I don't proofread my posts before I publish them... cause I keep my thoughts au naturale.

Monday, December 19, 2011

I Can Be Proud of Myself

All my life, the only person who ever made me genuinely feel like they were proud of me was my Grandma J.  She would tell me everytime she saw me and I could feel that she really meant it.  On one other occasion out of the blue my ex grandfather-in-law told me he was proud of me because he was amazed by my wealth of computer knowledge and my ability to teach it to him.  That was a great moment for me.  Aside from that, the only time anyone has really told me they were proud of me was when I told them this story and they'd say, "well of course WE are proud of you too."  Yeah, that doesn't count.

I spent about the first 28 years of my life worrying about what other people thought about my choices and decisions, only to have them be unsupportive and over-critical. 

When I decided to leave my husband, you'd think I had just murdered someone.  Apparently being unhappy your entire life is more important than the "shame" of being divorced.  Someone once told me that it is better for children to "come from a broken home than to live in one."  I definitely agree with this.  I want to provide a positive role model for my children and I want them to know that they don't have to suffer their whole lives if they are unhappy just because some people put a negative connotation on divorce.  I want my daughter to become strong and independent and realize that her life doesn't need to revolve around men.  She can accomplish anything she wants in life by herself.  I want my son to grow up in a positive environment to break the cycle of anger and treating women as second class citizens.

If this makes me a selfish demon, that is NOT my opinion of the situation.  As you know if you follow my blog regularly, you know that in August I was offered a job to teach at a community college.  I couldn't believe it.  I have wanted to teach since I was a child, but I could never put my finger on what age I wanted to teach until I actually went to community college and it was my best educational experience by far.  The people actually are choosing to be there and although I like kids, it's nice not having to teach these students right from wrong.

I absolutely LOVE my job.  Sure, I'd love to do a million other things as well, but I would never want to not teach.  I achieved this job because I went to school and chose to pay attention in my classes.  I finished my associates in two years, while working and paying for classes out of my own pocket.  When I finished my bachelor my daughter was 1 and my daughter was 3.  I started my masters the fall after that.

I could have been like many other people I knew and chosen to party and drink and then later drop out.  I could have decided that having kids meant I had to wait until they were grown and gone to finish my education.  But I didn't. 

And how are my kids now?  AWESOME!  Sure, being 6 and 4 they have their issues, but no more so than any other kid.  They smile all the time, they laugh, they're happy, they love being around other kids, they are soooo loving and are constant affirmations that I am making good choices with my life.

So, to draw this to a close: two years ago I realized that there was no point in living my life to try to meet up to someone else's standards.  I wanted to be happy, I wanted my children to have a positive life experience and I wanted us to enjoy our life together.  I am proud of myself and I don't need anyone else to be proud of me.  And that's a good feeling.

Thursday, December 15, 2011

What to Expect... GIVEAWAY!!!

If you're unfamiliar with the What to Expect series, I'm curious to know how long you've been in a coma.  What to Expect When You're Expecting has launched an entire spectrum of products, resources, support and books for new, expecting and not so new parents.

Of course, the most familiar was the book that started the whole phenomenon.  What to Expect When You're Expecting is a book that takes you from the idea of making a baby all the way through what happens after the baby is born.  It gives helpful tips, great descriptions and of course- what to expect!  I read this back in 2005 when I was pregnant with my first and it was fantastic!  It helped me realize what things were normal in regards to symptoms, the progress my baby was making each week and even tips for birthing and after.  And now that I'm expecting my THIRD and it has been almost 4 years since my son was born, I find it just as interesting to read about it all over again.  I'm experiencing a few new symptoms that I didn't have with my first two and of course, they are in the book!

Included in this giveaway will also be What to Expect the First Year and What to Expect the Second Year.  These are just as helpful as the original pregnancy book as they help guide you through the insanity that is parenting!!!  Kids don't come with an instruction manual, but this is as close as you can get!!!


TWO lucky winners will receive a copy of each of the above mentioned titles!  Contest is open to US residents and ends January 5 at noon central.

To enter:

Like What to Expect on Facebook.

For additional entries:

1) Follow What to Expect on Twitter.
2) Post a link to this giveaway on any site and comment with the link below. 

Thanks and good luck!!!

The Help blu-ray review

I was so excited to see this movie!  I remember seeing the trailer for the first time in the theater and thinking it looked great!  I am super anti-racism and also anti-rich snobby people who think they are better than everyone, so this flick sounded right up my alley.

So, I couldn't really find one to watch it at the theater with me... apparently I don't know anyone that thinks that kind of movie is a must see.

Hallelujah, I saw it on Blu-ray when it came out!!  Emma Stone plays an aspiring journalist who decides to write a book from the perspective of the help, the black women who do pretty much everything in the households of these uppity white people.  Some of these women raise the children from birth, yet get cast aside like they are nothing.  It was not a new idea by any means to put the plights of the pre- civil rights movement atrocities in the public eye, but the way this was done was quite clever, touching and humorous at times.

Fortunately there were a couple of the employers who weren't complete scumbags.  The characters were all very well developed, casting was great and it held my interest the entire way through!

Family Time Factor: There are several adult themes and some language, so I would say 13 and up.

MOTR Grade: A

The Help is currently available on DVD and Blu-ray!!!

Monday, December 12, 2011

I Said No! by Zack and Kimberly King (book review)

One of the more difficult parts of parenting is talking to your kids about the "touchy" subjects.  As a parent, it is our job to let them know things about life, but how do you go about talking about them?

This book came at the perfect time for me.  My daughter is now 6 and there have been some questionable things happening when she is at her dad's and I felt like now is the perfect time to talk to her about inappropriate touching.  I can't be around her all the time and therefore I am going to have to hope that she can keep herself safe when I'm not there.

"I Said No! A kid-to-kid guide to keeping private parts private" gives the perspective from both a mother and her son's point of view.  Zack attended a slumber party where his friend asked him to touch his privates and told him all the cool kids do it.  Zack realized this was a red flag and tried to tell his friend's mom, but she did nothing about it.  Zack hid out in the bathroom and told his mom immediately when he got home the next day.

This book goes over things for children to say, red flags and green flags and people who are allowed to see your privates.  Also, it gives ideas on what to do if someone is inappropriate with you.  This is great because students are not born with the realization of what is okay and not okay when it comes to privates.  I remember when my daughter was around 2 or 3 and she had a yearly exam with her pediatrician.  He asked my permission to check her over and told her that he asked my permission because no one should be allowed to look at or touch her privates without her permission unless it is mommy or daddy.

Okay, so now that I've told you all the great things, I will give you my only beef with this book.  I didn't like the little pauses for discussion.  Of course I planned to discuss the book with my child, but I didn't need the prompts.

MOTR Grade: A-

I definitely think this is a book every parent should have in their collection and it should be read several times as your children get older.