I don't proofread my posts before I publish them... cause I keep my thoughts au naturale.

Monday, April 8, 2013

Stand back, I'mma gonna unload!

I'm not a huge proponent of airing dirty laundry on the internet.  I don't mind giving my opinion, but I try not to do any mudslinging.  This MIGHT be an exception...

It has often been insinuated (and flat out said) that I met my current husband while I was still with my ex-husband.  In fact, small minds put big ideas in my ex-husband's sensitive ears telling him that I had to have cheated on him.  But here is the true story of the three little pigs... or whatever:

About a year before we split for good, my husband moved out for 2 months.  Guess how many people in my family knew:  ZERO.  Guess how many people in his family knew: two?  I think his sister and grandma knew.  We just didn't want to hear anyone's opinions and felt it was best to figure things out from there.  He moved back in after a couple months, but it was soon apparent that things were never going to get better and it ended up being more of a roommate situation. 

Anyway, fast forward to summer of 2010.  I had finished my first year of my master's degree and had started losing weight and gaining confidence and self esteem.  I auditioned for a local play and realized that there was so much more to life than the depressive existence I was leading.  When I wasn't at home, I was truly happy.  I had friends, I had motivation and ambition to succeed in life, and I realized that to be a good mom, things were going to have to change.  So, I let my husband know that it was over for good.  I told my mom like the next day, but I don't think I told anyone else.  I knew it was over... I'd known it was over for YEARS.

What is hard, is not having any support.  I didn't have any friends that I could really rely on at the time and there was no way that any of my family was going to willingly help me out.  I had no one. So, I figured that we would share the house and my ex-husband agreed he would move out so I could stay in the home with the kids... but a month went by... he was still there... two months went by... he was still there...  things got hostile, my kids were being exposed to things they didn't need to be and living in a small town with loose lips and people who needed hobbies made it really hard for me to keep going.  I knew that if I wanted to really be out, I was going to have to go.

So, I did.  I haven't regretted it since.  My kids are thriving, smart, happy and great students.  I am happy, my ex is happy, I am working in my dream job and things are going so great. 

Apparently what comes into question about my current husband is when we met and started dating.  We MET about a month after I left my ex.  We didn't become a couple until six months later.  I knew he was a good guy, but I also knew that I needed to figure out what I wanted in life and what I needed to do to be happy.  But more importantly, I had to figure out how to bring my kids out of a divorce unscathed.  I was not looking for a relationship, but apparently fate wanted me to meet David.  Life's too short to wait for the things that you know you want and maybe we didn't wait 3 years to get married or anything, but I think that the decisions I have made in the past couple years have been the best I could make for myself and my kids.

So there's the story.  I don't actually need to justify my actions, but after it was brought up again recently, I just thought I'd throw it out there to the millions and millions (kidding) of people who read my blog. 

Girl power!