I don't proofread my posts before I publish them... cause I keep my thoughts au naturale.

Friday, February 21, 2014

The Space Between

Looks cozy, huh?  (Homage to Ren & Stimpy)
Any Roseanne fans out there?  If you recall, Roseanne and Dan were a little on the... plump size.  Do you know what size bed they had- a double (full is the equivalent now.)  They were perfectly happy in their sardine can and so am I.

I grew up with a queen size bed.  I think I was 3 when I took up residence of it, maybe 4, I don't remember.  I always had stuffed animals and each year I acquired more and more.  I had these theories about monsters getting me in my sleep.  For instance, if everything was covered but my head they wouldn't eat me, because heads are hard for monsters to chew.  Likewise, my theory was that if I was surrounded by stuffed animals the monsters wouldn't see me and would look elsewhere for their midnight snack.  I think that is where my interest in sleeping in a sardine can started.

When I moved out of my parents' house and moved in with my first husband, I took the queen bed with me (not the kick-ass frame, just the mattress/box springs.)  I had cats at the time and a rabbit and I had no problem letting them on the bed.  After a year, we moved to a different house.  A couple months later we started acquiring dogs, along with the few cats I already had, but only two were allowed in the house (we lived out in the country.)

Anyway, more and more dogs started moving into the home, I had my first child and the queen size bed quickly became way too cramped.  We upgraded to a king size, which pretty much meant more room for dogs.  I had one dog that liked to sleep between my legs so if I wanted to roll over at night I had to try to maneuver without disturbing him or I'd get growled at.

As my marriage started to deteriorate, the distance between us on the bed seemed to get bigger and bigger.  The dogs eventually got banished from the bedroom (he hated animals), both my kids started sleeping in between us on the bed, and eventually he chose to stay up all night and crash on the couch in his man cave every night.  That left me in the king size bed with my two kids.

When I left my husband and moved to another town, I let him keep the bed and I took the big TV.  The only beds I had when I moved were two twin mattress sets that my parents gave me for my kids that used to be in my brothers' room.  So when we moved, I pushed the beds together and slept in the middle of my two kids.  It stayed that way until my [now husband] moved in with me.  I had actually sweet talked him into letting me "borrow" his bed from his apartment because he had a futon.  Of course the bed never left and we still have it now and that is what we sleep on.

I love it.  I've never been in that small of a bed every night and I feel secure in my little sardine can.  There is room to cuddle and room to each be on our own sides.  I like knowing that if I move a foot, there's someone there (the kids stopped sleeping in bed with me after I "borrowed" David's full size bed.)

But for the past year, David has been pushing to get a bigger bed.  I keep objecting.  I usually say it is a waste of money, we don't have the room, etc., but really I think it is psychological.  I feel like the farther apart we are in bed, the farther apart we become emotionally.  I also feel a sense of security having that little room.  About a week ago he pushed again for a bigger bed.  I didn't answer and just pretended he didn't ask. 

I guess I just feel like I don't want there to be any space between us.  Whether it stems from sleeping in a sardine can all my life or whether it reminds me of the downfall of my last marriage, that gap that would be there in a larger bed seems miles apart, even though it is mere inches.

Monday, February 17, 2014

Bye, bye Bottle!

With A & L, they both took pacifiers from day one.  I have come to realize how much of a blessing that actually was, despite it taking awhile for me to wean them off (A was 2 and L was 3).  However, they were beasts to get to sleep.  You had to lie with A until she fell asleep and you pretty much had to walk with L until he fell asleep.  Then in the middle of the night L woke up anytime his pacifier fell out... it was ridiculous.

Well, when H refused a pacifier since birth, he started going to sleep with warm milk in his bottle.  For the first time I was able to put a kid in bed with a bottle and they'd go to sleep!  It was a miracle.  Yes, yes, I know, you aren't supposed to put them to bed with a bottle, but it was milk, not juice, and... mind your business, lol!  BTW, his teeth are perfect. 

So it has made breaking him of his bottle quite difficult since there's not really another way to get him to sleep.  A & L were off their bottles by one, which is the recommendation.  H is now 20 months, so I felt a little like a failure in that department.  His pediatrician said that sometimes you have to pick your battles and his teeth and gums looked great.  I've tried sippy cups with warm milk- he hates sippy cups.  He only drinks water and juice out of one of those rubber straw cups.

