I don't proofread my posts before I publish them... cause I keep my thoughts au naturale.

Friday, July 24, 2009

Sleep Happens

So the other day I was curious about how many hours that your child should be sleeping per day, how many naps per age, etc. My daughter is 3 and a half and normally doesn't take naps. My son is 18 months and will take one nap during the day and if I'm lucky it will be 2 hours, but sometimes it's as little as 30 minutes. So, I found this helpful chart. Not all children are the same, so it's not a written in stone type deal.

Anyway, what I don't get is how no matter what time your kids go to bed at night, they wake up at roughly the same time in the morning. For instance, being an old lady, I tend to like to go to bed at 8:30pm. LOL. I take the kids in with me while I wind down watching General Hospital. I'm usually asleep before 10pm. Now, the kids usually fall asleep within half an hour, and then wake up in the morning anywhere from 7am-9am. L sleeps later than A typically. I love it when I wake up on my own before them.

But last night, for example, we were visiting a relative and Nick kept us out until a whopping 10pm and I was about to pass out! So, we get home, get the kids right to bed and they fall asleep within TEN MINUTES! I had a harder time winding down and didn't fall asleep until close to midnight. So, when Nick's alarm woke up at 6am and woke me up, I had a hard time going back to sleep and I am SO TIRED. But, the kids still got up at the same time as usual.

What's the deal? If I had the option of sleeping as long as I wanted, you can bet I'd be living that up! I always figured 9 hours was my perfect number for sanity sake, but since having kids, I'm lucky to get a good 6. Plus I'm a very light sleeper and wake up multiple times at night.

I'm gonna wrap this up, cause it's getting long, but this is kinda me pondering aloud about sleep. Are my kids getting enough? Why do they insist on waking up before they're ready? Will I ever get those 9 hours I long for? Is Claudia going to lose the baby on General Hospital?

Tuesday, July 21, 2009

Dear Conan O'Brien

As a loyal fan of your show for many years, I feel that it is not only my right, but my duty to INSIST that you bring back two of my favorite skits and have them be staples on the Tonight Show. (And when I say INSIST, that could imply that if you refuse, you might find a severed horse head in your bed one night... just saying.)

Both characters are played by the genius that is Brian Stack! Hilarity incarnate, Brian's two beloved characters that must return are The Interrupter and Artie Kendall, the lounge singing ghost. Each time I see these skits, my heart goes pitter pat as anyone who knows me knows that I get weak in the knees over guy's that make me laugh. (Except for you, Conan, because you are so obviously taken and no offense, but I like guys with a little more meat on their bones.)

In summation, I will not beg, I will not plead, I will merely "suggest" (perhaps violently) that you revive these Late Night characters on The Tonight Show as I miss them more than a fat kid misses the ability to walk up stairs without getting winded.

Much love,


Wednesday, July 15, 2009


Moms (and parents in general) tend to have a language of their own when it comes to raising kids. Inspired by ParentsConnect, here are five "momfinitions" that I believe pertain to the highs and lows that are involved in the wonderful world of parenting!

Goopies [goo-pees]noun: the icky little green things that show up in the corner of your eyes. Hold still, you have eye goopies.

Cranktastic [krank-ta-stik] adjective:
the way my daughter gets when she hasn't had a nap and starts to cry or get irritable for no reason whatsoever. Your cranktastic attitude is telling me that it's gonna be an early bedtime tonight!

Pooplosion [poo-plo-shun] noun:
when your child's poop fills up the diaper and their back... and their clothes... and the floor... Time to start another load of laundry, we've just had a pooplosion!

pacitastrophe [pass-e-tas-tro-fee] noun: The panicky moment of horror when your infant/toddler is screaming and you realize there is no pacifier in the diaperbag or the vicinity. Usually occurs in public places or in the car. I'm sorry, I have to excuse myself and drive to the nearest WalMart because we are having a major pacitastrophe!

Law of Two [la- uv- too] noun:
The law in life that says if you have two children that they can't be good at the same time. One always has to be crying, mad or throwing a fit of some sort. Those rare moments when they are both being good are when you break out the camera in order to show people that your kids just defied nature! (on the phone) Oh, she's crying because her brother is not- it's the law of two!

I would love to hear your reaction to my momfinitions! Do you know what I'm talking about? Do you have any momfinitions of your own? If you found mine interesting, you should definitely check out the ones at ParentsConnect!

