I don't proofread my posts before I publish them... cause I keep my thoughts au naturale.

Sunday, April 24, 2011

Easter Blues

First and foremost, my apologies on inundating everyone with reviews and no original posts- gotta pay the bills, and since there are so many, sometimes I get buried in them and have a hard time surfacing enough to think of worthwhile things to say- not that anything I say is necessarily worthwhile, but I like to ramble from time to time...

So today is Easter- go Jesus!  As a big fan of God, I do acknowledge this holiday.  And this year I have a huge case of the blues.  I'm going to chalk it up to 30% adjusting to my new bipolar meds and 70% not being around family for the first Easter in my existence.  Normally I spend every Easter with my parents and since becoming a mom, I have never spent an Easter away from my kids.  Well, this year I am not around either and it is lighting the edges of my heart on fire and slowly smoldering itself into the middle.

Without getting into negativity and drama, I found myself "unable" to go back to my hometown for the holidays.  I would have only spent a couple hours with my kids anyway while they did an Easter egg hunt, so it hardly made up for the sheer velocity of retribution I would have had to deal with by going back.  So, I told my daughter that I would stay home and make sure I was here to get whatever the Easter bunny left in case he left it outside the door.  She seemed quite okay with this idea and was not disappointed that I wasn't going back with her.  My son is too young to understand the concept of it being a holiday, he just knows that he gets presents... and don't even get me started on where the french fries this whole Easter bunny thing came from when we celebrate the holiday because Jesus rose... did he see a bunny and dub it the deliverer of candy and trinkets?  I don't recall seeing that in the Bible, but maybe I was skimming.

So what am I going to do on this Easter?  Well, I'm going to try to dig myself out of this hole of despair and emotional turmoil and try to enjoy spending the day with the boyfriend.  I know that I should try to make it special for him because he did not get to see his family either, but my selfish tendencies come in and I find it hard to muster a facade of excitedness.  I did start a crockpot full of loaded baked potato soup for dinner and I guess it's an Easter food because it has bacon and bacon comes from a pig and so does ham.

Okay, I'm going to wallow in self pity now.  Enjoy the day, whichever way you choose to do so!!!

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