I was thinking today... because it's a nice pastime.
I don't know if I'm the only one in the world who has these thoughts... the ONLY ONE... but I like feeling special. I like feeling unique, one of a kind, perhaps... the cat's pajamas. So, I don't want to think of myself as being someone who gets to have a recycled pet name. I know there are cliches like Boo, Hon, Sweetie, Dear, Mama, Baby, Lovie Wuvvie Schnoodle Bug... but if that's what you called your ex, count me out! I don't wanna be any of those things!
I'm not saying this anecdote is about me... let's say it's about my friend. Her name is... ShmansterMitten. We'll call her Sammy for short. Well, one day Sammy's boyfriend was having his wisdom teeth pulled and he was doped to the gills. While Sammy was caring for him, his phone kept blowing up and as Sammy was a snoopy little B, she checked. Previously Sammy's boyfriend had been referring to her as "Hon", which although not unique, was something she hadn't been called before and it felt nice. Well, on this occasion, Sammy looked at her boyfriend's phone and saw that his ex and he had been exchanging texts about how he was doing and in one he had called her "Hon." Well, add that to the fact that he had claimed to have deleted her number and had in fact just put it in under a guy's name, and Sammy went into a blind rage. (Which reminds me, my next blog post should be about me being a hypocrite.) Long story short, Sammy is now endearingly referred to as "babe." (Feminists calm down- she's okay with it.) This is not a recent occurrence, just the only example I had in this scenario that wasn't an obvious reference to those who know me and lurk.
Anywho, so am I wrong in believing that recycling a pet name from a previous relationship is a no-no? If you called your last boyfriend "Boo," perhaps call this one "Shoe" (they are both equally ridiculous). If you called your last boyfriend "Daddy," how about calling this one "Sugar t*ts?" I mean, if you like the pet name so much, maybe you shoulda stayed with the previous pet, just saying.
625f28d69cd9b69b0194fc8dcdff4c10ccbed95a24bb336c72
Showing posts with label life. Show all posts
Showing posts with label life. Show all posts
Saturday, May 6, 2017
Wednesday, October 24, 2012
The F-Bomb Debacle
For the umpteenth time, I will clarify... I am not a prude.
I suppose I have a few conservative views on things, but if you know me, you know I'm not a prude. I think I make my stances on many topics very clear, but this one has been making me think lately.
When I hear someone use profanity, the context is usually what either makes my jaw drop, makes my eyes pop, makes me cringe or I just go with the flow. Here are a couple instances I am referring to.
1) Casual conversation. If my close friends swear, it doesn't really bother me. I know that just like saying like... I was like so mad... so like when we were outside... I'm like 99% positive that he is HIV positive.. it becomes a habit. I don't fault them for it unless they are being loud in public around strangers... then I try to hide my face.
2) On the job. I would never swear on the job. My mama taught me better! LOL. I'm sure it matters what job it is. For instance, I work with mostly freshmen in college and to me they are still young and impressionable. Therefore I like to provide a profanity-free environment. I think I'm fun and that they like me (so the suck ups say) and I can do that without swearing. I know there are jobs where it's not taboo. If you work with other adults, they can handle it.
3) Around children. Now this is where I lose the friends and make people hate me. I really don't think you should swear around children of any age. Being a role model is what shapes these little IDs into developing their SUUUUUUUPERego. Unless you want your kid to be a potty mouth, keep your potty mouth zipped. Let's have a little tact, folks.
I am not the anti-profanity preacher here. I love language and its various uses, but I think profanity should be like exclamation points... emphatic, but if you use it too much it becomes pointless. I can recall instances when someone has used profanity in front of me and it was so unexpected it rattled my cage a wee bit. I had never heard it from that person before, so I was caught off guard.
I am not perfect. But here's the thing... when I drop an F bomb, you know it's about to go down, Charlie Brown. I have to be super angry to let that fly and I tend to only reserve this for my husband... because I don't want anyone else to think I'm a potty mouth. I also occasionally let the SHIZ hit the fan when I forget something, stub my toe, etc. If my kids have heard any word from me, it's probably that.
This little thought tidbit I am sharing with you probably takes root in my own upbringing. As a child we were unable to even say the word "butt." To do so was grounds for quite the verbal backlash. Although as we got older we used potty words with our friends, we knew better than to use them at home. I recall one time my sister was in high school and she told me to go to Hell. I tattled on her and my dad informed me that it was a place, not a bad word.
So thank you to my conservative parents who taught me that it's only okay to use profanity when you are yelling at the TV during a football game. I am pretty okay with this life lesson.
I suppose I have a few conservative views on things, but if you know me, you know I'm not a prude. I think I make my stances on many topics very clear, but this one has been making me think lately.
When I hear someone use profanity, the context is usually what either makes my jaw drop, makes my eyes pop, makes me cringe or I just go with the flow. Here are a couple instances I am referring to.
1) Casual conversation. If my close friends swear, it doesn't really bother me. I know that just like saying like... I was like so mad... so like when we were outside... I'm like 99% positive that he is HIV positive.. it becomes a habit. I don't fault them for it unless they are being loud in public around strangers... then I try to hide my face.
2) On the job. I would never swear on the job. My mama taught me better! LOL. I'm sure it matters what job it is. For instance, I work with mostly freshmen in college and to me they are still young and impressionable. Therefore I like to provide a profanity-free environment. I think I'm fun and that they like me (so the suck ups say) and I can do that without swearing. I know there are jobs where it's not taboo. If you work with other adults, they can handle it.
3) Around children. Now this is where I lose the friends and make people hate me. I really don't think you should swear around children of any age. Being a role model is what shapes these little IDs into developing their SUUUUUUUPERego. Unless you want your kid to be a potty mouth, keep your potty mouth zipped. Let's have a little tact, folks.
I am not the anti-profanity preacher here. I love language and its various uses, but I think profanity should be like exclamation points... emphatic, but if you use it too much it becomes pointless. I can recall instances when someone has used profanity in front of me and it was so unexpected it rattled my cage a wee bit. I had never heard it from that person before, so I was caught off guard.
I am not perfect. But here's the thing... when I drop an F bomb, you know it's about to go down, Charlie Brown. I have to be super angry to let that fly and I tend to only reserve this for my husband... because I don't want anyone else to think I'm a potty mouth. I also occasionally let the SHIZ hit the fan when I forget something, stub my toe, etc. If my kids have heard any word from me, it's probably that.
This little thought tidbit I am sharing with you probably takes root in my own upbringing. As a child we were unable to even say the word "butt." To do so was grounds for quite the verbal backlash. Although as we got older we used potty words with our friends, we knew better than to use them at home. I recall one time my sister was in high school and she told me to go to Hell. I tattled on her and my dad informed me that it was a place, not a bad word.
So thank you to my conservative parents who taught me that it's only okay to use profanity when you are yelling at the TV during a football game. I am pretty okay with this life lesson.
Monday, September 17, 2012
"Overwhelmed" is profanity.
whelm verb: to submerge, engulf
overwhelm verb (used with object)
2. to load, heap, treat, or address with an overpowering or excessive amount of anything
I have an extreme abhorrence for the word "overwhelmed" but mainly when people try to use it in regards to me. I had one of the top 5 worst experiences in my life happen about 3 years ago in grad school and a certain pompous meanie face with total social ineptitude had the gall to say that I might be "overwhelmed" with my work load and personal life. I was livid! And of course the other aspects of that incident left me wondering about humanity and how on earth people could be so vicious and unfeeling blows my mind.
Well the other day my new therapist used the word "overwhelmed," but in a question as in, "do you feel overwhelmed and is that causing...?" And of course the answer is no. I don't feel overwhelmed. She wasn't saying it in a mean or accusing or negative way, so I won't fault her for that.
Although I think that people may assume I am overwhelmed, whether from my behavior, irritability, throwing things at walls, no, I am not overwhelmed. I would never take on more than I can handle. In fact, I thrive on being busy. Yes, some days I want to just bum it out, but I can't stand the thought of lying in bed all day, sitting around in my pajamas all day, watching tv all day... maybe for the first part of the day I can sit and chill, but that's about it. My mind begins to flood with the things that I could be doing but I am not.
I work, but not full time. I am taking 3 grad classes right now, but I should have been finished two years ago. I have 3 kids, but they are pretty great kids and I have a wonderful husband who helps me immensely. Sure I get a bit frustrated when I am inundated with questions and ideas thrown at me in a 30 second period of time. Sure I get set off by little things time to time, but that has to do with my mental illnesses and not because I am completely overwhelmed.
