Friday for last week.  Needless to say I won't have enough to pay rent.  UGH!


As some of you may know from following my FB, Tweets or blogs, I've been feeling really icky lately and have not wanted to be out in public in over a month.  So I finally muster up the courage to go to the bar down the street because a pal does karaoke and it was his birthday.  Barely get a foot in the door before the bartender loudly proclaims that David isn't technically supposed to be in the bar because he haggled about his tab over a month ago.  WTFrench??   It made me feel trashy and I was mortified.  I know this was total pansy of me, but I hugged the friend and his girlfriend and quickly exited out the side door before I started bawling.  I don't recall ever being embarrassed like that in public, but maybe I am burying it in the darkest corners of my mind.

I don't know.  I'm so sick of people who don't know how to treat other human beings... Have we all forgotten the golden rule?  ARGH!!!

Sunday, August 7, 2011


If you are a guy, you may want to not read this... or if you grew up referring to things as "monthly visitors" and blush at the though of contraceptives, this is not for you either.

So, when the Mirena came on the market, the idea of a birth control that lasted 5 years sounded like a miracle!  No more pills, patches, shots, etc. that you have to remember because one memory lapse could equal a bundle of joy in the making!  But, the idea that for 5 years you don't have to remember anything sounds fantastic!

Or does it?

I'm not saying that these can't be related to other things.  I'm not a doctor.  I haven't run tests on myself, but I feel like since it's my body, I just KNOW.  I was very wary of getting on Mirena because I had several friends and acquaintances tell me they didn't like it and had it removed or were thinking of having it removed.  But, after talking to the nurses, and being assured that it had very little side effects, I decided to take the plunge.  I also shared my concerns with them about how I hate adding extra hormones to my body because I have enough emotional problems as it is with being bipolar.

But ever since I had it put in, I've had these nagging suspicions and it just hasn't felt right.  I'm not saying it's unnatural... more like having a little piece of Satan embedded into your uterus... just saying.  Since getting on the Mirena, I have gained 15 lbs, felt bloated ALL THE TIME, been more depressed, crabby, etc.  I asked a couple months into having it about the weight gain and was told, oh, it doesn't cause weight gain.  I don't know if these people are just uninformed or have been brainwashed into telling all these women that the Mirena is completely harmless.

Well, I have never felt bloated in my life except when I was pregnant or occasionally during PMS.  I constantly feel like I'm 8 months pregnant!  I'm fatigued 95% of the time, I have no energy, I don't want to be seen in public, I'm already so bloated that the idea of drinking alcohol makes me fear I will explode, I get headaches, I get nauseous, I'm moody... ugh!  Like I said, I don't know if this is all from the Mirena, but from the intense googling I've been doing lately, these are all side effects.  Another big one I've read about is hair loss.  I don't know if this is true for me or not.  I've always had really thick hair and always shed like crazy, so yes, I still shed like crazy, but I don't know if it's anymore than usual.

I made an appt. to have the Mirena removed, but they can't get me in until the 17th.  I can't wait!  I will keep you posted on if it makes a difference or not.  I have read that some people notice an instant change.  I've read that some people go through withdrawal symptoms... but I'm anxious to experience it myself.

I just hope that more people will think about looking at the bad side to Mirena from other sources than what the company prints out or from the people who are getting some kind of kick back from endorsing the product.  I'm going to go back to ortho tri-cyclen.  Heck, I'd rather give birth to 10 children than enduring what I've been going through since I had my Mirena put in in December.  UGH!

Wednesday, August 3, 2011

There Aren't Enough Things in this House for Me to Break!!!

Egads, sometimes things suck!  Sometimes they suck reaaaaaaaal bad.  (Badly?)  There are two things about myself that I take pride in: my kindness to animals and my kindness to children.  That's about it.  For the most part, aside from that, I don't know why I exist sometimes.  So, if someone were to come at me with opposition to either of those things, I wouldn't know what to do!

