Thanks to @CrazyCatLadie for emailing this to me: I picked my favorites (the captions were in the email, I didn't write them)...
Ummm, I think you might need something more than the pine tree air-freshener. It’s a start......not where I would have started.......but it’s a start.
Hookers love cupcakes. I have nothing else to add to that. Can’t argue with the facts.
I wonder if she can 'tie ‘em in a knot or tie ‘em in a bow'......because unfortunately, I already know they 'wobble to an fro’.
At what point does a person just say “F*ck it, I don’t need to put on shoes or pants”? Most people in the world would put pants on to walk into another room of the house, or if not that, then they would put some on if they're going to the street to get their mail. And you made it to Wal-Mart.
The irony here is overwhelming. I’m just going to sit back and let you soak it in.