To those who might find themselves assuming, some of these examples come from others, not just my own personal experiences:
Men are a strange beast. Women are just a big jumble of emotional mess. Women love Valentine's Day if they are with someone new, loathe Valentine's Day if they are with no one and resent Valentine's Day when they find themselves in a bitter point of life where they refuse to jump off the Titanic despite the fact it is clearly a sinking ship.
Men loathe Valentine's Day because they have to spend money... and lots of it. If they only spend a little, they will look like cheapskates. However, if they spend a bundle, it's never good enough. Because all women want what they see in movies with rosepetal lined pathways and limos and hotel rooms with giant bathtubs and turn down service and chocolate covered strawberries. Anything less is just a failed attempt at romance in their eyes. And let's not get into the fact that 1 out of 5 marriage proposals happens on Valentine's Day. And men, be prepared! If you have been with a woman more than 8 months, she is secretly wondering about it. Even though it might be the last thing on your mind, trust me, she is thinking it's a definite possibility. And once a year has passed and countless Valentine's Days go buy without that bling bling ring, each Valentine's Day will mark another let down in her eyes. No matter what you do, if there is not a ring, a little part of her soul dies.
Now what are my thoughts on Valentine's Day? Well, I have some people pondering this very thing. Sure, I may seem like that whole, "I am woman, hear me roar" kind of thing, but let's face it- I AM a chick. I'm a girlie girl in the worst possible way when it comes to romance, but apparently not when it comes to what I consider to be annoying gestures.
Honestly, I would be happy with an anonymously sent bouquet of flowers (white roses if you're interested). Anonymous because I don't have to wonder about the intentions of the sender. I don't have to wonder if they were sent as a meaningful gesture, if they were sent in hopes I'd think more highly of someone than I probably should or if they were sent merely from some obligatory ritualistic thought of what women want.
If you are someone that takes your phone with you into the shower because you don't want me to know who you text or who is texting you, then don't send me flowers. If you are someone that gets angry because I spend too much time on my computer (which really isn't true) or because I'm addicted to my blackberry, don't send me flowers. If you constantly talk to me about the rack on a chick at the bar BEFORE I comment on her rack, don't send me flowers. If you eat lamb, veal or deer on a regular basis, don't send me flowers. If you hunt, don't even acknowledge my existence. But if you are someone who actually gives half a shit about my thoughts when I actually feel like sharing them with you and you don't fall under any of these categories, go ahead... even one rose would suffice! I can be sappy when I want to be. But don't ever sing songs to me in public and expect me to fake my way through not vomiting... cause I may be a sucker for romance, but I draw the line at public humiliation.
Now, if you are a woman who is with a man that cheats on you, you should expect nothing. Because really, you're stupid. If you choose to stay with someone that chooses not to hold you in their highest esteem shame on you. But if you are only biding your time with them until someone better comes along, whatevs, just don't expect romance on Valentine's Day cause it's a sham.
And what should guys get for Valentine's Day? Nothing. Yeah, you heard me, nothing. Everyone knows, but isn't willing to admit that Valentine's Day is actually Chick's Day. No guy gives a crap and no girl gives good gifts. All a guy really cares about on Valentine's Day is if their will be coitus involved. Seriously. Don't give him a card- not even a 99 cent one.
And what am I expecting this Valentine's Day? Nothing. Do I care? I'll pretend I don't, but gestures do make the chick buried deep down inside me smile a bit. You will know by my sour or sweet tweets around 10pm tomorrow night how that goes.
I'm definitely curious to see how real people wanna be in their comments on this...
Happy Valentine's Day!!!