So if you think I am, I am not. I am as busy as I want to be. Life is short and you gotta pack as much of it as you can and right now I think there are many other things in life I could be doing.
Oh, and I've been having a great physical issue with having a complete lack of energy and my psychiatrist is an idiot (as they all seem to be so far) and she just keeps throwing wacky meds at me to try and help me out.
But I'm not overwhelmed.
1. to overcome completely in mind or feeling: overwhelmed by remorse.
I have an extreme abhorrence for the word "overwhelmed" but mainly when people try to use it in regards to me. I had one of the top 5 worst experiences in my life happen about 3 years ago in grad school and a certain pompous meanie face with total social ineptitude had the gall to say that I might be "overwhelmed" with my work load and personal life. I was livid! And of course the other aspects of that incident left me wondering about humanity and how on earth people could be so vicious and unfeeling blows my mind.
Well the other day my new therapist used the word "overwhelmed," but in a question as in, "do you feel overwhelmed and is that causing...?" And of course the answer is no. I don't feel overwhelmed. She wasn't saying it in a mean or accusing or negative way, so I won't fault her for that.
Although I think that people may assume I am overwhelmed, whether from my behavior, irritability, throwing things at walls, no, I am not overwhelmed. I would never take on more than I can handle. In fact, I thrive on being busy. Yes, some days I want to just bum it out, but I can't stand the thought of lying in bed all day, sitting around in my pajamas all day, watching tv all day... maybe for the first part of the day I can sit and chill, but that's about it. My mind begins to flood with the things that I could be doing but I am not.
I work, but not full time. I am taking 3 grad classes right now, but I should have been finished two years ago. I have 3 kids, but they are pretty great kids and I have a wonderful husband who helps me immensely. Sure I get a bit frustrated when I am inundated with questions and ideas thrown at me in a 30 second period of time. Sure I get set off by little things time to time, but that has to do with my mental illnesses and not because I am completely overwhelmed.
So if you think I am, I am not. I am as busy as I want to be. Life is short and you gotta pack as much of it as you can and right now I think there are many other things in life I could be doing.
Oh, and I've been having a great physical issue with having a complete lack of energy and my psychiatrist is an idiot (as they all seem to be so far) and she just keeps throwing wacky meds at me to try and help me out.
But I'm not overwhelmed.
Tuesday, May 8, 2012
Childhood Memories: Rocks Edition
My memory to share today involves rocks and imaginative play. My kids were playing store the other day and it made me remember something that I've remembered from time to time over the years. I'm pretty sure my brother would be the only one to verify the factualness of these events.
I remember when I was young my brother and I would play store with rocks outside. We would take crayons out and find big rocks and write what type of merchandise they were. For instance, one might say microwave, one might say radio, etc. Then we would use smaller rocks as money (not sure if we wrote amounts on them or not.) We would take turns using our "money" and deciding what we wanted to buy.
It sounds incredibly dorky, but we lived out in the country and weren't inundated with useless toys, so we kind of had to make our own fun where we could. Much different than these days when you can buy play money at the dollar tree. When my kids were playing store, I was going to tell them they could use rocks as money and one of them held up these big fake play coins they had and said, "but we have money to play with." Ah, yes... hard times our kids live in.
I remember when I was young my brother and I would play store with rocks outside. We would take crayons out and find big rocks and write what type of merchandise they were. For instance, one might say microwave, one might say radio, etc. Then we would use smaller rocks as money (not sure if we wrote amounts on them or not.) We would take turns using our "money" and deciding what we wanted to buy.
It sounds incredibly dorky, but we lived out in the country and weren't inundated with useless toys, so we kind of had to make our own fun where we could. Much different than these days when you can buy play money at the dollar tree. When my kids were playing store, I was going to tell them they could use rocks as money and one of them held up these big fake play coins they had and said, "but we have money to play with." Ah, yes... hard times our kids live in.
Monday, May 7, 2012
Childhood Memories
Oftentimes I find myself thinking back about things I remember from when I was young. The funny thing is that nine times out of ten if I run the memories by my parents or siblings, they don't think it happened or that it was a figment of my imagination. But if that were the case, why would we remember them so vividly, especially if they were just mundane experiences?
Well, here's my theory. Each of us is impacted differently by our experiences in life. Perhaps something that I held onto was more important to me than one of my siblings who doesn't remember the event happening. Likewise, my parents have four kids worth of memories plus all the years of memories that they didn't have children. So, it would make perfect sense that they wouldn't remember every little detail and event that their children do.
I'm not a big fan of being wrong, and these are memories that I've had for YEARS, not just some random thing that popped into my head and I was like, "oh, yeah, I think I remember something like that happening." No, these feel like genuine memories. So, in that line of thinking, I've decided to start sharing some of these memories with my readers. But, my point in all this is that they may or may not be disputed by the other parties involved. Of course I think they are valid, but chances are, I'm the only one. They will hereto be referred to as "Childhood Memories: ***** Edition."
Happy Monday!!!
Well, here's my theory. Each of us is impacted differently by our experiences in life. Perhaps something that I held onto was more important to me than one of my siblings who doesn't remember the event happening. Likewise, my parents have four kids worth of memories plus all the years of memories that they didn't have children. So, it would make perfect sense that they wouldn't remember every little detail and event that their children do.
I'm not a big fan of being wrong, and these are memories that I've had for YEARS, not just some random thing that popped into my head and I was like, "oh, yeah, I think I remember something like that happening." No, these feel like genuine memories. So, in that line of thinking, I've decided to start sharing some of these memories with my readers. But, my point in all this is that they may or may not be disputed by the other parties involved. Of course I think they are valid, but chances are, I'm the only one. They will hereto be referred to as "Childhood Memories: ***** Edition."
Happy Monday!!!
Thursday, April 19, 2012
The Little Things...
I consider myself to be pretty independent. I don't think I ask for help much and if I do, believe me, I have to swallow quite a lot of pride to do so. I also think that people can't learn to do for themselves if they rely on others all the time.
However, I have come to realize that unasked for help can be the most appreciated! When someone does something completely unexpected to help you out, it's gotta be one of the best feelings in the world. I've often thought of how amazing it would be if I came home from work one day and the house was spotless- dusted, vacuumed, picked up, dishes done, bathroom cleaned, you name it. Because there's always SOMETHING that needs to be done. I look at my tub and think, "crud, I need to clean that." I see dishes start to pile up and think, "crud, I need to do those." Messes that have to be picked up, leaves needing raked, yard needing mowed... oh, how the list goes on and on.
Well, don't get me wrong, my SO David is one of the most helpful guys I've met. Yes, he does dishes, he'll clean, etc., but usually I watch him do it, so that's not quite as exciting as coming home to it. And if I asked him to do something, he'd do it!
Getting to my point: in my years of living on my own (and being with my ex-husband) whenever something needed fixed, I usually tried to do it myself if I could. Now, I wouldn't even attempt to do massive plumbing or fix major car troubles. But if I can google how to do something and it doesn't seem like rocket science, I'll try. I've changed flat tires, spark plugs in the lawnmower, fixed toilets, leaky faucets and replaced a couple car batteries.
But yesterday was a first for me and I can't tell you how good it felt to have someone else do something for me because they wanted to. My car has been having problems starting and the theory was that it needed a new battery. I got stranded at work on Monday and my car was parked there a couple days. So yesterday, David (with the help of his dad) went to the town where it was parked and replaced it with a new one! I didn't have to go along, I didn't have to do anything! A couple hours later, sweetness, my car was parked in the garage, good as new!
The feeling of knowing something like that got done without me having to lift a finger was equivalent to a week of people cooking dinner for me (not that I know what that feels like since moving out of my parents house, lol)! I am so appreciative for that "small" thing that I did not have to participate in whatsoever.
And it's the little things like that that truly show how a little helping hand goes a long way.
However, I have come to realize that unasked for help can be the most appreciated! When someone does something completely unexpected to help you out, it's gotta be one of the best feelings in the world. I've often thought of how amazing it would be if I came home from work one day and the house was spotless- dusted, vacuumed, picked up, dishes done, bathroom cleaned, you name it. Because there's always SOMETHING that needs to be done. I look at my tub and think, "crud, I need to clean that." I see dishes start to pile up and think, "crud, I need to do those." Messes that have to be picked up, leaves needing raked, yard needing mowed... oh, how the list goes on and on.
Well, don't get me wrong, my SO David is one of the most helpful guys I've met. Yes, he does dishes, he'll clean, etc., but usually I watch him do it, so that's not quite as exciting as coming home to it. And if I asked him to do something, he'd do it!
