I don't proofread my posts before I publish them... cause I keep my thoughts au naturale.

Monday, September 17, 2012

"Overwhelmed" is profanity.

whelm verb: to submerge, engulf

overwhelm verb (used with object) 

1. to overcome completely in mind or feeling: overwhelmed by remorse.

2. to load, heap, treat, or address with an overpowering or excessive amount of anything

I have an extreme abhorrence for the word "overwhelmed" but mainly when people try to use it in regards to me.  I had one of the top 5 worst experiences in my life happen about 3 years ago in grad school and a certain pompous meanie face with total social ineptitude had the gall to say that I might be "overwhelmed" with my work load and personal life.  I was livid!  And of course the other aspects of that incident left me wondering about humanity and how on earth people could be so vicious and unfeeling blows my mind.

Well the other day my new therapist used the word "overwhelmed," but in a question as in, "do you feel overwhelmed and is that causing...?"  And of course the answer is no.  I don't feel overwhelmed.  She wasn't saying it in a mean or accusing or negative way, so I won't fault her for that.

Although I think that people may assume I am overwhelmed, whether from my behavior, irritability, throwing things at walls, no, I am not overwhelmed.  I would never take on more than I can handle.  In fact, I thrive on being busy.  Yes, some days I want to just bum it out, but I can't stand the thought of lying in bed all day, sitting around in my pajamas all day, watching tv all day... maybe for the first part of the day I can sit and chill, but that's about it.  My mind begins to flood with the things that I could be doing but I am not.  

I work, but not full time.  I am taking 3 grad classes right now, but I should have been finished two years ago.  I have 3 kids, but they are pretty great kids and I have a wonderful husband who helps me immensely.  Sure I get a bit frustrated when I am inundated with questions and ideas thrown at me in a 30 second period of time.  Sure I get set off by little things time to time, but that has to do with my mental illnesses and not because I am completely overwhelmed.

So if you think I am, I am not.  I am as busy as I want to be.  Life is short and you gotta pack as much of it as you can and right now I think there are many other things in life I could be doing.  

Oh, and I've been having a great physical issue with having a complete lack of energy and my psychiatrist is an idiot (as they all seem to be so far) and she just keeps throwing wacky meds at me to try and help me out.  

But I'm not overwhelmed.

Tuesday, September 11, 2012

My Wedding Day Was Ghetto Fantastic

I like to think of myself as a pretty laid back person.  And I think expensive weddings (or weddings in general) are a big stinkin' waste of money.  A dress you can only wear once?  Flowers that die?  Releasing doves, a 20 person orchestra...?  What is the point?  Isn't the reason people get married because they are in love and want to make that commitment?

Well, that brings me to yesterday.  David has been harassing me to marry him for quite awhile now and although I have a distaste in my mouth when I say the word "marriage" I thought- yeah, why not?  I love him, we have a baby together and I could see myself being fond of him for quite some time.  But neither of us wanted to waste money on a fancy shmancy wedding, let alone expect our parents to pay a dime!  (At least David SAID he didn't want a wedding, but I secretly think he did.)

Come to find out that an awesome, fantastic friend is ordained.  She agreed to marry us, I let David pick the date, we met for lunch yesterday and boom- we were married.  I asked a friend to be a witness and our waitress was the other witness.  We did spend a pretty penny on rings, but David insisted on that and since he is Mr. Moneybags, I could not argue against it.

Per our officiant's suggestion, we stopped at a local Casey's and bought some Miller High Life to toast because apparently it is the "champagne of beers."  I don't drink beer, but I did have some for the toast.

Our moms knew of the date (surprisingly both remembered) and whomever they squealed to knew.  Otherwise I was most stoked about surprising people by putting it on Facebook.  I don't plan to actually tell anyone else, I will let them find out on their own.  Oh, I did tell my kids and my ex-husband who was watching the kids for me.  (The kids have known for awhile.)

And there you have it- I am now the other half... the old ball and chain... an honest woman.  I am sorry to all those who were dying to marry me, but you will have to wait and see if this marriage lasts.  I am kinda hoping it will.  David is a pretty decent fellow and he thinks I'm awesome, which is a pretty good quality in a spouse.

I like to think that my whole wedding was purposefully and wonderfully tacky as opposed to those weddings that are meant to be fancy and are actually trashy because the people are... well, trash.  And I was purposely mocking those people who think that a wedding should cost thousands of dollars out of their parents' pockets... like they don't have better things to do with their money.

I will have a reception sometime in the near future, though, cause everyone knows that is the best part.  But you can be sure it will be wonderfully cheap as well- but maybe not too cheap.

PS An hour after getting married, my car was parked on the street next to my friend's house.  She suggested we park on the less busy side.  Some lady backed into our car and we had to get a police report.  Luckily it's still drivable, but it just added to our exciting day!