I might have conquered Walmart

I'm sure everyone (and I mean EVERYONE) who shops at Walmart has run into this problem before: you go in to buy one thing and end up coming out having spent $100.  It happens to the best of us.  And if you're like the other 99% of the country, you're not rich, so that $100 would probably have been better spent elsewhere.  Dang Walmart for having so much stuff that we think we need, but we actually want (don't we always need neon colored socks)!

Well, I have found myself a solution, and perhaps it will work for you as well.  Every pay day, I make a list of the necessities I have that are cheapest from Walmart.  This could be things like laundry detergent, baby wipes, diapers, dish washing detergent, etc.  Then there might be things I wanted to look for at Walmart, but can get online from them, such as my son's birthday is coming up and I wanted to see what Monsters University things they had, so I ended up ordering him a blanket.  By ordering these things online, I avoid going in the actual store.  I save time, don't have to encounter the dreaded "people of Walmart," and avoid being tempted by the non-essentials on the end caps that always seem to catch my eye.  (Sure, a bottle of soap refill for $2.88 sounds like something I should buy today!)

And I know you have some questions.  What about the cost of shipping?  Oh, ho ho, My Friend.  If I spend over $50, the shipping is free.  And many of those necessities come in bigger sizes online.  For instance, I can buy bigger boxes of diaper than what they sell in the store, which means they are less cents per diaper and last me longer.  And spending over $50 on those things would have happened anyway, but now I have stocked up until the next paycheck (and much longer on some items.)

Of course, there are some things here and there that aren't available online, but I can usually get just as cheap, if not cheaper at the grocery store a block from my house.  Generally pet food and litter are cheaper at chain grocery stores anyway.

Oh, another good point for me is that I don't have a Walmart in my town, but there is one where my ex and my parents live, so I am usually there every two weeks anyway.

And for those who are afraid to put their credit cards on Walmart's website, I pay with Paypal, which to me adds another layer of security as I'm not putting any info directly on Walmart's website and Paypal has a lot of security.

Well, there you have it!  Try it and see if it helps you.  But if you're one of those few people who can actually go to Walmart with a list and no temptation, congratulations!  I don't have that kind of willpower. 

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My Theory About This Guy at WalMart

So Friday I was in WalMart. 

It's no fresh news that often you come across some "interesting" people there.  Of course in my hometown the most I usually scoff at are the people cussing out their children loudly in the store- talk about trashy!  But nothing so interesting as what you see on People of WalMart.  (If you've never checked out the site, you're really missing out on some good laughs!)

Okay, so anyway, I was in WalMart in my hometown on Friday.  I was just casually strolling towards the cat food aisle and was passing the hair care aisle when I noticed a gentleman that looked to be either a rough late 30s or in his 40s.  Well, he was using a hairbrush to brush his hair and then I saw him put said brush back on the shelf.  His hair appeared to be somewhat greasy, but I wasn't going to get close enough to look.

First thing that came to mind was, "totally gross."  Second thing that came to mind is that I'm glad I've had the same awesome hairbrush since the 80s so I don't have to worry about buying a new one that has been slightly used.

So I'm thinking that maybe what happened was that this guy had a hot date and decided to use the WalMart facilities to get ready.  Maybe he washed up in the bathroom, went to the deodorant aisle to manage his body odor (assuming he had some), stopped by the cologne and spritzed himself and who knows- maybe he tested out some toothpaste while he was at it.

Of course, this is all just hypothetical.  But what a great story to tell his future grandkids if he was in fact going out on a hot date.

People of WalMart hilarity!

Thanks to @CrazyCatLadie for emailing this to me:  I picked my favorites (the captions were in the email, I didn't write them)...


Ummm, I think you might need something more than the pine tree air-freshener. It’s a start......not where I would have started.......but it’s a start.



Hookers love cupcakes. I have nothing else to add to that. Can’t argue with the facts.



I wonder if she can 'tie ‘em in a knot or tie ‘em in a bow'......because unfortunately, I already know they 'wobble to an fro’.



At what point does a person just say “F*ck it, I don’t need to put on shoes or pants”? Most people in the world would put pants on to walk into another room of the house, or if not that, then they would put some on if they're going to the street to get their mail. And you made it to Wal-Mart.



The irony here is overwhelming. I’m just going to sit back and let you soak it in.