My Current Obstetrical & Pregnancy Beef

Okay, so let me put this in order of why I think I'm at the "annoyed" point that I'm at.

My ob/gyn sometimes is super busy and will have the nurse practitioner see his patients if he's running behind, but he says he doesn't want it to be more than once EVERY OTHER time.  Okay, so I'm at the weekly visit point in my pregnancy.  Well, THREE appointments ago the nurse practitioner had to see me because the doctor was running so far behind.  At that appointment she did feel around my stomach and said she thought the baby's head was down.  Also at that appointment I was informed (by a regular nurse) that the doctor had scheduled me an ultrasound in two weeks because the baby was measuring so big that my due date might be closer than was estimated.  So a nurse explained it to me.

Then TWO appointments ago I once again saw the nurse practitioner and this was because my doctor was on vacation.  She did not check baby's positioning and it was a routine appointment.  So LAST appointment (Thursday) I had my ultrasound and then met with... the nurse practitioner.  This was because my doctor was still on vacation and was due to return Friday.  So, at the ultrasound we found out that the baby was in breech position, it was estimating my due date as NEXT WEEK (10 days earlier than before) and that the baby was measuring 9 lbs 3 oz (with a give or take of 1 lb 6 oz.)  After my ultrasound was my appointment where I ended up seeing the n.p. as I mentioned.  Well, she doesn't generally look at the ultrasound results, but I talked to her about the findings.  She mentioned that being this far along my only options for him being breech were if a version (manipulating the baby by pushing on my stomach) or a c-section.  The N.P. said that she would put my paperwork on the doctor's desk so he'd be sure to see it when he came into the office Friday.

So of course Thursday night I come home and google my fingers off.  From what I read, a version is most often not performed after 37 weeks.  So, if I'm "39 weeks" now, I don't think they will do it.  However, guess when I wasn't 39 weeks... 3 appointments ago, 2 appointments ago...  when my doctor was unavailable.  Which makes me think I'm going to have to have a c-section.  My research said that it used to be that babies were delivered breech all the time, but nowadays doctors aren't trained for it and just opt for c-sections.  So it would make sense to me that they wouldn't want me to go into labor on my own.

BUT, guess who didn't get a call from the doctor Friday- that's right, this lady.  So here I am paranoid that if I go into labor on my own I'm gonna end up with a foot dangling out of my birth canal.  Is my doctor going to wait until my next appointment (Thursday) to tell me anything?  If so, what's the news going to be?  I just feel like it's pretty $hitty that no one would think that I should be in on the loop of what will happen or what should happen.

I know I could call the doctor and harass him until I get answers, but why should that be my job?  I've never had a c-section and although friends are telling me it's not that bad, I'm still pretty scared about the thought.

Anyway, I just wanted to vent about this as I know that if I did at the doctor's office it would fall on deaf ears and just be the "hormones talking."  Ugh.

Hell Hath No Fury Like This Lady Without Her Meds!!!

So I need to vent.  As you should all know if you follow my blog, I'm bipolar.  Well, I have been without one of my meds for almost two weeks.  Here is why:

When I moved from my last town in August, I had several months worth of pills left.  Well, thinking it would be a quick and painless transition, about 3-4 weeks ago, I tried to set up an appt with a local psychiatrist to get my meds refilled.  Well, apparently their office only accepts appointments with a referral.  Having my old doctor fax my information to my new doctor was considered a referral, but apparently this process is taking a long time and a lot of pointing fingers in the delay, but I can't make an appt. until the information is received by the new doctor.

In the meantime, I've been out of one of my medications.  You are often warned about the side effects of quitting psychotropic drugs cold turkey, so I decided to make an appointment with a general practice doctor in the same building.  So, I got in today.... and that doctor... wow.  I've never wanted to walk out of an office in my life and it took all my willpower not to!  She was super rude, wouldn't make eye contact and didn't understand why I couldn't wait for an appt with the psychiatrist.  She just kept asking if I was suicidal.  I really wanted to tell her that I'm homicidal, but she didn't seem like the type of person who gets sarcasm or jokes of any kind.  Long story short, she lectured me, told me she wasn't comfortable with it and told me I should try to make an appt with the psychiatrist.

Well, let me tell you.  At this moment, I hate everyone and everything.  I've felt this way since like two days after my meds ran out.  I could literally give a 5-10 minute speech on why I hate every person I know (except my kids.)  Do I actually hate them?  I don't think so... maybe one or two... but at this point in time, I want to stab them all from their left eyebrow to the dimples in their knee caps.  I get mad at the TV, I get mad at the wind.  I'm in a constant state of rage and it makes me pity those around me.  Add to this that I can't sleep and when I do I am having vivid dreams of pointless things.  I wake up 80 times a night and give up around 6am when I don't have to be up until 8.

So, no DOCTOR, I am not SUICIDAL, but how about you take your cracker jack box degree back to where you came from (she's new to the clinic) and learn something called empathy... and tact... and being around other human beings.

FAIL.

When it rains, it pours!

I hate to be a Debbie Downer, so hopefully after this post I'll have some more fun filled or positive ones. Actually, I did get a bit of good news- I was accepted into grad school at the only university I applied to. That was good as it was my only feasible option.

Anyway, onto downer personal items. So, as you saw from my post on Pekin, it looks like we probably won't be getting anything from insurance on our truck. So, a lesson in life learned. When someone flies through an intersection and totals your vehicle, don't be nice and feel sorry for said person because it was icy as my husband did. Put blame where it was due.

So yesterday was my son's one year check up. My 3 year old has been sick for over a week and started running a temp, so I took her in as well. My son had a small cold, but seemed to be getting over it. Well, he turned out to have an ear infection... again... so we were referred to an ear, nose and throat doctor who determined my son should have tubes put in. This will be done next Thursday. And what was wrong with my daughter? Pneumonia. My poor kid! And of course instead of feeling sorry for the also sick mother for having two sick children, "people" choose to be judgmental and lay all the blame at my feet for exposing them to the outdoors or saying perhaps my house is too cold... cause God forbid it was one of the many viruses going about or traveling on an airplane, etc.

I am desperate for some good news! Being on a tight budget, having to buy a new vehicle so my husband has transportation to work, buying medicine left and right, doctors appointments, gas to transport to said doctors and the stress of all these things along with the fact I've been sick for several days is leaving me in woe.

Luckily I'm a glass half full kinda gal and know there is sunshine in the horizon or I'd need some mass quanitites of Prozac to get over this present hurdle.

Thanks for listening to my rant! I promise happier posts soon!