I don't proofread my posts before I publish them... cause I keep my thoughts au naturale.

Sunday, May 31, 2009

Hamsters, Kittens, and Fish That Are Gold

Am I getting old?

Has being a parent warped my fragile little mind?

Or am I closely related to the little fishy swimming in a bowl on my countertop?

Lately, my memory has been worthless! It's quite the difficulty knowing what day of the week it is, but some bizarre things have been happening. Like, I will have something I want to do in say 5 days... and it will COMPLETELY slip my mind. I probably wouldn't even have ever remembered it was in there had someone not told me. Things like this have started occurring on a regular basis and it's freaking me out!

I don't know if it my elderly status or post pregnancy brain... like two years late? Anyway, I have no idea, but I do not like it! How can I appear to be a responsible adult when I can't remember something from one day to the next?

What was I talking about?

Oh yeah... turnips. I've never actually eaten a turnip, so I can't say that I know much about them. I don't even really know how one would go about preparing a turnip. Do you cook them, eat them raw? Do they grow in the ground like potatoes? I'm gonna go out on a prejudiced limb and say that I do not like turnips.

Thursday, May 28, 2009

The Guilt That Keeps On Giving

As you may already know, I hate emotions. I think they are a sign of weakness and I will pass on the emoting train. Of course, I have the occasional time where I let myself feel and then I try to shake it off and get back on track.

Then there's guilt. I hate guilt. Mainly because when I feel guilt it is because I did something wrong. And being wrong is not fun. (As aforementioned.)

The first memory I have of feeling guilt was when I was super young. My dad went to Chicago for something and he brought us all back these tee shirts that said Chicago on them. (At the time I recall thinking Chicago was around Florida.) Well, I felt jipped. I did not want some measly tee shirt. So, my dad went out and bought me some sort of Barbie because I think he felt bad for me. I was excited about the doll, but I remember playing with it later on and thinking, "did I hurt his feelings because I didn't want a shirt?" In hindsight, the shirt was much more significant that a stupid doll.

Anyway, back to today and guilt... and emotions. My mom is retiring and the other day they had an assembly at her school. I cried at the assembly because I know how upset she is about retiring but how she knows it is the right decision. She loves her job. But I cried because I felt her pain. It surprised me and I was sure she saw me crying... but she didn't. And she later commented on how my sister and I were so deadpan at the assembly. I didn't respond because I felt weak for crying and did not want to tell her. So now I feel guilty for letting her think that I didn't care and was emotionless.

Ah, life. Why we do the things we do, why we think the things we think is such an enigma to me. Just when I think I know myself completely, things happen that surprise me. I emote. I hate it. But I know that I'm a human being and it's okay. If I could just come to terms with that, things would be peachy.

Tuesday, May 26, 2009

I Want My Life Back!!! (part one)

The title is from an episode of Supernanny. This kid says to his dad, "I want my [toy] back" and the dad quickly yells, "I want my life back!" I laughed hysterically over this. It was sad, but only because he said it out loud! I don't condone saying mean things like that to your kids, but...

I sure wish I knew what I was getting into before I popped out my first bundle of joy. No one tells you about the fact that you are pretty much shackled to this being for several years until they get to the point where they hate you and don't want to be around you. Don't get me wrong, I planned BOTH my kids. With the first one, I loooooooved babies. I babysat and I was super jealous whenever I was around someone with a small child. I wanted someone to love me like that. I wanted to know what it felt like. It was my dream.

Boy was I wrong! Anyone contemplating having a child should definitely borrow one for a week. The media mocked the reality show "Baby Borrowers," but it was actually an awesome idea! There's a huge difference between WANTING a child and HAVING one.

Now here's where I feel I must point out a couple things. I love my kids! I am a good mom because I choose to be. It's not their fault that I'm not into the cookie cutter mold and that I want my own identity. I know there are mothers out there who will stare at their child all day long and praise Jesus every five minutes for this bundle of joy. Hang on, I just threw up in my mouth a little.