Getting to my point: in my years of living on my own (and being with my ex-husband) whenever something needed fixed, I usually tried to do it myself if I could. Now, I wouldn't even attempt to do massive plumbing or fix major car troubles. But if I can google how to do something and it doesn't seem like rocket science, I'll try. I've changed flat tires, spark plugs in the lawnmower, fixed toilets, leaky faucets and replaced a couple car batteries.
But yesterday was a first for me and I can't tell you how good it felt to have someone else do something for me because they wanted to. My car has been having problems starting and the theory was that it needed a new battery. I got stranded at work on Monday and my car was parked there a couple days. So yesterday, David (with the help of his dad) went to the town where it was parked and replaced it with a new one! I didn't have to go along, I didn't have to do anything! A couple hours later, sweetness, my car was parked in the garage, good as new!
The feeling of knowing something like that got done without me having to lift a finger was equivalent to a week of people cooking dinner for me (not that I know what that feels like since moving out of my parents house, lol)! I am so appreciative for that "small" thing that I did not have to participate in whatsoever.
And it's the little things like that that truly show how a little helping hand goes a long way.
Wednesday, April 11, 2012
Fingers Crossed?
I feel completely torn about something.
I was asked to teach a class this summer at work and of course I said yes. At the time, I'm pretty sure I knew that I was pregnant, but my memory is awful, so I don't remember. Being my third, I know what it's like to juggle responsibilities and a baby. I also know that within about a week of giving birth I was ready to take on the world! So, unless for some reason I ended up with a c-section, I don't imagine having to take more than a week off. My job isn't physically demanding and equates to sitting at home talking for a couple hours.
Now, here comes the ambivalence. The closer it gets, the more I'm hoping the class gets canceled. I don't want to leave the baby with a stranger right away (if I have to at all) and I can't rely on family to babysit. Plus my older kids would have to go to daycare and paying for 3 kids in daycare would pretty much wipe out my entire paycheck! So, it would make the most sense for me not to teach the class.
But here's my one reason to teach it: I don't want to look bad to my boss. I'm afraid if I turn it down or say I can't do it that I will come across as unreliable and it will affect his offering me more classes down the road. I'm only an adjunct, so there is no real job security for me. Plus, I know it would put him in a bind finding someone else to teach it.
HOWEVER, he told me that for the class to stay on the schedule there have to be 8 students enrolled. Right now there are 2 and summer classes start May 30. So I kinda feel like I'm secretly keeping my fingers crossed that I won't have enough students enrolled. But then I feel like that's wrong of me. YOU can keep your fingers crossed for me though... and if you don't tell me, I won't have to feel bad!
What would you do if you were me?
I was asked to teach a class this summer at work and of course I said yes. At the time, I'm pretty sure I knew that I was pregnant, but my memory is awful, so I don't remember. Being my third, I know what it's like to juggle responsibilities and a baby. I also know that within about a week of giving birth I was ready to take on the world! So, unless for some reason I ended up with a c-section, I don't imagine having to take more than a week off. My job isn't physically demanding and equates to sitting at home talking for a couple hours.
Now, here comes the ambivalence. The closer it gets, the more I'm hoping the class gets canceled. I don't want to leave the baby with a stranger right away (if I have to at all) and I can't rely on family to babysit. Plus my older kids would have to go to daycare and paying for 3 kids in daycare would pretty much wipe out my entire paycheck! So, it would make the most sense for me not to teach the class.
But here's my one reason to teach it: I don't want to look bad to my boss. I'm afraid if I turn it down or say I can't do it that I will come across as unreliable and it will affect his offering me more classes down the road. I'm only an adjunct, so there is no real job security for me. Plus, I know it would put him in a bind finding someone else to teach it.
HOWEVER, he told me that for the class to stay on the schedule there have to be 8 students enrolled. Right now there are 2 and summer classes start May 30. So I kinda feel like I'm secretly keeping my fingers crossed that I won't have enough students enrolled. But then I feel like that's wrong of me. YOU can keep your fingers crossed for me though... and if you don't tell me, I won't have to feel bad!
What would you do if you were me?
Tuesday, February 14, 2012
All the Single Ladies
I think the way people feel about Valentine's Day can be fit into 3 categories:
1) They could care less and it's just another day.
2) They think it is a wonderful way to celebrate love with somebody special.
3) They are bitter about being alone and therefore refuse to even log onto Facebook because just seeing the words "love" or "Valentine's Day" sends them running for a box of tissues and a bucket of junk food.
I'd like to talk about the third category. I'll be honest, the major reason I use Facebook is to stalk people. I'm intrigued by human nature, by sociology, by psychology, by the number of people that dumbfound me on a daily basis. I do get some good chuckles here and there from funny pics, but mostly I just like to people watch... Facebook style.
Well, I'm FB friends with A LOT of single people. The majority of whom never say a peep about it, it's just a fact of life. But then I have a select few who complain about being single quite a bit. They ponder why no one wants them, they talk about how depressing and lonely life can be when you're a party of one. And then Valentine's Day comes and they either rant or avoid Facebook the whole day.
My view on Valentine's Day is this: it's kind of like your birthday, but thankfully you're not turning another year older. The jist is that your loved ones will be nice to you on this day because it's a special occasion- just like on your birthday. You get gifts- just like on your birthday. I was with someone for 10 years that didn't believe in celebrating Valentine's Day. I was okay with it. This year I actually had to google whether or not the girl is supposed to buy the guy a gift. I don't know the rules. (If you're wondering, etiquette says that she can, but it has to be small potatoes so as not to overshadow his gift.) And the thought of receiving an expensive gift makes me cringe. I am not a great gift receiver, because frankly, if I want something, I buy it for myself. Opening presents in front of people is nerve wracking. I'd be happy with flowers and not getting yelled at for a day- that's would be my ideal gift. (Or a puppy.)
Anyway, back to the single ladies. I like to think that I think like a guy sometimes. And other times, I will ask guys their opinions... but it seems as though the last thing that is going to attract a guy is complaining about being single on Facebook. I HAD a friend who is my friend no longer that would talk often on FB about how she was ready to be in love again, ready for a long term relationship... unless you're looking for Captain Desperate, most guys are not willing to come running to your door because you are looking for a husband. Supposedly, men like a challenge...
I don't know, I probably sound super condescending and judgmental. I'm sure the rebuttals I will get (of course not out loud) will be that I wouldn't know because I'm not single on Valentine's Day or that I'm a Capital B who doesn't know what I'm talking about, but come on... it's okay to do a little self reflection- heck, I do it every day! I know what rejection feels like. I also know how to smile and pretend it doesn't hurt. I know what it's like to think someone is going to acknowledge you on Valentine's Day, but then they don't and you find out later they went on a date with someone else. And that's why you always have a back up plan of your own!! I also know what it's like to be sad because you realize you have never received flowers at work. Luckily, some random guy (hi, random guy!) sends you a dozen white roses at work one day because he thinks you seem like a chica who should get flowers at work.
Moral of story: don't be bitter because you're alone on Valentine's Day. Be bitter because you're letting the world know that you're bitter. It's just a day. It's a day where we fatten the purses of all these corporations that are probably run by old men who cheat on their wives and pay for hookers on the side. I have two kids that prohibit me from going out and doing anything, but I chose to pop those suckers out, so I will acknowledge them today as well! It's all about sharing love, not about who does or doesn't love you back.
1) They could care less and it's just another day.
2) They think it is a wonderful way to celebrate love with somebody special.
3) They are bitter about being alone and therefore refuse to even log onto Facebook because just seeing the words "love" or "Valentine's Day" sends them running for a box of tissues and a bucket of junk food.
I'd like to talk about the third category. I'll be honest, the major reason I use Facebook is to stalk people. I'm intrigued by human nature, by sociology, by psychology, by the number of people that dumbfound me on a daily basis. I do get some good chuckles here and there from funny pics, but mostly I just like to people watch... Facebook style.
Well, I'm FB friends with A LOT of single people. The majority of whom never say a peep about it, it's just a fact of life. But then I have a select few who complain about being single quite a bit. They ponder why no one wants them, they talk about how depressing and lonely life can be when you're a party of one. And then Valentine's Day comes and they either rant or avoid Facebook the whole day.
