I don't proofread my posts before I publish them... cause I keep my thoughts au naturale.

Saturday, October 10, 2009

Why Am I Awake at 3AM?

On second thought, maybe I should have entitled this, "why can't I go back to sleep and it's 3am?" I know why I'm awake- L has decided he doesn't want me to get a good night's sleep and is waking up constantly for some odd reason. But why I can't GO BACK to sleep is the same reason I couldn't fall asleep by midnight...

My semester paper.

If you knew me, you'd know that I never stress about school work. I enjoy it. I like to work out the ole' noggin from time to time. But this paper is going to be the death of me! And here's the kicker, writing it isn't the hard part! I have racked my brain from here to eternity trying to figure out what I'm supposed to write about! Okay, so the purpose of a "seminar paper" is to promote a scholarly conversation? Yes? No? Does anyone know? I've gone so far as to google "seminar paper" and it's about as helpful to me as hearing other people's topics.

You'd think this was the only paper I have due this semester... but it's not. I've got like four other ones due, but am I stressed about them? No. I feel in this awkward stage of limbo where I think I'm supposed to feel dumb for not getting this, but I don't. Every topic I have chosen is either not "scholarly" or not able to support an argument... or too broad... argh!

If you've been following my blog, you'd know how excited I was at the beginning of the semester. I LOVED school. I felt like I'd died and gone to heaven. But here I am eight weeks into the semester contemplating why I bother and why I don't just take my bachelor and flip burgers at McDonalds?

Disillusionment is keeping me awake. I suppose I will go attempt to watch The View while I itch myself to sleep, ready to wake up tomorrow morning completely unrefreshed and devoid of joy for life. *sigh*

P.S. (I hope you realized I had sent you an invitation to my pity party!)

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