I don't proofread my posts before I publish them... cause I keep my thoughts au naturale.

Monday, October 29, 2012

Book Review: Notes to My Future Husband by The Coquette

I'm all for humorous books... I'm all for humorous books that are written in a super easy to read format.  Well, this book is both.  And although that is the case, I'm not saying it's perfect by any means... I like it, I love it, and I hate it.  Here's why:

This book was written by a woman (who is apparently a popular advice columnist on The Daily) who is letting her future husband know the low down on what being with her will entail.  According to the book she is currently single and had (what I interpreted as) a bitter breakup the last guy around.

Well, I definitely agree on a lot of her feelings.  A big wedding is dumb, I love red velvet cake, bachelor/bachelorette parties are great, guys should have guy nights after marriage with friends and girls should too.  The author is definitely pro separate, yet together lives.  She is very modern woman in her theories and does not take any of that macho bull hockey from guys (so she says.)

But here's my beef.  First and foremost, she keeps referring to her future husband as "dude."  I flippin' hate that... a lot.  Secondly, she seems... not... um... how do I put this nicely... like she's destined to be single forever.   Granted, I do think that there are plenty of guys who would be okay with her forward thinking attitude.  I think people can appreciate her openness and candor, but honestly, I think she's got a lot of things that she seems committed to being absolutes.  I think there are guys who would like some say on some of those topics.  And she seems a little too bossy and "bitchy" (her words, not mine.)  I wish her good luck in finding a guy... but she made it clear she can go through life without one.

Definitely a cute read~ light hearted and witty.  I actually gave it to my husband to read some of it just so that he realized he could have had it much worse, lol.

I just hope that the author doesn't find me, because apparently she is not afraid to "cut a bitch."

Sunday, October 28, 2012

Book Review: Poopendous by Artie Bennett

Normally, I don't like "toilet humor."  I try to redirect my kids from saying things that I might consider as gross or trashy.  Despite being about... poop... this book is adorable!  I am very much in love with books for kids that rhyme... but let me clarify... books that rhyme in a GOOD way.  Too many authors force rhymes, but in this book, the rhymes flow like... poop?  EW, me.

So when I received this book to review, I was very excited and immediately read it to A & L.  Although it is labeled as being for preschool age, A liked it/understood it far more and she is almost 7.  I think some of the animals and concepts were a little over L's head.  What was great about it for A was that about a year or so ago she was telling me about the different pets she wanted and asking me if they poop.  I kept telling her that every animals poops and she was not too happy about that.

This is Artie's number two book... his first being The Butt BookPoopendous has received many rave reviews (including this one!)  I'm planning to ask L's preschool teacher if she would like to read it to the class.
 

Poopendous is definitely a keeper for us!  I'm excited to read it to Baby H when he starts to potty train.

MOTR Grade: A

Wednesday, October 24, 2012

The F-Bomb Debacle

For the umpteenth time, I will clarify... I am not a prude.

I suppose I have a few conservative views on things, but if you know me, you know I'm not a prude.  I think I make my stances on many topics very clear, but this one has been making me think lately.

When I hear someone use profanity, the context is usually what either makes my jaw drop, makes my eyes pop, makes me cringe or I just go with the flow.  Here are a couple instances I am referring to.

1) Casual conversation.  If my close friends swear, it doesn't really bother me.  I know that just like saying like... I was like so mad... so like when we were outside... I'm like 99% positive that he is HIV positive.. it becomes a habit.  I don't fault them for it unless they are being loud in public around strangers... then I try to hide my face.

2) On the job.  I would never swear on the job.  My mama taught me better!  LOL.  I'm sure it matters what job it is.  For instance, I work with mostly freshmen in college and to me they are still young and impressionable.  Therefore I like to provide a profanity-free environment.  I think I'm fun and that they like me (so the suck ups say) and I can do that without swearing.  I know there are jobs where it's not taboo.  If you work with other adults, they can handle it.

3) Around children. Now this is where I lose the friends and make people hate me.  I really don't think you should swear around children of any age.  Being a role model is what shapes these little IDs into developing their SUUUUUUUPERego.  Unless you want your kid to be a potty mouth, keep your potty mouth zipped.  Let's have a little tact, folks.

I am not the anti-profanity preacher here.  I love language and its various uses, but I think profanity should be like exclamation points... emphatic, but if you use it too much it becomes pointless.  I can recall instances when someone has used profanity in front of me and it was so unexpected it rattled my cage a wee bit.  I had never heard it from that person before, so I was caught off guard.

I am not perfect.  But here's the thing... when I drop an F bomb, you know it's about to go down, Charlie Brown.  I have to be super angry to let that fly and I tend to only reserve this for my husband... because I don't want anyone else to think I'm a potty mouth.  I also occasionally let the SHIZ hit the fan when I forget something, stub my toe, etc.  If my kids have heard any word from me, it's probably that.

This little thought tidbit I am sharing with you probably takes root in my own upbringing.  As a child we were unable to even say the word "butt."  To do so was grounds for quite the verbal backlash.  Although as we got older we used potty words with our friends, we knew better than to use them at home.  I recall one time my sister was in high school and she told me to go to Hell.  I tattled on her and my dad informed me that it was a place, not a bad word.