My view on Valentine's Day is this: it's kind of like your birthday, but thankfully you're not turning another year older. The jist is that your loved ones will be nice to you on this day because it's a special occasion- just like on your birthday. You get gifts- just like on your birthday. I was with someone for 10 years that didn't believe in celebrating Valentine's Day. I was okay with it. This year I actually had to google whether or not the girl is supposed to buy the guy a gift. I don't know the rules. (If you're wondering, etiquette says that she can, but it has to be small potatoes so as not to overshadow his gift.) And the thought of receiving an expensive gift makes me cringe. I am not a great gift receiver, because frankly, if I want something, I buy it for myself. Opening presents in front of people is nerve wracking. I'd be happy with flowers and not getting yelled at for a day- that's would be my ideal gift. (Or a puppy.)
Anyway, back to the single ladies. I like to think that I think like a guy sometimes. And other times, I will ask guys their opinions... but it seems as though the last thing that is going to attract a guy is complaining about being single on Facebook. I HAD a friend who is my friend no longer that would talk often on FB about how she was ready to be in love again, ready for a long term relationship... unless you're looking for Captain Desperate, most guys are not willing to come running to your door because you are looking for a husband. Supposedly, men like a challenge...
I don't know, I probably sound super condescending and judgmental. I'm sure the rebuttals I will get (of course not out loud) will be that I wouldn't know because I'm not single on Valentine's Day or that I'm a Capital B who doesn't know what I'm talking about, but come on... it's okay to do a little self reflection- heck, I do it every day! I know what rejection feels like. I also know how to smile and pretend it doesn't hurt. I know what it's like to think someone is going to acknowledge you on Valentine's Day, but then they don't and you find out later they went on a date with someone else. And that's why you always have a back up plan of your own!! I also know what it's like to be sad because you realize you have never received flowers at work. Luckily, some random guy (hi, random guy!) sends you a dozen white roses at work one day because he thinks you seem like a chica who should get flowers at work.
Moral of story: don't be bitter because you're alone on Valentine's Day. Be bitter because you're letting the world know that you're bitter. It's just a day. It's a day where we fatten the purses of all these corporations that are probably run by old men who cheat on their wives and pay for hookers on the side. I have two kids that prohibit me from going out and doing anything, but I chose to pop those suckers out, so I will acknowledge them today as well! It's all about sharing love, not about who does or doesn't love you back.
Wednesday, February 1, 2012
Two Pieces of Financial Advice
If I could give the world two pieces of financial advice that you should never deviate from and always follow, it would be the following:
1) ALWAYS GET A RECEIPT: One of my students in class today was upset because she said she paid her tuition with cash and they are saying she didn't pay. Whether she did or didn't, she said she didn't get or ask for a receipt. Ooooooh, people... unless you are paying with a check (and it wouldn't hurt even then), you should ALWAYS ask for a receipt, in fact, demand one. In this world, it's unfortunate, but you really can't trust anyone when it comes to money. And you also never know when the receipt will come in handy. People forget they got paid, people lie about getting paid. And if someone refuses to give a receipt, that's shady and they don't deserve your money. Even if you pay in money order and have the money order receipt, those can get rather tricky to track and you paid for them with cash, so it's best to get a receipt for those as well.
2) NEVER ACCEPT PERSONAL CHECKS: No way, no how! I don't care if it's your best friend, don't accept a personal check. Hard times happen. Good people don't intend for checks to bounce. Things just happen and whether it was an oversight, your friend didn't get their paycheck when they were supposed to, things happen. I don't know too many people that are so well off they can just leave checks lying around for weeks and not cash them. We all need to get paid, we all rely on getting paid, so when a check we accept doesn't clear, a snowball effect happens and pretty soon your house is being foreclosed upon and your car is being repo'd. Accepting business checks tends to be a little safer because most businesses are on good enough terms with their banks that if there is an overdraft, the bank will cover it. And unless you hear rumors your employer is going out of business, payroll checks are generally the safest.
Tip: An addendum to this would be that if you do find yourself receiving a check you're wary of, only accept a local one and take it immediately to the bank it was DRAWN ON and get cash for it. That way you are not liable for fees through your bank if it bounces, it is all put back on the account of the person who wrote the check.
Anyway, I don't often have words of wisdom, but these are a couple that I think everyone should learn!!!!
1) ALWAYS GET A RECEIPT: One of my students in class today was upset because she said she paid her tuition with cash and they are saying she didn't pay. Whether she did or didn't, she said she didn't get or ask for a receipt. Ooooooh, people... unless you are paying with a check (and it wouldn't hurt even then), you should ALWAYS ask for a receipt, in fact, demand one. In this world, it's unfortunate, but you really can't trust anyone when it comes to money. And you also never know when the receipt will come in handy. People forget they got paid, people lie about getting paid. And if someone refuses to give a receipt, that's shady and they don't deserve your money. Even if you pay in money order and have the money order receipt, those can get rather tricky to track and you paid for them with cash, so it's best to get a receipt for those as well.
2) NEVER ACCEPT PERSONAL CHECKS: No way, no how! I don't care if it's your best friend, don't accept a personal check. Hard times happen. Good people don't intend for checks to bounce. Things just happen and whether it was an oversight, your friend didn't get their paycheck when they were supposed to, things happen. I don't know too many people that are so well off they can just leave checks lying around for weeks and not cash them. We all need to get paid, we all rely on getting paid, so when a check we accept doesn't clear, a snowball effect happens and pretty soon your house is being foreclosed upon and your car is being repo'd. Accepting business checks tends to be a little safer because most businesses are on good enough terms with their banks that if there is an overdraft, the bank will cover it. And unless you hear rumors your employer is going out of business, payroll checks are generally the safest.
Tip: An addendum to this would be that if you do find yourself receiving a check you're wary of, only accept a local one and take it immediately to the bank it was DRAWN ON and get cash for it. That way you are not liable for fees through your bank if it bounces, it is all put back on the account of the person who wrote the check.
Anyway, I don't often have words of wisdom, but these are a couple that I think everyone should learn!!!!
Monday, December 19, 2011
I Can Be Proud of Myself
All my life, the only person who ever made me genuinely feel like they were proud of me was my Grandma J. She would tell me everytime she saw me and I could feel that she really meant it. On one other occasion out of the blue my ex grandfather-in-law told me he was proud of me because he was amazed by my wealth of computer knowledge and my ability to teach it to him. That was a great moment for me. Aside from that, the only time anyone has really told me they were proud of me was when I told them this story and they'd say, "well of course WE are proud of you too." Yeah, that doesn't count.
I spent about the first 28 years of my life worrying about what other people thought about my choices and decisions, only to have them be unsupportive and over-critical.
When I decided to leave my husband, you'd think I had just murdered someone. Apparently being unhappy your entire life is more important than the "shame" of being divorced. Someone once told me that it is better for children to "come from a broken home than to live in one." I definitely agree with this. I want to provide a positive role model for my children and I want them to know that they don't have to suffer their whole lives if they are unhappy just because some people put a negative connotation on divorce. I want my daughter to become strong and independent and realize that her life doesn't need to revolve around men. She can accomplish anything she wants in life by herself. I want my son to grow up in a positive environment to break the cycle of anger and treating women as second class citizens.
If this makes me a selfish demon, that is NOT my opinion of the situation. As you know if you follow my blog regularly, you know that in August I was offered a job to teach at a community college. I couldn't believe it. I have wanted to teach since I was a child, but I could never put my finger on what age I wanted to teach until I actually went to community college and it was my best educational experience by far. The people actually are choosing to be there and although I like kids, it's nice not having to teach these students right from wrong.
I absolutely LOVE my job. Sure, I'd love to do a million other things as well, but I would never want to not teach. I achieved this job because I went to school and chose to pay attention in my classes. I finished my associates in two years, while working and paying for classes out of my own pocket. When I finished my bachelor my daughter was 1 and my daughter was 3. I started my masters the fall after that.
I could have been like many other people I knew and chosen to party and drink and then later drop out. I could have decided that having kids meant I had to wait until they were grown and gone to finish my education. But I didn't.
And how are my kids now? AWESOME! Sure, being 6 and 4 they have their issues, but no more so than any other kid. They smile all the time, they laugh, they're happy, they love being around other kids, they are soooo loving and are constant affirmations that I am making good choices with my life.
So, to draw this to a close: two years ago I realized that there was no point in living my life to try to meet up to someone else's standards. I wanted to be happy, I wanted my children to have a positive life experience and I wanted us to enjoy our life together. I am proud of myself and I don't need anyone else to be proud of me. And that's a good feeling.
I spent about the first 28 years of my life worrying about what other people thought about my choices and decisions, only to have them be unsupportive and over-critical.
