You know how sometimes in etiquette there are unwritten rules about things you just shouldn't say or do?
For instance, you should never ask a lady when she'd due unless you know for a fact that she is actually pregnant. Wait for her to mention it or wait until someone else has told you (that is reputable for telling the truth) that the lady is indeed pregnant. Otherwise, you might be placed in the awkward position of finding out that they are not even pregnant or that they have given birth- six months ago!
Well, I have thought of another one that I think is quite important! As a friend, when your good buddy breaks up with their partner, your immediate reaction is often to talk about what a bum said ex was. For example, if my friend Crystal and her husband split, I might think that it would make her feel better if I told her how much better off she was without him or how much of a bum he was. (Whether I felt that way or not.) We do this because we want our friends to realize that life will go on and that they are a good person and can do better.
BUT, I have never done this and would never do this because it is my experience that over half the time, the people end up getting back together! Then, not only does your friend now feel awkward that you dogged on their man like that, but if she tells him what you said, he will always question your sincerity when you are being friendly.
This works on both sides, too, not just if it's a girl or a guy. As a girl, if I were to find out that when my fella and I split, his best friend was instantly trying to find him tail, then we got back together, I would have lost quite a bit of respect for said friend.
I know, I know, the men reading this (if there are any) would say he had every right to do it, but... I'm not going down that road!
So, this is my warning to all of you that don't follow this unwritten rule of etiquette. Give the relationship a little cooling off time before you jump in on the mudslinging bandwagon. Even if your friend is bashing their ex themselves, it is better not to put in your two cents on the ex until it is pretty obvious there is no hope of the relationship surviving.