Well, today I found out what I'd do... I'd lie on the bathroom floor for an hour, bawl my eyes out and puke because of the migraine it gave me!  Let me preface this situation with a bit of back story.  As you know from following my blog, I have been babysitting for several months now just for a bit o' extra cash while I can't sub.  Anyway, it has been such a rewarding experience!  I have met some great kids and met some great parents as well!  Sure, I've had a couple bad apples here and there, but for the most part it has been a very positive thing in mine and my children's lives.  And one of the plus sides is that I've made two really good friends (maybe I'm making the assumption that they are friends, though, who knows) and it really boosts my deflated ego when parents tell me there kids ask to come back or when a parent comes to pick up their child and they don't want to go.  So, it has all been pretty great... until today.

This is what shocked me the most: the parent involved is someone I've known since high school.  We were kinda friends back then and then rekindled our friendship when I moved in January.  I've been to her house, met her kids, I thought things were hunky dory with us.  She and I couldn't be more different personality-wise, but that's the great thing about friends- diversity is somewhat what brings people together.

Well, because her mom was going to be out of state for a week, she asked if I could babysit.  I said yes and told her she didn't have to pay me or she could pay me whatever she wanted.  I didn't really care because her daughter and my daughter could play and it didn't matter to me to have one more kid around.  Well, fast forward to today and she totally threw me for a loop today after picking her daughter up.  I'm all about kids being happy when they are here because childhoods are meant to enjoy- as adults, it is harder to find things to smile about.  Apparently I am wrong and I suck at life.  Not her words, but I'm interpreting it as such.  I felt like she was telling me that I was a horrible person and the things she said made it clear that the way I parent my own children was not her idea of good.  I know she wasn't intentionally trying to hurt me, that's just the way she talks.  She is very straightforward and doesn't sugar coat anything.  Well, I'm very much a wuss and never tell people how I really feel.  Fast forward 20 texts later and I'm lying on the floor in the bathroom with the lights out bawling my eyes out.

I'm not gonna knock on her or put her down cause that's not good for anyone.  Although I disagree with a great many things she said to me, everyone is entitled to their own opinion.  I'm not going to argue.  I'll just chalk it up to another lesson learned and the loss of a friend.

I suck at life.

Tuesday, August 2, 2011

There Are Still Good People in the World!!!

You may often think to yourself when watching the news or looking on the internets that there is nothing good about humanity anymore.  It's a dog eat dog world and everyone is gnawing each other to the bone.  Knock on your neighbor's door to borrow a cup of sugar and they will hold you at gunpoint until the cops come because you are clearly trying to rob them.  We no longer open doors to religious groups because they are all zealots, when really, they believe what they are doing is for the good of man.  I will open the door and give a smile, take their pamplets and let them know I'm a satanist... haha, jk! 

So, although I try to find the good in everyone, it has seemed to become rarer and rarer.  Your best friend may look you in the eye while trying to stab you in the back.  The man you wake up to in the morning may be the man warming someone else's bed at noon.  Where am I going with this you ask- well, quit rushing me, I'm getting there!

The other day I posted an ad on craigslist.  I don't like my kids' mattresses being on the floor.  Sure, it's not a big deal, but I think it's tacky.  I'm poor, I'm the first to admit it.  I posted an ad looking for twin bed frames and said I could only pay like $20 apiece.  Well, the second person to respond told me she had two frames she would just GIVE me.  We emailed back and forth a bit and she asked how old my kids were.  When I got there to pick up the frames (although she offered to deliver them) she had bags of movies, a keyboard, games, etc. to give my kids as well!  She asked if she could save my number for when she unearthed more things.  I said definitely.  Well, she had only been able to dig out one of the bed frames and said she would call me when she unburied the other one.  I decided to give the first one to A as she is older.  After putting it together, she was so excited it was like Christmas.  Well, then L asked where his was and I told him we would have to wait a bit.  Of course this made him cry...

Well, not 5 minutes later I received a call from the lady saying that she felt so bad that my son wasn't getting his that she had dug it out, loaded it up and was on her way to bring it to me!!  I was so happy.  I couldn't believe that someone was so nice.  I mean, I know that I would do something like that for a total stranger, but I can't even get most of my friends to do anything nice for me.

All I can say is that I hope karma does something really nice for this lady in the near future, because she definitely deserves it!!!