When I decided to leave my husband, you'd think I had just murdered someone. Apparently being unhappy your entire life is more important than the "shame" of being divorced. Someone once told me that it is better for children to "come from a broken home than to live in one." I definitely agree with this. I want to provide a positive role model for my children and I want them to know that they don't have to suffer their whole lives if they are unhappy just because some people put a negative connotation on divorce. I want my daughter to become strong and independent and realize that her life doesn't need to revolve around men. She can accomplish anything she wants in life by herself. I want my son to grow up in a positive environment to break the cycle of anger and treating women as second class citizens.
If this makes me a selfish demon, that is NOT my opinion of the situation. As you know if you follow my blog regularly, you know that in August I was offered a job to teach at a community college. I couldn't believe it. I have wanted to teach since I was a child, but I could never put my finger on what age I wanted to teach until I actually went to community college and it was my best educational experience by far. The people actually are choosing to be there and although I like kids, it's nice not having to teach these students right from wrong.
I absolutely LOVE my job. Sure, I'd love to do a million other things as well, but I would never want to not teach. I achieved this job because I went to school and chose to pay attention in my classes. I finished my associates in two years, while working and paying for classes out of my own pocket. When I finished my bachelor my daughter was 1 and my daughter was 3. I started my masters the fall after that.
I could have been like many other people I knew and chosen to party and drink and then later drop out. I could have decided that having kids meant I had to wait until they were grown and gone to finish my education. But I didn't.
And how are my kids now? AWESOME! Sure, being 6 and 4 they have their issues, but no more so than any other kid. They smile all the time, they laugh, they're happy, they love being around other kids, they are soooo loving and are constant affirmations that I am making good choices with my life.
So, to draw this to a close: two years ago I realized that there was no point in living my life to try to meet up to someone else's standards. I wanted to be happy, I wanted my children to have a positive life experience and I wanted us to enjoy our life together. I am proud of myself and I don't need anyone else to be proud of me. And that's a good feeling.
Monday, November 14, 2011
No Shirt for You!
I apologize for yet another post about friendship. This is just something that is really getting under my skin and I have to vent to someone, anyone... which leaves the one or two people who may read this.
I consider myself to be a good friend. If you are in need, I will give you anything I can to help. I try to be there whenever someone asks, and unless I can't afford the gas to get there, I drop everything to be there. I know there are a couple instances I may have borrowed things and not returned them, but I am either still intending to (money) or we stopped being friends and I stopped caring about returning something and ended up passing it along to someone else.
There have been times when I had $20 to my name and spent it buying a friend groceries. I've helped people move, I've FOUND people places to move! I've given countless hours of requested advice and kept my mouth shut at times I knew it wasn't my place to say anything. I've taken a friend's word only to be stabbed in the back, I've trusted people that shouldn't be trusted...
And yet again, I reiterate that I know that I'm not perfect.
But what bothers me is this: I have a couple friends who have been my friends for years. I can't get them to answer my texts... I can't get them to respond to me on Facebook unless I post something on their wall. I don't know why, that's just how it is. I have people that used to be my friends, but now won't even be my friend on Facebook for something that I can't even remember that I did to upset them. I know I shouldn't care because they are obviously not real friends, but I do care. You know those people that you call when you are super upset about something and need a shoulder to cry on? I don't have one of those. I wish so badly that I did, but I don't. I have people that call me and rant or cry for hours and I listen. *sigh* I just feel like everyone should have SOMEONE they can turn to for comfort, joy, a laugh, a girls' night out, whatever it may be...
So I don't know if this is a shame on me for whatever I may have done wrong, a shame on me for giving second, third, fiftieth chances and holding out hope that my friends are better than they actually are... or is it actually a shame on them... for being crappy friends?
I consider myself to be a good friend. If you are in need, I will give you anything I can to help. I try to be there whenever someone asks, and unless I can't afford the gas to get there, I drop everything to be there. I know there are a couple instances I may have borrowed things and not returned them, but I am either still intending to (money) or we stopped being friends and I stopped caring about returning something and ended up passing it along to someone else.
There have been times when I had $20 to my name and spent it buying a friend groceries. I've helped people move, I've FOUND people places to move! I've given countless hours of requested advice and kept my mouth shut at times I knew it wasn't my place to say anything. I've taken a friend's word only to be stabbed in the back, I've trusted people that shouldn't be trusted...
And yet again, I reiterate that I know that I'm not perfect.
But what bothers me is this: I have a couple friends who have been my friends for years. I can't get them to answer my texts... I can't get them to respond to me on Facebook unless I post something on their wall. I don't know why, that's just how it is. I have people that used to be my friends, but now won't even be my friend on Facebook for something that I can't even remember that I did to upset them. I know I shouldn't care because they are obviously not real friends, but I do care. You know those people that you call when you are super upset about something and need a shoulder to cry on? I don't have one of those. I wish so badly that I did, but I don't. I have people that call me and rant or cry for hours and I listen. *sigh* I just feel like everyone should have SOMEONE they can turn to for comfort, joy, a laugh, a girls' night out, whatever it may be...
So I don't know if this is a shame on me for whatever I may have done wrong, a shame on me for giving second, third, fiftieth chances and holding out hope that my friends are better than they actually are... or is it actually a shame on them... for being crappy friends?
Monday, November 7, 2011
A Case of the Blahs
I don't know what my deal is lately- I don't think that it is because winter is coming and people get that seasonal depression thing because the weather has actually been unseasonably nice here and I do love the holidays, so I have that to look forward to.
But lately, I just feel so blah. I love my job, but I don't feel like going to work because it seems mundane. I do go, but I feel like I'm boring my students and sometimes when I talk about whatever subject we're on a little voice pops into my head saying, "geez, I can't even focus on what you're saying it's so boring!"
Then there's my blog. I have a whole bunch of things I could be blogging about, topics floating around in my head, but I just don't feel like it. I don't think I'd have the zip and zest in my writing that I feel like I should.
I usually post status updates on Facebook a couple times a day... but lately I've gone days without.... it's blah. I don't have anything witty or interesting to tell the world. I'm blah.
Nothing seems exciting, every day is just like the last... I'm not in the least trying to say I have a crappy life- quite the opposite, things are going so well in my favor that I should really take the time to sit back and enjoy it! But I can't... cause I'm blah.
BLAH.
But lately, I just feel so blah. I love my job, but I don't feel like going to work because it seems mundane. I do go, but I feel like I'm boring my students and sometimes when I talk about whatever subject we're on a little voice pops into my head saying, "geez, I can't even focus on what you're saying it's so boring!"
Then there's my blog. I have a whole bunch of things I could be blogging about, topics floating around in my head, but I just don't feel like it. I don't think I'd have the zip and zest in my writing that I feel like I should.
I usually post status updates on Facebook a couple times a day... but lately I've gone days without.... it's blah. I don't have anything witty or interesting to tell the world. I'm blah.
Nothing seems exciting, every day is just like the last... I'm not in the least trying to say I have a crappy life- quite the opposite, things are going so well in my favor that I should really take the time to sit back and enjoy it! But I can't... cause I'm blah.
BLAH.
Wednesday, September 7, 2011
What a Difference a Day Makes!!
Despite the whole bipolar thing, I see myself as a glass full kind of gal. I totally abhor suicide because people have to realize that life CAN get better, you just have to work at it. Of course, I know that not every bad thing in life is specifically that person's fault... believe me, I KNOW. I always say that the bad things that have happened to me in life are because of other people. That probably sounds like I don't take the blame for anything, believe me I do! If I don't have money for gas and I don't work, duh, it's my fault I don't have money for gas! But if I don't have money for gas because Jen Schirm of Iowa City didn't pay me the $150 she owed me for babysitting... well, then I blame Jen Schirm. (Of course I can be partially to blame for trusting someone who couldn't be trusted.)
So, rewind to yesterday. Not to get into details, but when we moved into our apartment, the lady that manages the property we moved into said that she wouldn't cash our deposit until close to Sept. 9th because that's when we'd be caught up from moving. She even talked us into moving sooner than we had planned because she kept insisting the check wouldn't get cashed until the 9th. Well, guess what. Yesterday was soooo not the 9th and the check got deducted from my bank account, which immediately ruined my day. Once again, I suppose I can take blame for trusting someone... am I beginning to see a pattern here? Wow, I just had an epiphany... bad things happen to me when I trust people. Aha! Now I know why I say you can never trust anyone.
Fast forward back to today. A deposit came in sooner than I had anticipated, which covered the check that was cashed yesterday! That immediately put me in a much better mood. And I sat there and realized, you know, I have two awesome kids who are with me 98% of the time, I have a fantastic boyfriend who loves me endlessly, I have friends that occasionally talk to me, I just got a part in a play, which is one of my favorite things to do AND, I love my job!!! So dang it, I tell myself, I need to start looking more at the positives than the negatives. Sure, David tells me that all you need is love... well, I don't know that living in a cardboard box with my kids eating rats is really going to make me happy, but I appreciate his sentiment.