Nuby Super Spout Easy Style Gripper
Then a bit of hope- a friend and I were talking about the bottle issue and she recently broke her one year old of her bottle by using one of the Nuby cups that has a rubbery spout, but it is not stiff, it is more flexible, but it is the second stage after sippy cup.  I immediately went out and bought three.  The first day when I put warm milk on it he cried and wouldn't take it.  Every time he said "ba," I gave him that cup.  So the first day was rough.  He would drink sips here and there, but really doesn't want it.  For bedtime he fell asleep on my lap fussing.  I felt bad, but usually cold turkey works and I was not going to give in.  The second day was a little better.  I would have to set the cup near him because he wouldn't take it, but eventually he would go pick it up and drink about half. 

Fast forward a week and he's completely off the bottle!  He chugs his Nuby cup and falls asleep.  He has been falling asleep in his infant-to-toddler bouncer with the cup, so when we lie him in bed he just rolls over and stays asleep.

I am so grateful to that friend for putting the idea out there for me.  I don't know why I hadn't thought of it before, when him being my third child, but there you have it.  Yes, he still likes his warm milk, but it's not a bottle.  And it is a stage above sippy cup, which is above bottle, so I will take it!  I think with age will come going to sleep without the warm milk, but I'm not as worried about that.

Now with Baby A, I am trying to get him interested in the pacifier so when he falls asleep it is either with the bottle, breast or pacifier, but we wills see how that goes.  I was also using Nuk pacifiers, but received some MAM pacifiers to review, and he seems to like those better. 

I'm not saying this is guaranteed to work with every child being weaned, but it worked for H!  Hooray!!

Monday, February 10, 2014

My VBAC Experience

Baby A at one day old.
If you follow my blog (which most of you don't- but should) you might recall that I had a CBAV with H because he was breech.  I was devastated because I had the first two vaginally and the recovery was quick and easy.  I did NOT want to deal with a cesarean and the healing process.  But, I had no choice.  Well, when I found out I was pregnant with baby #4, all I could think about was how much I did not want to go through a c-section again!  The hospital where I had my first 3 is not allowed to perform VBACs because you have to have an anesthesiologist in the hospital 24/7 and smaller hospitals only have them on call during off duty hours.  So, I talked to my ob/gyn about my options and he told me that his hospital and one 90 miles away had a "share care" option where you could see doctors at one or the other and then delivery at whichever.  I felt intimidated as I had never been to the bigger one and I was used to MY doctor.

I had to go at 20 weeks and then 36 weeks and up to the bigger hospital.  I was randomly assigned a doctor because I had no idea who any of them were.  Boy, did I get lucky!!  The doctor I was assigned was one out of like 10 who I could have gotten.  Apparently this one was the best and everyone who worked there let me know it.  She was so invested in my pregnancy and making sure that the VBAC went as smoothly as possible.  She's totally someone I'd have as a best friend... if it were a possibility, which it isn't... anyway, I was set to be induced at 41 weeks if Baby A didn't come sooner... which he decided not to.  Apparently they don't want to induce sooner than that for VBACs.

So I was induced- I arrived at 8AM and all the boring vitals and hooking me up with an IV and blah blah blah... the hospital I went to was a teaching hospital, so there were a few things here and there that could have been handled a little better.  For instance, the first resident that "broke my water" supposedly put a hole in the bag and it was supposed to slowly leak (which I've never had done) and my labor was barely progressing.  About 6 hours later a 4th year resident checked and "rebroke" my bag and guess what- the Hoover Dam flooded and my labor started to progress extremely quickly.  This meant my epidural was not anywhere near being prepared, so I had to wait awhile for that.  I finally got it and maybe an hour or so later MY doctor came in, checked me and said push on the next contraction... 4 minutes later, there he was!  No tearing!!!  I felt fantastic.  I won't get into the demon doctor who was on the floor that shift, because she was one of the most uber-twatastic people I have ever met.  Five minutes before MY doctor came (just to check on me after the clinic closed) this "doctor" was saying I might have to have a c-section and suffocating me with an oxygen mask.

Anyway, I would do the VBAC again in a heartbeat- by far one of the best decisions in my life!!