So thank you to my conservative parents who taught me that it's only okay to use profanity when you are yelling at the TV during a football game.  I am pretty okay with this life lesson.

Tuesday, October 23, 2012

All I Want for Christmas is... Two Free Hands!!!

First and foremost, let me apologize to all my paraplegic readers... yes, I'm a wuss.

I do not like to be trapped... it's just one of those many things I don't like.  Trap me in a room, watch me go bat shizzzzz crazy.  Trap me in crummy relationship, watch me load up a uhaul by myself.  Trap me in a coffin underground with only a small supply of air to last me until a detective figures out all the clues in time to save my life... nuts.

So with that in mind, I hate being trapped on my fanny holding a baby 24/7 or trapped with one hand available to do anything... dishes, cleaning... I am not your old fashioned lady who is okay with having a child strapped to her hip.  My worst frustration is not being able to type with two hands.  Between trying to keep up with this blog, blogging for school, doing my school assignments, responding to the neverending emails in my inbox or trying to grade papers and enter the grades onto the computer... I need both hands!  Hunting and pecking just doesn't fly.

My two hand options are- go into work early or stay late so I can type or get up super early/stay up late so I can have two hands free.  But then comes the pick and choose time of what do I need to do more with those two free hands?  Should I clean, fold laundry, strangle someone or use the computer?

While you ponder that, I'll get back to you.  Baby H just woke up and now I have no hands available.

Thursday, October 11, 2012

My Daughter Drives Me Crazy!!!

If you recall, 8 months ago I similarly posted that my son drives me crazy.  Oh, how the tables have turned.  My son will be 5 in January and he is a sweet and easy-going little boy.  He loves preschool, he stays in bed all night and he pretty much agrees to anything you ask him to do.  I like to think of him as an angel now, lol.

My daughter, however, is another story...

Once again, children are a gift from God, blah blah blah.  Now that I got that formality out of the way, let me tell you about my mini-me.  She will be 7 in December, but I'm pretty sure she has aged a decade in the past year.  The attitude!!!  Here's my biggest beefs with this child:

  1. Socks.  Every fourth school day she has P.E.  Normally she wears flip flops, sandals or slip on shoes and no socks.  On P.E. day she has to wear sneakers and socks.  She complains about it EVERY TIME.  Then she will spend a good 10 minutes fiddling with the seams until my head explodes or I put her shoes on and drag her out the door.  And then with the shoes she spends another 10 minutes messing with the velcro straps.  Now, I did not like wearing shoes and socks when I was little (still don't), but I don't recall throwing a fit about it when I had to.  I just took them off as soon as I got home.
  2. Arguing.  She argues about EVERYTHING.  And I mean Ev...er...y...THING.  You tell her the sky is blue and she will tell you that it's actually gray.  So when I tell her to put her socks on for P.E. day she will try to tell me that she really doesn't need socks and she can wear the sneakers without them.  If we are running late she will try to tell me that maybe if her brother went to a different school we wouldn't be late.  Very contrary.
  3. She is such a ... meaniehead.  This little girl can be vicious.  It's amazing that someone so young can read people and exploit their weaknesses.  She knows what buttons to push and boy does she!  She doesn't really do this much with me, but she does it with pretty much everyone else.  She can be so mean to her brother.  Then it boggles my mind when she is mean to her friends because I would think she would want to keep them as friends.  I wouldn't want to play with her!
  4. She picks on her brother.  As mentioned above, she is super mean to L.  Some days when she's mad she takes all her frustration out on him and makes him cry on a regular basis.  She will tell him he can't come in her room and when her friends are over she will tell them to be mean to him too.  Poor little guy looks up to her and loves her so much and that's what he gets in return.
 These are just the highlights.  I know that she has A LOT of similar characteristics to myself.  David even says she makes the same faces as I do.  Her attitude doesn't phase me, because I know she's trying to get a rise.  But some people can't let it go and have to react about everything.  And it's not about discipline, because I think I do a very good job disciplining my kids.  I don't know why she is such a grumpy gus.  I thought this attitude was reserved for teenagers.  It bums me out because she is so smart and funny and it's great when she shows her good side.  Sometimes she says things that are very profound and she is very wise for her age.

I'm wondering if this post will get the same kind of reaction as when I wrote about my son.  Are girls actually harder to raise than boys?  I've always thought it was the opposite.  I know as teenagers girls can be absolute witches, but I've met some boys that aren't very nice to their parents as teenagers either.

Who's in the same boat here?

Monday, October 1, 2012

The Slackery Cometh

To my readers and business affiliates:

I will apologize for the recent "slacking" and probably forthcoming as well.  Between work stuff, school stuff and communication stuff, I don't have a lot of time for internet usage.  My 3 month old is attached at the hip, which makes anything other than hunting and pecking virtually impossible.  I have to use my sparse times before I start teaching and after my classes are done for the day to get as much done as possible.

I have a lot to say, just no time to say it!!  Plus we just moved, so I have been using that baby napping time to try to put stuff away.

I will try to churn some pithy words out soon!

Don't forget about me!!