To those moms, good on you! That's great. Does it make me feel like you're a better parent? I wish it did, but I've known moms like that who ended up with totally messed up kids.

And to people who already realize kids are not an option anytime soon because you are too selfish, I applaud you for your wisdom (one of them being @aimeelady). I am NOT a selfish person, which is why I CAN be a good mom, but I want to continue to have my own identity. I used to be fun, I used to go out, have motivation to live life to its fullest. I still do, but where does one find the time? My friends all want to go out at 10pm or hang out on the spur of the moment, but those days are impossible for me. Plus, it's sad that if I have a choice between sleep and having fun, I'll always choose sleep.

I have lots more to say on this, but will spare you as this has gotten long... (to be continued.)

Sunday, May 24, 2009

Tell Me How Much You Hate Me!!!

This is just a little post where I touch base with all my adoring (and hating) fans. First, I wanted to thank anyone that reads this blog because it's nice to know that people care! I question whether I fit into that typical "mommy blogger" mold, but I accept that people think that I do. Oh, well!

In terms of things coming up, I will continue to write original content as it comes to me. As you know, I don't just write because I feel like I should. I write when I'm inspired. And sometimes, I'm completely uninspired, so I'm not going to force a blog post. Also, I will continue to be doing movie reviews. Why? Cause I get the movies for free to review and no amount of complaining is gonna make me think that's bad! I loooooooooove watching movies... and I love free stuff. Sooooo... sue me! Also, I'll continue to post giveaways as things come in for me to give. Hopefully at some point all of my followers will win SOMETHING. Maybe I'll giveaway a lock of hair...

Anyway, the other point to this post was that I am welcoming feedback. Are there things that you like or don't like? What kind of posts do you prefer that I do? Also, you can tell me if there's anything about the layout that you'd like me to change. Chances are I won't cause I love it, but it never hurts to say.

Lastly, starting this Friday, I'm going to do Follow Friday posts where I recommend ONE new person that I think you should follow on Twitter. Again, my twitter is @hamsterkitten, so feel free to check me out!

Thanks again, guys! I've got mad love for you all!!!

Thursday, May 21, 2009

Embrace the Sillies

Okay, so the economy's in the crapper, we've got soldiers stuck in Iraq, and the CW just canceled Reaper. Sometimes it seems like there is not light at the end of the tunnel.

I urge you to let loose! And to this you're probably saying, "But, Hamsterkitten, I get drunk every day. How much more loose can I be?" Okay, that is a good point, but I'm talking about the non alcohol or drug induced letting loose. Stand up, shake it out. Get silly! Don't be so uptight all the time.

Yes, life hands you lemons. That's how it goes. Why not paint faces on those lemons, buckle them into your car and pretend they're people? Have a 3 hour conversation about how ridiculous it is for soap operas to think that people can get shot 4 times, fall out of an airplane, have 10 miscarriages and still be okay.

Watch in fascination as your children look at you funny when you jump on the floor and start rolling around like you're on fire. They'll love it! Let them jump on you, pretend to be cookie monster and break out of your mold for once.

Getting old is not pleasant, but isn't it great when you can retain your youth by being carefree and realizing the world is not always a big bad place? I'm guessing if you're reading MY blog, you're not completely opposed to a little silliness.

Sunday, May 17, 2009

The CP Chronicles: Chapter Three (Tawny)

Tawny blew my mind. Some days she annoyed me to no end, some days she was a barrel of laughs and other days, I wanted to adopt her due to my overwhelming pity for the poor woman.

I could be wrong, but from what I recall, Tawny had MS. But, it had started in her brain so she was no longer able to take care of herself. She has a terrible short term memory. She called everyone (male or female) "good lady." You'd walk in and there would be Tawny, sitting in the living area watching television and she'd turn with a chipper, "Hello, Good Lady!" This was usually followed with, "do you have a cigarette?"

