Despite the whole bipolar thing, I see myself as a glass full kind of gal. I totally abhor suicide because people have to realize that life CAN get better, you just have to work at it. Of course, I know that not every bad thing in life is specifically that person's fault... believe me, I KNOW. I always say that the bad things that have happened to me in life are because of other people. That probably sounds like I don't take the blame for anything, believe me I do! If I don't have money for gas and I don't work, duh, it's my fault I don't have money for gas! But if I don't have money for gas because Jen Schirm of Iowa City didn't pay me the $150 she owed me for babysitting... well, then I blame Jen Schirm. (Of course I can be partially to blame for trusting someone who couldn't be trusted.)
So, rewind to yesterday. Not to get into details, but when we moved into our apartment, the lady that manages the property we moved into said that she wouldn't cash our deposit until close to Sept. 9th because that's when we'd be caught up from moving. She even talked us into moving sooner than we had planned because she kept insisting the check wouldn't get cashed until the 9th. Well, guess what. Yesterday was soooo not the 9th and the check got deducted from my bank account, which immediately ruined my day. Once again, I suppose I can take blame for trusting someone... am I beginning to see a pattern here? Wow, I just had an epiphany... bad things happen to me when I trust people. Aha! Now I know why I say you can never trust anyone.
Fast forward back to today. A deposit came in sooner than I had anticipated, which covered the check that was cashed yesterday! That immediately put me in a much better mood. And I sat there and realized, you know, I have two awesome kids who are with me 98% of the time, I have a fantastic boyfriend who loves me endlessly, I have friends that occasionally talk to me, I just got a part in a play, which is one of my favorite things to do AND, I love my job!!! So dang it, I tell myself, I need to start looking more at the positives than the negatives. Sure, David tells me that all you need is love... well, I don't know that living in a cardboard box with my kids eating rats is really going to make me happy, but I appreciate his sentiment.
So for today, it's a good day and I'm loving life!!!