I don't proofread my posts before I publish them... cause I keep my thoughts au naturale.

Monday, December 2, 2013

Don't delude yourself- it's the terrible one's, two's and three's!

H at 17 months.
Everyone has heard the phrase, "the terrible two's."  This is that mythical time in a toddler's life where they are supposedly at their worse behavior-wise.  The theory behind this is that they are unable to make their wants known verbally and it frustrates them, so the only way they respond is by being naughty, throwing tantrums and bringing their parents to the brink of insanity.

Well the terrible two's is a nice idea.  How great would it be if it magically started at 2 and ended by 3.  But it doesn't.  It starts around one and carries over until three.  I first learned this with my first son, L, when he started having fits and driving me crazy after he started walking.  I remember his favorite thing to do was pull things off the shelf and just walk away.  You couldn't leave the room without him getting upset and car rides were misery incarnate.  I told myself, "oh, his terrible two's started early."  Nope... it kept going, through two and the first part of three, when he started being able to communicate verbally.  He could entertain himself (or expected his older sister to entertain him) and I was able to function without him latched to my side.

Now we're at H's "early terrible two's."  Although a sweet child (L was too), there are times when I just want to run out into the street screaming until someone admits me to the psyche ward, just so I can have a break.  This is my husband's first child, so when he suggested that H's "terrible two's were coming early," I just laughed and laughed... poor naive fella.  H is 17 months old now and has been in this stage for several months.  It's that stage where you tell them no and they either laugh or cry.  You step one foot out of the room and they are immediately trying to grab your phone, drink, tv remote, plugs in the wall... they are sneaky.  It's the age of finding the package of wipes and pulling them all out and throwing them on the floor.  I can't leave the room without a fit being thrown, can't shut the bathroom door all the way or I have to listen to him ram into the door with his back.  While I shower, he opens the curtain and throws random things in.

But the most frustrating thing is the resistance to sleep.  Why do toddlers thing "nap" is a four letter word?  Naps are great!  We all know the holy terror that is a child who needs to go to sleep.  I call this being irrational.  H is on a routine where every morning around 9:30 am he starts being "irrational."  He cries over everything, gets frustrated and becomes inconsolable.  This is when I know he needs a quick break.  I make him a bottle and he lays in his bed, then comes running out in a better mood.  Then between 11-12, he becomes irrational again and IN THEORY this is when his nap should happen.  I give him another bottle and he lays in bed.  If the Gods are smiling upon me, he naps and it is usually for 2 hours.  But if I'm covered with clouds for the day, he refuses and no amount of bottles is going to change that.  Then he will hold out until like 3pm until he finally passes out after hours of being a demon spawn.

That about wraps up my point.  I have a sweet, loveable boy who is just adorable, but I'm becoming a pro at this mom thing and I don't want any new mommies deluding themselves into thinking the terrible two's only lasts a year.  I suggest you get through this three year phase by medicating yourself, getting a full-time job and leaving the kid with a sitter or else you could pray for patience and hope that it sticks.