So for today, it's a good day and I'm loving life!!!
So, rewind to yesterday. Not to get into details, but when we moved into our apartment, the lady that manages the property we moved into said that she wouldn't cash our deposit until close to Sept. 9th because that's when we'd be caught up from moving. She even talked us into moving sooner than we had planned because she kept insisting the check wouldn't get cashed until the 9th. Well, guess what. Yesterday was soooo not the 9th and the check got deducted from my bank account, which immediately ruined my day. Once again, I suppose I can take blame for trusting someone... am I beginning to see a pattern here? Wow, I just had an epiphany... bad things happen to me when I trust people. Aha! Now I know why I say you can never trust anyone.
Fast forward back to today. A deposit came in sooner than I had anticipated, which covered the check that was cashed yesterday! That immediately put me in a much better mood. And I sat there and realized, you know, I have two awesome kids who are with me 98% of the time, I have a fantastic boyfriend who loves me endlessly, I have friends that occasionally talk to me, I just got a part in a play, which is one of my favorite things to do AND, I love my job!!! So dang it, I tell myself, I need to start looking more at the positives than the negatives. Sure, David tells me that all you need is love... well, I don't know that living in a cardboard box with my kids eating rats is really going to make me happy, but I appreciate his sentiment.
So for today, it's a good day and I'm loving life!!!
Thursday, September 1, 2011
I LOOOOVE My Job!
So to catch you up to speed, I was offered a teaching job at a community college near my hometown. David and I had already planned to move to this town and were planning on a January move. I had forgotten I had even applied at the college. Well, classes were to start on August 17. I was called and offered the job August 10. It wasn't even one of the jobs I applied for! Apparently, there were so many students enrolled in the developmental English class that they needed to add two more sections. The dean who hired me sifted through the applications and resumes until he found one that would suit his purpose and it was me, yay!
I am now an adjunct teacher, which means that I am only contracted one semester at a time and I don't teach a full load. I teach two classes a day. Each class lasts an hour. So if you did the math, yep, I work two hours a day. But, being as ambitious and dedicated as I am, I actually stay on campus about 4.5 hours a day. I use the time in between classes to work with students, grade papers and work on my lesson plans. I absolutely love my job! I would probably do it for free if they asked me to... I hope they don't, though.
So, David, the kids and I moved from Cedar Rapids to this new town. I'm going to refrain from saying it because I was less likely to get stalked and murdered in Cedar Rapids than I am in this town as it is much much smaller. So far, we love where we live, but are a bit disappointed in that most of this people in this town seem like a$$holes. Well, I haven't experienced it as much as David has. People from here just tend to be a little on the snooty and holier than thou side. But, I have met so many nice people that it doesn't dissuade me from liking the town overall. We are located in a great area and it is only about 5 minutes from my work, A's school and L's babysitter.
Yep, I had to start L at a babysitter. He so far loves it, which takes a huge burden off my mind. I also plan to start substitute teaching on Fridays once everyone gets settled and into a routine. I love subbing as well.
Okay, well that's my update. I'm going to be chomping at the bit for September to get over because the cost of the move set us back quite a bit and now we have a lot of catching up to do. That and the fact that Jen Schirm of Iowa City never paid me the babysitting money that she owed me AND she has some of my DVDs. I still need to figure out how to file a lawsuit.
I will update you as needed!!
I am now an adjunct teacher, which means that I am only contracted one semester at a time and I don't teach a full load. I teach two classes a day. Each class lasts an hour. So if you did the math, yep, I work two hours a day. But, being as ambitious and dedicated as I am, I actually stay on campus about 4.5 hours a day. I use the time in between classes to work with students, grade papers and work on my lesson plans. I absolutely love my job! I would probably do it for free if they asked me to... I hope they don't, though.
So, David, the kids and I moved from Cedar Rapids to this new town. I'm going to refrain from saying it because I was less likely to get stalked and murdered in Cedar Rapids than I am in this town as it is much much smaller. So far, we love where we live, but are a bit disappointed in that most of this people in this town seem like a$$holes. Well, I haven't experienced it as much as David has. People from here just tend to be a little on the snooty and holier than thou side. But, I have met so many nice people that it doesn't dissuade me from liking the town overall. We are located in a great area and it is only about 5 minutes from my work, A's school and L's babysitter.
Yep, I had to start L at a babysitter. He so far loves it, which takes a huge burden off my mind. I also plan to start substitute teaching on Fridays once everyone gets settled and into a routine. I love subbing as well.
Okay, well that's my update. I'm going to be chomping at the bit for September to get over because the cost of the move set us back quite a bit and now we have a lot of catching up to do. That and the fact that Jen Schirm of Iowa City never paid me the babysitting money that she owed me AND she has some of my DVDs. I still need to figure out how to file a lawsuit.
I will update you as needed!!
Monday, August 15, 2011
You've Lost That Loving Feeling
Okay, so this is nothing new. Everyone knows about this, but today I am choosing to bring it up because it is on my mind...
You know when you first start developing feelings for someone? You're giddy, your pulse raises when you first see them, their kiss gives you butterflies, you think about them all the time when they are not around... well, why can't that last forever? Why can't we be lovey dovey for life? If you're sappy like me, then you see old people walking and holding hands and think, "I'd love for that to be me some day." I think that is why so many people get divorced these days. Well, this and the fact that people don't like putting up with anyone else's $hit. I'd like to believe that every couple has these aforementioned feelings at some point in their relationship, if not, that is really sad. But, why do these feelings go away? Why can't we still get butterflies and racing pulses and googly eyes? Is it because once people get comfortable with each other, they no longer feel the need to try?
You know what gets me the most about that old couple holding hands? They have been holding hands their whole lives! I don't think a couple gets to be 80 and all of the sudden decides to start holding hands. No, they have always realized what the other one means to them and they hold on to them because they never want to let them go. Well, dammit, I wanna be holding hands with someone! I wanna be snuggling with someone instead of arguing with them over who cleans more, why we shouldn't keep the cats, who wastes more money, why one of us used to be an alcoholic... and so on and so forth. I want to sit on the same side of the couch instead of polar opposite and co-existing through life. I want to spoon in bed instead of facing the opposite direction and lying on the edge of the bed.
What does it mean when people lose that loving feeling? Does that mean they are no longer in love? Is it a feeling that you can get back? I'm not saying I'm perfect, far from it! I know some of the arguments are my fault too. And I know that sometimes the lack of affection can be from me being mad and withholding it. But, I refuse to believe that a relationship has to be boring and vanilla. I refuse to spend another decade of my life drifting through with a roommate. I don't know what to do to get it back or if I should just jump ship now and enjoy being free. Why can't things just be easy??
You know when you first start developing feelings for someone? You're giddy, your pulse raises when you first see them, their kiss gives you butterflies, you think about them all the time when they are not around... well, why can't that last forever? Why can't we be lovey dovey for life? If you're sappy like me, then you see old people walking and holding hands and think, "I'd love for that to be me some day." I think that is why so many people get divorced these days. Well, this and the fact that people don't like putting up with anyone else's $hit. I'd like to believe that every couple has these aforementioned feelings at some point in their relationship, if not, that is really sad. But, why do these feelings go away? Why can't we still get butterflies and racing pulses and googly eyes? Is it because once people get comfortable with each other, they no longer feel the need to try?
You know what gets me the most about that old couple holding hands? They have been holding hands their whole lives! I don't think a couple gets to be 80 and all of the sudden decides to start holding hands. No, they have always realized what the other one means to them and they hold on to them because they never want to let them go. Well, dammit, I wanna be holding hands with someone! I wanna be snuggling with someone instead of arguing with them over who cleans more, why we shouldn't keep the cats, who wastes more money, why one of us used to be an alcoholic... and so on and so forth. I want to sit on the same side of the couch instead of polar opposite and co-existing through life. I want to spoon in bed instead of facing the opposite direction and lying on the edge of the bed.
What does it mean when people lose that loving feeling? Does that mean they are no longer in love? Is it a feeling that you can get back? I'm not saying I'm perfect, far from it! I know some of the arguments are my fault too. And I know that sometimes the lack of affection can be from me being mad and withholding it. But, I refuse to believe that a relationship has to be boring and vanilla. I refuse to spend another decade of my life drifting through with a roommate. I don't know what to do to get it back or if I should just jump ship now and enjoy being free. Why can't things just be easy??