Friday, July 10, 2009

Our First Real Boo Boo

So yesterday we encountered our first "major" boo boo with one of our children. Pretty good, I'd say, considering my oldest is three and a half. Well, she has gotten kind of wild as of late. In the past couple days, she's given me two bruises on my leg from jumping on me, kicked me in the mouth accidentally while playing and then yesterday was the worst.

Being the older sister, she often uses her brute strength to get her way. We have often said that she is going to be sorry when her brother gets bigger than she is cause payback is gonna be hard! Right now he's only 5 lbs. less than her, but is 2 years younger...

Anyway, they were running in the house despite our objections and she would throw a ball and they would both chase it, but she would knock him out of the way before he could get to it. Well, on the third attempt, she knocked him down and he smacked his face on the table leg. Immediately blood started running down his face! I jumped up and grabbed him and yelled for Nick to get some paper towels. It was small laceration, but seemed pretty deep. I called my in-laws to come tell us if they thought it needed stitches. (They live two doors down.) After the blood was cleanded up, it was decided that butterfly bandaids might do the trick- so far so good! But it's our first brush with any kind of big owie. Hopefully there are no stitches or broken bones in their future.

Just thought I'd share!

Thursday, July 9, 2009

Megan Hauserman is back!!!

Okay, so I know a lot of people don't get my fascination with this woman, but I was soooooooo excited when I saw the commercial on VH1 that I literally got up and started dancing! Megan Hauserman of Rock of Love, I Love Money and Charm School notoriety is back with her own reality show! I called it, I wanted it, I'm stoked about it! It's called "Megan Wants a Millionaire" and premieres on VH1 August 2. And she's also bringing good ole' Brandi C. along for the ride!

The premise of the show is that like 17 millionaires compete for Megan's love. When casting for the show, it was required that the men have a net worth of at least one million. I'm not 100%, but I believe "Sex Toy Dave" (of Millionaire Matchmaker notoriety) is one of the cast members. I was not a big fan of him because he was too shallow for my taste.

And speaking of shallow, back to why I like Megan so much! She's conniving, she's vicious, but you can tell she's smart. She knows what she's doing and just like women have been doing for centuries, she knows that using her body and her good looks will get her pretty much anything she wants. She's fun to watch and she's my guilty pleasure.

I know a lot of people hate her and I know that she did Sharon Osbourne wrong by insulting her husband on the reunion show, but I do believe she was tipsy (I could be remembering it wrong) and clearly she doesn't have good taste in music cause Ozzy is fabulous! But, I've been friends with people who aren't friends with my other friends. It's all good.

So, this was me sharing a bit of guilty pleasure excitement that VH1 has fulfilled my fantasy of giving Megan her own reality show! And if you're following Daisy of Love (she is hideous, btw, I can't quit staring at her fake hair) I am hoping that 20Pack wins cause he is yummy!

Monday, July 6, 2009

What in the world, Immune System?!

So it's summer... and I have a "cold." I put it in quotations because I actually think it's a sinus infection, but have lost my little badge that says MD, so I can't say for sure.

But it's ridiculous! Who gets this in the summer? I must have one of the worst immune systems, because I catch EVERYTHING. If my kids have it, I'll get it. If my husband brings it home, I get it. (That sounded bad, but I'm not referring to STDs.) So, my kids seemed to have a bit of the sniffles a couple weeks ago and sure enough, I got it. But then it turned into a full blown infection! I tried taking Nyquil one evening and it knocked me out and rendered me useless for TWO DAYS. I can't take antihistamines for the same reason.

Then there's the sweating. It was actually quite mild weather-wise this past week, but I had the air conditioning on full blast while my family was bundled up under blankets. And I was STILL sweating! Thankfully my husband allowed me to nap frequently, but I've been going to bed around 8pm and sleeping all night, yet it still lingers.

I'm sure you're saying, "go to the doctor!" Don't try to reason with me!

Anyway, now that I've ranted about this and sufficiently grossed people out, I just wanted to conclude by saying my main reason for posting this was to let you know why I haven't been blogging a lot lately and why I might be slacking a bit in the days to come. Otherwise, things are going great despite the fact that I have NO BABYSITTERS and NO DAYCARE for the month of July... how will I cope?!

Thursday, July 2, 2009


As you know, I love me some Twitter! As you might also know, I love me some Stephen Colbert! Well, from time to time whilst on Twitter I will check out the trending topics and the other day when I saw that Jeff Goldblum was one, I looked at why. Apparently people had stupidly started a rumor that he had died, too. It was the same day that Farrah Fawcett and Michael Jackson died. Of course, it was a lie and a moronic one at that, but in true hilarious form, Jeff Goldblum addressed "his death" on the Colbert Report. Enjoy!