I am moving into my new apartment Saturday and I am so excited. This week is a flurry of packing, changing my address, giving my new information to business contacts, getting electric switched, all that good stuff. I'm just beyond thrilled about this exciting new chapter to my life. I have always been a firm believer that only we control our happiness. I've met too many people that are miserable, but do nothing to change that. We are fortunate to live in a free country where we are allowed to make our own decisions as long as they are legal.
When I was going to grad school a year or so ago, I was miserable. I loved my job soooooo much there and my boss and my coworkers, but I could not handle the way the department was run like a nazi regime. Driving there each day was like driving out of the sunshine and into a dark mass of clouds and no matter what I could not shake the feeling of abject misery. So, I left. I KNOW I will finish- I always do, it just takes me a little longer than the average person, lol.
That's how I feel about leaving my current town. There is nothing here for me. I can only go so far career-wise in a town with a dwindling population of approximately 10,000. I will absolutely miss my friends and my family, but I am not far enough away that I can't visit as much as I want. But I feel like I'm constantly under a dark cloud here. There is so much gossip and drama. People who never speak to me normally are gossiping trying to fill in the blanks left from my facebook statuses about moving. Family members are jumping on the bandwagon of putting me down, making me feel like I'm a horrible human being that has nothing but selfishness in my heart.
I KNOW I'm a good person. I love my kids more than anything and I want to show them by example that you can do anything you want with your life. I'm a strong, independent person and this move is going to let me prove that to the world. I'm not scared, I'm purely excited. There is for once in my life no man motivating my choices, I'm doing this for me. I know my kids will have the best life I can possibly give them and I am not worried for their future. My daughter will see how successful a woman can be on her own and she will realize that she doesn't need a man to make or break her.
If you know me, don't judge me. Be HAPPY for me. I am not intentionally hurting anyone, I refuse to spend the life that I have left being unhappy and not being brave and trying for the things I want in life. If you have questions, ask me. There is only one person that knows what is going through my head and that is me. Don't speculate and fabricate. I'm an honest person and although I try my hardest to be positive and not put anyone down, I know I'm not perfect.
If you don't know me, just know I'm happy and excited about where my life is headed. Everyone has it in them to change their situation, although it may seem impossible at times. My theory is when life hands you lemons, make zest with them all!
I love you all! (Even the haters.)