Wednesday, August 10, 2011
Cars Need Gas and Being Wrong Sucks
So let me preface this by saying since getting my driver's license at the age of 16, I have never run out of gas- EVER. So, when David is constantly mentioning how we need to get gas, how are we gonna have enough gas to get here, how will we have enough gas to get there, we need gas for the week, blah blah blah gas blah gas blah gas gas gas blah blah blah. Finally yesterday I flipped out and told him I never wanted to hear the word gas come out of his mouth again. It's like that's all he ever talks about. I don't know if he was doused in gasoline and set on fire as a child, but seriously, this dude is obsessed with gas. (And yes, he thinks flatulence is funny too, ugh!!)
Well, fast forward 24 hours. I knew the car had been telling me low fuel and I had to take the laundry to the laundromat. I figured I'd get gas when I went back to put it in the dryer because I live a block away from 2 gas stations and the laundromat. So, I put the laundry in and head back. Then I go put it in the dryer and figure I will get gas when I go pick the clothes up. Well, as chance would have it, David decides to go back with me to get the laundry (I think it's because I told him the chick working there was really pretty). We go through the bank drive thru on the other end of the parking lot to deposit some cash and I start pulling out of the parking lot and he said something about gas and I said, oops, let's get it after we pick up the clothes. So we park the car, get the clothes, get back in the car aaaaaaaaand... it won't start. It blinks low fuel. He looks at me and I want to die. I knew, from that second forward that I will NEVER hear the end of it. I'm wondering if we should just break up now because I don't know if I can live like this.
Luckily, it was only like half a block to the gas station. It was a breezy and beautiful 75 degrees out. We walked over, bought a one gallon thingamabobber (cause apparently this gas station doesn't believe in good will towards man.) Bought the gallon, put it in the car, then went and filled the gas tank.
All I can say is... man, does it totally suck to be wrong... but I guess having it happen once in my life is okay.
Well, fast forward 24 hours. I knew the car had been telling me low fuel and I had to take the laundry to the laundromat. I figured I'd get gas when I went back to put it in the dryer because I live a block away from 2 gas stations and the laundromat. So, I put the laundry in and head back. Then I go put it in the dryer and figure I will get gas when I go pick the clothes up. Well, as chance would have it, David decides to go back with me to get the laundry (I think it's because I told him the chick working there was really pretty). We go through the bank drive thru on the other end of the parking lot to deposit some cash and I start pulling out of the parking lot and he said something about gas and I said, oops, let's get it after we pick up the clothes. So we park the car, get the clothes, get back in the car aaaaaaaaand... it won't start. It blinks low fuel. He looks at me and I want to die. I knew, from that second forward that I will NEVER hear the end of it. I'm wondering if we should just break up now because I don't know if I can live like this.
Luckily, it was only like half a block to the gas station. It was a breezy and beautiful 75 degrees out. We walked over, bought a one gallon thingamabobber (cause apparently this gas station doesn't believe in good will towards man.) Bought the gallon, put it in the car, then went and filled the gas tank.
All I can say is... man, does it totally suck to be wrong... but I guess having it happen once in my life is okay.
Tuesday, August 9, 2011
Memories... Light the Corners of My Mind: Roasted Carpet Edition
I was babysitting this girl the other day and she asked me if I knew that carpet was made out of plastic. I'm not sure if I know or don't know this, but it kind of made sense when I thought about this thing that once happened...
I was sitting on my bed in my room looking at this shoebox full of letters that I had kept from an old boyfriend and an old flame. Well, I was thinking about how big of jerks they were and how I hated all men and though they needed to burn in heck, so I decided I needed to think of a ritualistic way to dispose of these notes. Of course, clearly I was not thinking too rationally, because I thought the best idea was to set them on fire... in a shoebox... in the middle of my bed...
I think you see where this is going. So aflame they went! And as the fire blazed, I threw the box onto the floor. Smoke filled the room, my dad banged on the door and wiggled the handle, put the fire out and voila!- melted carpet and a hole in the middle of the floor. Well, Dad was irate, and I was clearly a moron, for not thinking that it was a bad idea... oh, hindsight, how you elude us all!!
I was sitting on my bed in my room looking at this shoebox full of letters that I had kept from an old boyfriend and an old flame. Well, I was thinking about how big of jerks they were and how I hated all men and though they needed to burn in heck, so I decided I needed to think of a ritualistic way to dispose of these notes. Of course, clearly I was not thinking too rationally, because I thought the best idea was to set them on fire... in a shoebox... in the middle of my bed...
I think you see where this is going. So aflame they went! And as the fire blazed, I threw the box onto the floor. Smoke filled the room, my dad banged on the door and wiggled the handle, put the fire out and voila!- melted carpet and a hole in the middle of the floor. Well, Dad was irate, and I was clearly a moron, for not thinking that it was a bad idea... oh, hindsight, how you elude us all!!
Monday, August 8, 2011
Apparently Sunday Was Evil B@#%* Day!!
Man, what a horrible God's day it was yesterday!
Here's the skinny...
So I had this "friend" that I had started babysitting for overnights on the weekend. She started as a stranger and then we became friends. Well, I needed extra money, so I offered to babysit M-F for her. Since she didn't want to get up early and bring them to me (she lived about 20 min away) it was decided that they would stay the nights M-Th... which somehow turned into Sun-Th and sometimes Friday. Well, she would come up Wednesday nights, conveniently after her kids were asleep. She got off work at 5 and would somehow come up with excuses not to show up for a couple hours. She was only paying me $150 a week, which turned into me only getting paid every other week, but her often saying she wasn't sure if she would end up having it.
So, apparently today she somehow decided it wasn't important to ask me what time it was okay to bring the kids up. She texts me to inform me that she is on her way and has groceries. I had spent the last 2 hours trying to come up with a way for my kids' dad to see them. I tell her that we are on the road and she throws a fit. She wanted to bring the kids ASAP. I mentioned that it would be nice for David and I to get 5 minutes of alone time since we hadn't had any alone time for like 2 months! Apparently this was totally wrong of me to say because she kinda flipped. And when I asked how late she was planning to stay she said she needed to go home early and get to sleep. Seriously??
So, me being super passive with my "friends" I don't say anything, but David decides to text her and let her have it. She then sends me an angry text saying she is gonna have to figure something else out and I ask her if she means tonight or forever... this was her response:
"Forever. That's bull. I don't appreciate it... I pay you 300 dollars every two weeks and bring food up everytime I come up and everything. I'm sorry that I had something I need to do so that I have money. I didn't get the check I was supposed to get in the mail, so I have no money right now. I wasn't planning on doing ANYTHING tonight when I went home but eat and go to bed because I was planning on getting up early for work. I wasn't told anything about you wanting me to stay later for karaoke or anything, if it's not going to work, I guess I'll figure something else out. Idk what... But something."
A) The only "groceries" she brings is when she occasionally brings milk, which is mostly consumed by her 18 month old. But that is like pulling teeth because she says she knows her daughter isn't the only one to drink it.
B) I HAD mentioned going to karaoke to her several times today and yesterday.
Needless to say I don't expect to get paid Friday for last week. Needless to say I won't have enough to pay rent. UGH!
THEN...
As some of you may know from following my FB, Tweets or blogs, I've been feeling really icky lately and have not wanted to be out in public in over a month. So I finally muster up the courage to go to the bar down the street because a pal does karaoke and it was his birthday. Barely get a foot in the door before the bartender loudly proclaims that David isn't technically supposed to be in the bar because he haggled about his tab over a month ago. WTFrench?? It made me feel trashy and I was mortified. I know this was total pansy of me, but I hugged the friend and his girlfriend and quickly exited out the side door before I started bawling. I don't recall ever being embarrassed like that in public, but maybe I am burying it in the darkest corners of my mind.
I don't know. I'm so sick of people who don't know how to treat other human beings... Have we all forgotten the golden rule? ARGH!!!
Here's the skinny...
So I had this "friend" that I had started babysitting for overnights on the weekend. She started as a stranger and then we became friends. Well, I needed extra money, so I offered to babysit M-F for her. Since she didn't want to get up early and bring them to me (she lived about 20 min away) it was decided that they would stay the nights M-Th... which somehow turned into Sun-Th and sometimes Friday. Well, she would come up Wednesday nights, conveniently after her kids were asleep. She got off work at 5 and would somehow come up with excuses not to show up for a couple hours. She was only paying me $150 a week, which turned into me only getting paid every other week, but her often saying she wasn't sure if she would end up having it.
