I don't proofread my posts before I publish them... cause I keep my thoughts au naturale.

Wednesday, August 3, 2011

There Aren't Enough Things in this House for Me to Break!!!

Egads, sometimes things suck!  Sometimes they suck reaaaaaaaal bad.  (Badly?)  There are two things about myself that I take pride in: my kindness to animals and my kindness to children.  That's about it.  For the most part, aside from that, I don't know why I exist sometimes.  So, if someone were to come at me with opposition to either of those things, I wouldn't know what to do!

Well, today I found out what I'd do... I'd lie on the bathroom floor for an hour, bawl my eyes out and puke because of the migraine it gave me!  Let me preface this situation with a bit of back story.  As you know from following my blog, I have been babysitting for several months now just for a bit o' extra cash while I can't sub.  Anyway, it has been such a rewarding experience!  I have met some great kids and met some great parents as well!  Sure, I've had a couple bad apples here and there, but for the most part it has been a very positive thing in mine and my children's lives.  And one of the plus sides is that I've made two really good friends (maybe I'm making the assumption that they are friends, though, who knows) and it really boosts my deflated ego when parents tell me there kids ask to come back or when a parent comes to pick up their child and they don't want to go.  So, it has all been pretty great... until today.

This is what shocked me the most: the parent involved is someone I've known since high school.  We were kinda friends back then and then rekindled our friendship when I moved in January.  I've been to her house, met her kids, I thought things were hunky dory with us.  She and I couldn't be more different personality-wise, but that's the great thing about friends- diversity is somewhat what brings people together.

Well, because her mom was going to be out of state for a week, she asked if I could babysit.  I said yes and told her she didn't have to pay me or she could pay me whatever she wanted.  I didn't really care because her daughter and my daughter could play and it didn't matter to me to have one more kid around.  Well, fast forward to today and she totally threw me for a loop today after picking her daughter up.  I'm all about kids being happy when they are here because childhoods are meant to enjoy- as adults, it is harder to find things to smile about.  Apparently I am wrong and I suck at life.  Not her words, but I'm interpreting it as such.  I felt like she was telling me that I was a horrible person and the things she said made it clear that the way I parent my own children was not her idea of good.  I know she wasn't intentionally trying to hurt me, that's just the way she talks.  She is very straightforward and doesn't sugar coat anything.  Well, I'm very much a wuss and never tell people how I really feel.  Fast forward 20 texts later and I'm lying on the floor in the bathroom with the lights out bawling my eyes out.

I'm not gonna knock on her or put her down cause that's not good for anyone.  Although I disagree with a great many things she said to me, everyone is entitled to their own opinion.  I'm not going to argue.  I'll just chalk it up to another lesson learned and the loss of a friend.

I suck at life.

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