The first thing I always think about when it comes to Mother's Day is that I would think that the mothers of small children would actually want a BREAK for Mother's Day. Of course, the hugs, kisses, attempts at helping with breakfast are super adorable, but really... I see these kids every day. So for Mother's Day, wouldn't it be nice for someone to offer to babysit for three hours so you can drink a margarita and watch Golden Girls reruns? And it never fails that the kids will at some point have a bad attitude or fight with each other- why would you get your hopes up thinking that they wouldn't just because it's Mother's Day?
But here's my other thought: my kids are young, so I don't know what it's like to be a mother of adult children. What are the expectations? What are the disappointments? Do mothers of adult children have secret wishes for what they want to happen on Mother's Day or are they over it because it's not a "significant holiday" in their minds? I'd be curious to know. I know many mothers like to compare with coworkers and friends about all the "wonderful" things that their children did for them on Mother's Day. The funny thing, though, is that these mothers probably get cussed out on the phone, belittled or yelled at by their children on a regular basis. I feel like as an adult with a mother that whether I send flowers, give candy, some generic gift basket, it would seem moot. I can't give my mom a break from being a mom because she doesn't have small children anymore. I can make a point not to be rude or tell her anything that might upset her. But it just seems like there's not a lot that an adult child can do... but like I said, I don't know what it's like, so I can't say what she wants. I moved out 10 years ago, never moved back and gave her peace, does that count?
But anyway, these are just a couple of my thoughts I'm having this morning as Thoughtful David has taken my children out of the house to go get me a gift and stuff to make breakfast. It's funny because in his mind, buying things makes the best gift, but really, it's the peace and quiet I enjoy while they are out running errands!
And lastly, a thought on my own mother: I know there have been a good many times when I have been a horrible daughter. Of course there were the teenage years when my total lack of respect probably made her rethink the 40 weeks (plus 16 days of being overdue) she spent carrying me. I like to think that at least I can try to play the "I'm bipolar" card and hope that makes up for it, but I know that it was a culmination of teenage stupidity AND being mentally defective. But luckily, my mom forgave me for all (and there were many) my stupid mistakes.
I used to joke with people when they asked me to keep a secret and I'd say, "the only people I will tell are my mom and my husband." Of course, I'm not married anymore, so I tell my current SO. Although I don't feel like I can tell her EVERYTHING, it's nice that when I'm upset I can shoot my mom an email and vent about it or call her and "gossip" about people and their stupid actions. I can't remember where I heard this, but I once heard, "a mother can only be as happy as her most unhappy child." So, I'm sure when I call her with my personal miseries if I have them, it's not good on her sanity. And she doesn't usually give advice, but it's nice to have someone intelligent to bounce things off of. So, hopefully my siblings are more unhappy than I so I don't have to feel guilty, haha. (I'm not unhappy though, so she shouldn't stress about me.)
Anyway, long story short, my mom may not have been the biggest fan of children when I was little and she was a hard-working mom. But I know quite a few women who were stay at home moms and their adult children can't stand them. So, whatever kind of mom she chose to be as we were young, it worked because I have yet to meet anyone else's mom that I would rather have. She's the best role model a girl could have and if one day I had even a tenth of the respect from my peers that she has, and if I raise a daughter who turns out half as awesome as I have, then I'd feel like I had accomplished a lot.
Happy Mother's Day!!!