Tawny loved her cigarettes. I remember, she smoked Dorals in a blue pack. We had to have her initial every hour on the hour when she got a cigarette because she would come back and ask for another one and when you told her she had just finished smoking, she'd yell, "Like hell I did!" She would occasionally attempt to break in to get her cigarettes from the office, but she was pretty harmless. We could only give her one an hour because she'd smoke every minute of the day if you'd let her.

The reason I pitied Tawny (other than her disability) was her family. She was kind of from a trashy family and had two daughters and a son that would occasionally visit her. They were in high school and would bring their friends who would make fun of her. I know one of the daughter's names was Tara because whenever Tawny would ask me my name, she'd say "That's like my daughter Tara, but not the same first letter!"

She was also known for doing just about anything for a candy bar, soda or cigarette. Sometimes I wonder, though, if it was better for her not to understand what was going on. She had a safe environment and was very friendly. Perhaps had she been out of the facility, she might have ended up being taken advantage of and abused.

Yes, Tawny was an enigma, but managed to put a smile on my face on an almost daily basis.

Friday, May 15, 2009

My Thoughts On: Dust

Dust is stupid. Why do we have dust? Okay, don't answer that, cause I do know.

I actually enjoy doing laundry. I enjoy vacuuming, I enjoy the smell of bleach and the feeling of an extremely clean room. I may be a freak like that, but hey, you gotta love the small things in life!

But I will NOT dust. I'll wash the curtains that get dusty. I wash my bedding all the time, so no dust there.

You will NOT catch me with a dust rag or a swiffer.

Want to know why? Cause it's never ending! You dust today, it's dusty tomorrow. Dust is like a veil of dirty that covers everything you own, but will not stay away. And since I currently live in a cruddy old farmhouse, dust comes in every crack and crevice imaginable. Also, I'm allergic to dust and just washing the curtains will give me a 3 day sinus infection. This is part of the reason for my mini blind rampage in which I decided to burn them all as they are nothing but dust magnets.

And now that I have you thoroughly disgusted thinking about how dusty my house is, let me quasi assuage your fears. My house DOES get dusted from time to time, just not by me. Luckily I married a clean freak who actually enjoys dusting. When they invented Swiffer, he developed a crush and it's his favorite cleaning product. He also uses the WetJet on the hard wood floors. If he wants to clean, who am I to get in the way?

What are your thoughts on dust? Do you despise it as much as I do?

Thursday, May 14, 2009

Response from Johnsonville Brats

In reference to my Dear Johnsonville post, I have received an answer from the company:

May 14, 2009

Dear {hamsterkitten}:

We appreciate you taking the time to write us with your questions regarding our sausage products. We are pleased to hear of your interest in our products.

Thank you for sharing your blog with us. It is always delightful to read how much our consumers, such as yourself, enjoy our products. We would also like to apoligize to you and your family member for the cheese burn sustained while enjoying our Cheddar Brats. When properly prepared on a grill, the temperature inside of a brat can reach 180 degrees or more, causing the cheese to become liquified. It is always recommended to allow our products a fair amount of time to cool off before consuming.

We would love to send you some coupons for our Cheddar Bratwurst. The coupons will arrive in the mail within 7 days and can be redeemed at any of your local stores.

At Johnsonville, we don't want to just satisfy our customers, we want to elate every one of them. We truly appreciate you contacting us with your questions and comments; please feel free to contact us if you have any other questions and/or comments in the future. We would love to hear from you again!


Brooke {M.}
Consumer Relations

I am super impressed! Not only were they quick to respond, but they seemed equally fun in their response! I will keep you posted on whether I receive the coupons or not (which I will of course share with my injured family member!) But, receiving a response such of this, just affirms why they are such a great company!

Monday, May 11, 2009

Dear Johnsonville

To you wonderful makers of the world's best brats, I have two key points to make, so please read all the way through.

