You know how every year at Christmas you waste your time delivering gifts to the sniveling children across the world? You know, toys that they probably don't appreciate or break or get bored with after a day? And you know those kids were naughty a great majority of the year!
I never ask for anything for Christmas, and I feel like you could just do me this one time delivery. I've been super duper good this year aside from the gossiping, but I try really hard to not make it malicious. Okay, so I could probably try harder not to gossip at all, but I'm a girl and I can't help it! Otherwise, I can't think of any atrocities that would put me on the naughty list. I donate a buck everytime there's someone standing outside WalMart with a boot or a bucket or a jar. I take things to the Salvation Army about every other day. Then there's the times I slow down and roll my window down to shout to the deer that they need to be careful cause they're close to the road... I think I've been pretty darn good, Santa!
So, all I want this Christmas is something that would make my life easy peasy lemon squeezy. I'd be able to get a good night's sleep, my chore list would be cut and half, my toes wouldn't be freezing, my in-laws would have less to criticize and there wouldn't be ladybugs in every light fixture.
That's right Santa, I'd like a new house; just this one little thing! And you can just drop it off in front of the old one, there's plenty of room.
Thanks, Santa! You're a doll!