So, apparently today she somehow decided it wasn't important to ask me what time it was okay to bring the kids up. She texts me to inform me that she is on her way and has groceries. I had spent the last 2 hours trying to come up with a way for my kids' dad to see them. I tell her that we are on the road and she throws a fit. She wanted to bring the kids ASAP. I mentioned that it would be nice for David and I to get 5 minutes of alone time since we hadn't had any alone time for like 2 months! Apparently this was totally wrong of me to say because she kinda flipped. And when I asked how late she was planning to stay she said she needed to go home early and get to sleep. Seriously??
So, me being super passive with my "friends" I don't say anything, but David decides to text her and let her have it. She then sends me an angry text saying she is gonna have to figure something else out and I ask her if she means tonight or forever... this was her response:
"Forever. That's bull. I don't appreciate it... I pay you 300 dollars every two weeks and bring food up everytime I come up and everything. I'm sorry that I had something I need to do so that I have money. I didn't get the check I was supposed to get in the mail, so I have no money right now. I wasn't planning on doing ANYTHING tonight when I went home but eat and go to bed because I was planning on getting up early for work. I wasn't told anything about you wanting me to stay later for karaoke or anything, if it's not going to work, I guess I'll figure something else out. Idk what... But something."
A) The only "groceries" she brings is when she occasionally brings milk, which is mostly consumed by her 18 month old. But that is like pulling teeth because she says she knows her daughter isn't the only one to drink it.
B) I HAD mentioned going to karaoke to her several times today and yesterday.
Needless to say I don't expect to get paid Friday for last week. Needless to say I won't have enough to pay rent. UGH!
THEN...
As some of you may know from following my FB, Tweets or blogs, I've been feeling really icky lately and have not wanted to be out in public in over a month. So I finally muster up the courage to go to the bar down the street because a pal does karaoke and it was his birthday. Barely get a foot in the door before the bartender loudly proclaims that David isn't technically supposed to be in the bar because he haggled about his tab over a month ago. WTFrench?? It made me feel trashy and I was mortified. I know this was total pansy of me, but I hugged the friend and his girlfriend and quickly exited out the side door before I started bawling. I don't recall ever being embarrassed like that in public, but maybe I am burying it in the darkest corners of my mind.
I don't know. I'm so sick of people who don't know how to treat other human beings... Have we all forgotten the golden rule? ARGH!!!
Wednesday, August 3, 2011
There Aren't Enough Things in this House for Me to Break!!!
Egads, sometimes things suck! Sometimes they suck reaaaaaaaal bad. (Badly?) There are two things about myself that I take pride in: my kindness to animals and my kindness to children. That's about it. For the most part, aside from that, I don't know why I exist sometimes. So, if someone were to come at me with opposition to either of those things, I wouldn't know what to do!
Well, today I found out what I'd do... I'd lie on the bathroom floor for an hour, bawl my eyes out and puke because of the migraine it gave me! Let me preface this situation with a bit of back story. As you know from following my blog, I have been babysitting for several months now just for a bit o' extra cash while I can't sub. Anyway, it has been such a rewarding experience! I have met some great kids and met some great parents as well! Sure, I've had a couple bad apples here and there, but for the most part it has been a very positive thing in mine and my children's lives. And one of the plus sides is that I've made two really good friends (maybe I'm making the assumption that they are friends, though, who knows) and it really boosts my deflated ego when parents tell me there kids ask to come back or when a parent comes to pick up their child and they don't want to go. So, it has all been pretty great... until today.
This is what shocked me the most: the parent involved is someone I've known since high school. We were kinda friends back then and then rekindled our friendship when I moved in January. I've been to her house, met her kids, I thought things were hunky dory with us. She and I couldn't be more different personality-wise, but that's the great thing about friends- diversity is somewhat what brings people together.
Well, because her mom was going to be out of state for a week, she asked if I could babysit. I said yes and told her she didn't have to pay me or she could pay me whatever she wanted. I didn't really care because her daughter and my daughter could play and it didn't matter to me to have one more kid around. Well, fast forward to today and she totally threw me for a loop today after picking her daughter up. I'm all about kids being happy when they are here because childhoods are meant to enjoy- as adults, it is harder to find things to smile about. Apparently I am wrong and I suck at life. Not her words, but I'm interpreting it as such. I felt like she was telling me that I was a horrible person and the things she said made it clear that the way I parent my own children was not her idea of good. I know she wasn't intentionally trying to hurt me, that's just the way she talks. She is very straightforward and doesn't sugar coat anything. Well, I'm very much a wuss and never tell people how I really feel. Fast forward 20 texts later and I'm lying on the floor in the bathroom with the lights out bawling my eyes out.
I'm not gonna knock on her or put her down cause that's not good for anyone. Although I disagree with a great many things she said to me, everyone is entitled to their own opinion. I'm not going to argue. I'll just chalk it up to another lesson learned and the loss of a friend.
I suck at life.
Well, today I found out what I'd do... I'd lie on the bathroom floor for an hour, bawl my eyes out and puke because of the migraine it gave me! Let me preface this situation with a bit of back story. As you know from following my blog, I have been babysitting for several months now just for a bit o' extra cash while I can't sub. Anyway, it has been such a rewarding experience! I have met some great kids and met some great parents as well! Sure, I've had a couple bad apples here and there, but for the most part it has been a very positive thing in mine and my children's lives. And one of the plus sides is that I've made two really good friends (maybe I'm making the assumption that they are friends, though, who knows) and it really boosts my deflated ego when parents tell me there kids ask to come back or when a parent comes to pick up their child and they don't want to go. So, it has all been pretty great... until today.
This is what shocked me the most: the parent involved is someone I've known since high school. We were kinda friends back then and then rekindled our friendship when I moved in January. I've been to her house, met her kids, I thought things were hunky dory with us. She and I couldn't be more different personality-wise, but that's the great thing about friends- diversity is somewhat what brings people together.
Well, because her mom was going to be out of state for a week, she asked if I could babysit. I said yes and told her she didn't have to pay me or she could pay me whatever she wanted. I didn't really care because her daughter and my daughter could play and it didn't matter to me to have one more kid around. Well, fast forward to today and she totally threw me for a loop today after picking her daughter up. I'm all about kids being happy when they are here because childhoods are meant to enjoy- as adults, it is harder to find things to smile about. Apparently I am wrong and I suck at life. Not her words, but I'm interpreting it as such. I felt like she was telling me that I was a horrible person and the things she said made it clear that the way I parent my own children was not her idea of good. I know she wasn't intentionally trying to hurt me, that's just the way she talks. She is very straightforward and doesn't sugar coat anything. Well, I'm very much a wuss and never tell people how I really feel. Fast forward 20 texts later and I'm lying on the floor in the bathroom with the lights out bawling my eyes out.
I'm not gonna knock on her or put her down cause that's not good for anyone. Although I disagree with a great many things she said to me, everyone is entitled to their own opinion. I'm not going to argue. I'll just chalk it up to another lesson learned and the loss of a friend.
I suck at life.
Tuesday, August 2, 2011
There Are Still Good People in the World!!!
So, although I try to find the good in everyone, it has seemed to become rarer and rarer. Your best friend may look you in the eye while trying to stab you in the back. The man you wake up to in the morning may be the man warming someone else's bed at noon. Where am I going with this you ask- well, quit rushing me, I'm getting there!
The other day I posted an ad on craigslist. I don't like my kids' mattresses being on the floor. Sure, it's not a big deal, but I think it's tacky. I'm poor, I'm the first to admit it. I posted an ad looking for twin bed frames and said I could only pay like $20 apiece. Well, the second person to respond told me she had two frames she would just GIVE me. We emailed back and forth a bit and she asked how old my kids were. When I got there to pick up the frames (although she offered to deliver them) she had bags of movies, a keyboard, games, etc. to give my kids as well! She asked if she could save my number for when she unearthed more things. I said definitely. Well, she had only been able to dig out one of the bed frames and said she would call me when she unburied the other one. I decided to give the first one to A as she is older. After putting it together, she was so excited it was like Christmas. Well, then L asked where his was and I told him we would have to wait a bit. Of course this made him cry...
Well, not 5 minutes later I received a call from the lady saying that she felt so bad that my son wasn't getting his that she had dug it out, loaded it up and was on her way to bring it to me!! I was so happy. I couldn't believe that someone was so nice. I mean, I know that I would do something like that for a total stranger, but I can't even get most of my friends to do anything nice for me.
All I can say is that I hope karma does something really nice for this lady in the near future, because she definitely deserves it!!!
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