First and foremost come the compliments! You have perfected the art of the brat in a way that can not be touched. Other brands pale in comparison to the mingling of delightful flavors that you have encapsulated in your meaty links. In fact, just yesterday I was saddened when at a cook out discovered that the brats were not Johnsonville, and as expected, they were uber gross and tasted like roadkill. No amount of saurkraut could redeem them.

Then there are your cheddar brats. How did you know that my motto is "if it's got cheese on it, it's the best food ever!" Meat, cheese, classic combination. Ever since I was introduced to cheddar brats in my youth, I have vowed to make them a staple in my diet as an adult. Grilled to perfection, the juicy cheese flavor explodes in my mouth and causes a slight dairy high in my senses.


This is where the unsettling part comes in. A week ago, someone near and dear to me was accosted and injured by said cheddar brats. One of my favorite relations (whose anonymity I must protect) was egregiously injured while eating a cheddar brat. This man, who has been a master of the grill for decades had chosen to prepare your scrumptious chedbrats on his grill. He allowed them to cool and sit on the table before taking a bite. He was shocked when a slew of hot steamy cheese shot onto the side of his face. He recoiled in pain and wiped it off, commenting on how painful it was. Upon finishing his dinner, he looked in the mirror and realized he had a big chunk of skin missing from his face. A week later, he has a VERY visible wound and is a bit traumatized by what happened. Will he ever eat your cheddar brats again, I don't know. I will, but will be very careful when eating them as I do not want my face marred as well!

In closing, thank you again for your fine products and perhaps you should start a campaign to warn people of the ramifications of hot cheese.



Saturday, May 9, 2009

My Apology to the Bat Community

Hey, Bats,

You know I love you! You're adorable, you're like hamsters with wings- so cute! And I'd NEVER purposely hurt one of your kind!

Well, then there's the old man. He is deathly afraid of you guys. My biggest fears are death and spiders and his are bats, bats aaaaaaaaaaand bats.

Picture it: today we were watching TV and he thought of a witty comeback to put on Facebook, so he hopped out of his recliner and went to the computer. I heard this funny noise and looked around curiously, but it stopped. Then when he hopped back in the chair, the noise started again and we looked at each other. My first thought was that there were mice nesting under the chair- gross, but not unbelievable. So, I went and got a flashlight and took a gander.


Instantly, the old man jumped out of his chair and I went into animal saving mode. The poor little guy was stuck in the gears and struggling to free himself. He looked mighty angry, so I did not want to get my bare hands near him. We got a cup and I nudged him into said cup. I looked him over, established that his wing was not torn, but maybe injured and took him outside. I found a dark place to put him that wouldn't be accessible to the cats and let him be. I've checked on him occasionally, but am hopeful for a full recovery.

Are you mad, Bats? As I mentioned, it was an honest mistake and his cuteness broke my heart. You can feel free to swarm the bugs outside my house anytime you want.



Tuesday, May 5, 2009

Remember When Vampires Weren't Cool?

Neither do I! I recall elementary school when the library got in a crisp new copy of an abridged version of Bram Stoker's Dracula. I was hooked. I wanted to know more about these immortal bloodsuckers. As I got older, I continued to be fascinated. I wanted so badly to see Interview with a Vampire, but it was rated R and there was no way I was going to convince my parents to let me see that. So, I opted to read the book. I recall doing a book report on it in eight grade, in fact.

Well, years passed, my interests went elsewhere, and I slightly forgot about my love for all things vampire. Oh, there's been things here or there, like the revival of Dark Shadows on TV, that didn't live long, the excitement of the rumor they were going to make it into a movie and the bummed outness when it didn't happen.

And then of course came Twilight. I'll admit, I had vaguely remembered my sister in law telling me about it, but at the time, I was way too busy to read for fun. Then the movie came out and I really wanted to see it. I forgot how captivating the stories of immortality and undying love could be. I think we all fear death at some point and who doesn't love the idea of love and it being all consuming and all encompassing? I was smitten and had been bitten- by Twilight fever.

