I don't proofread my posts before I publish them... cause I keep my thoughts au naturale.

Showing posts with label fatigue. Show all posts
Showing posts with label fatigue. Show all posts

Wednesday, January 7, 2026

A Hero’s Journey, But It’s Just Me Getting Out of Bed


There are days when getting out of bed feels like climbing Mount Everest.

Not literally — no frostbitten fingers, no oxygen tanks, no Sherpa watching me cry because my sock seam feels “wrong.” But emotionally? It’s the same mountain. And the worst part? I can see the summit. It’s right there. The summit is: Stand up. Walk downstairs. And yet my brain acts like I’m gearing up for a National Geographic documentary.

People say things like “Just put your feet on the floor!” with the same confidence of someone telling you the secret to losing weight is “Just eat less.” If it were that easy, Karen, I wouldn’t be lying here calculating whether I have the energy to blink.

I wish I could be one of those people who wakes up, stretches, springs out of bed, and decides it’s a great day to go for a jog or scrub baseboards or alphabetize the spice rack.

Meanwhile I’m over here negotiating with myself like:

“If you get up now, you can sit on the couch instead.”

“If you walk to the kitchen, you don’t even have to cook — just vibe in front of the fridge like a sad little goblin.”

“If you check the mailbox, there’s a 1% chance it’s not bad news.”

There’s this invisible weight that sits on my chest some mornings — the kind of heavy that isn’t dramatic enough to write about in a medical journal but is absolutely heavy enough to keep me from standing up. It’s not laziness. It’s not lack of motivation. It’s not “needing a better morning routine” (thanks, reels).

It’s mental illness.

It’s exhaustion that sleep doesn’t fix.

It’s depression creeping in like a fog machine at a middle-school dance.

It’s anxiety whispering, “Don’t move, something might go wrong.”

It’s trauma saying, “You’re safer here.”

And yet — I still want to be the person who can just will themselves into action. I want to be the person who throws on shoes and checks the mailbox without giving themselves an internal TED Talk about perseverance. I want to be the person whose brain doesn’t turn a simple task into a death-defying expedition.

But here’s the thing I’m slowly learning:

Getting out of bed is climbing Mount Everest for some of us.

That doesn’t make us weak.

It just means we’re hiking a different mountain.

And on the days I finally swing my legs over the edge of the mattress, stand up, and take even five steps?

That’s my summit. That’s my flag at the top. That’s my “Hey, look, Ma, I made it!”

Some people climb Everest for bragging rights.

Some of us climb it just to get to the couch.

Both are victories.

Sunday, August 7, 2011

Mirena=Evil?

If you are a guy, you may want to not read this... or if you grew up referring to things as "monthly visitors" and blush at the though of contraceptives, this is not for you either.

So, when the Mirena came on the market, the idea of a birth control that lasted 5 years sounded like a miracle!  No more pills, patches, shots, etc. that you have to remember because one memory lapse could equal a bundle of joy in the making!  But, the idea that for 5 years you don't have to remember anything sounds fantastic!

Or does it?

I'm not saying that these can't be related to other things.  I'm not a doctor.  I haven't run tests on myself, but I feel like since it's my body, I just KNOW.  I was very wary of getting on Mirena because I had several friends and acquaintances tell me they didn't like it and had it removed or were thinking of having it removed.  But, after talking to the nurses, and being assured that it had very little side effects, I decided to take the plunge.  I also shared my concerns with them about how I hate adding extra hormones to my body because I have enough emotional problems as it is with being bipolar.

But ever since I had it put in, I've had these nagging suspicions and it just hasn't felt right.  I'm not saying it's unnatural... more like having a little piece of Satan embedded into your uterus... just saying.  Since getting on the Mirena, I have gained 15 lbs, felt bloated ALL THE TIME, been more depressed, crabby, etc.  I asked a couple months into having it about the weight gain and was told, oh, it doesn't cause weight gain.  I don't know if these people are just uninformed or have been brainwashed into telling all these women that the Mirena is completely harmless.

Well, I have never felt bloated in my life except when I was pregnant or occasionally during PMS.  I constantly feel like I'm 8 months pregnant!  I'm fatigued 95% of the time, I have no energy, I don't want to be seen in public, I'm already so bloated that the idea of drinking alcohol makes me fear I will explode, I get headaches, I get nauseous, I'm moody... ugh!  Like I said, I don't know if this is all from the Mirena, but from the intense googling I've been doing lately, these are all side effects.  Another big one I've read about is hair loss.  I don't know if this is true for me or not.  I've always had really thick hair and always shed like crazy, so yes, I still shed like crazy, but I don't know if it's anymore than usual.

I made an appt. to have the Mirena removed, but they can't get me in until the 17th.  I can't wait!  I will keep you posted on if it makes a difference or not.  I have read that some people notice an instant change.  I've read that some people go through withdrawal symptoms... but I'm anxious to experience it myself.

I just hope that more people will think about looking at the bad side to Mirena from other sources than what the company prints out or from the people who are getting some kind of kick back from endorsing the product.  I'm going to go back to ortho tri-cyclen.  Heck, I'd rather give birth to 10 children than enduring what I've been going through since I had my Mirena put in in December.  UGH!