I ventured into reading all the books in the saga, but was incredibly disappointed at how not well written they were! The story was superb, but the writing was not. So, 600 pages into Breaking Dawn when I could not bear to read one more word, I googled the ending. I love happy endings!

Of course this is old news. But, I am so surprised by all of the websites, blogs, chats, twitter characters devoted to the romantic world of the vampire! Recently, I was dragged into a chat at Olympic Coven and was amazed at how detailed these people are! They have created a whole world of characters, inspired by Twilight. Each character is portrayed by a real person and they each have a twitter account for that character. The dedication these people put into these roles is mind blowing! But IRL, they are some of the nicest people you could meet!

As aforementioned, I know I am not first in line to talk about this newly surged love in all things vampire, but have only recently been reintroduced to an idea that is delicious in its theory and design.

If you'd like to follow some of these characters on Twitter, check out:

Saturday, May 2, 2009

The CP Chronicles: Chapter Two (Rose)

Rose was another of my favorites. She was probably top 3. And she was another bipolar individual, but I'm not too sure there wasn't something else there like post traumatic stress disorder. Look at me, thinking I can diagnose, lol.

Anyway, Rose was a wild one! She was in her mid 50s and was a former hairdresser. She was feisty as they come and for some reason she thought my name was "Hans." Yes, that's right. I said "Hans." She just got it in her head that was my name and she never called me anything else.

On her good days, Rose was a peach. We'd sit and chat at the table and she'd tell me stories about her life. She was married once, divorced, no children and a strange attachment to her elderly parents who visited every so often. When she was in her manic phase, she'd roam the halls (I should say scrape as she'd wear these house slippers that would sound like sandpaper dragging across the concrete floors.) She'd look for anyone to jest with and if you weren't looking, she'd occasionally pinch your butt and sometimes more! She was just being her quirky self, and it was not an unpleasant side.

Then there was her depressive phases. She was in love with a resident there named Jack and she pined for him when she was down. He had no idea she was in love with him and often didn't seem to have too many ideas anyway. (Overmedicated?) So, when she was depressed, she would lie in her bed and cry about the fact that Jack didn't love her. Sometimes she wouldn't want to leave her room for a week.

And as life goes, Rose was transferred to another facility when CP closed down. It was hard to say goodbye, but that is always a hurdle we meet at some point in our lives.

Friday, May 1, 2009

Hey, My Brain DOES Work!

I don't pat myself on the back enough, so I'm gonna do that real quick. (For those of you saying, "yes, you do, you're so conceited I hate you", play along.)

So, it was frustrating to me that my blog did not stretch all the way across the screen. If you've been reading my posts for awhile, you'll know that I googled my way into finding out how to make it three columns. By the time I was done, I had to hibernate for a week to get over all the brainpower it took! Well, needless to say, the thought of now figuring out how to widen my margins was more effort than I wanted to put forth. So, I asked one of my favorite tweeples to lend a hand. But, since he's a guy, he was unlikely to get it done in the speed I'd like (I am an impatient person here!) After staying up way later than normal, I went to bed, but could not stop thinking about how to expand my margins and how much better it would look. After the stress itch consumed me (see last month's post) I decided to head back to the laptop so I didn't wake up sleeping L. I resolved to figure this margin thing out and guess what! It took me a whole 2 minutes and I figured it out by myself!

Then, this morning, blogger presented me with an error that didn't let me see my blog. This was not good, cause how would my loyal readers satisfy their curiosity? After a little bit of google digging, I found a link that offered the solution! Perfect!

Despite only getting four crummy hours of sleep, this is looking to be a decent day. I made myself proud AND the UPS guy came! Four days this week! Jesus really loves me, you know? So assuming the lack of sleep crankiness doesn't consume me, today just might be a good day!