Okay, so this is nothing new. Everyone knows about this, but today I am choosing to bring it up because it is on my mind...
You know when you first start developing feelings for someone? You're giddy, your pulse raises when you first see them, their kiss gives you butterflies, you think about them all the time when they are not around... well, why can't that last forever? Why can't we be lovey dovey for life? If you're sappy like me, then you see old people walking and holding hands and think, "I'd love for that to be me some day." I think that is why so many people get divorced these days. Well, this and the fact that people don't like putting up with anyone else's $hit. I'd like to believe that every couple has these aforementioned feelings at some point in their relationship, if not, that is really sad. But, why do these feelings go away? Why can't we still get butterflies and racing pulses and googly eyes? Is it because once people get comfortable with each other, they no longer feel the need to try?
You know what gets me the most about that old couple holding hands? They have been holding hands their whole lives! I don't think a couple gets to be 80 and all of the sudden decides to start holding hands. No, they have always realized what the other one means to them and they hold on to them because they never want to let them go. Well, dammit, I wanna be holding hands with someone! I wanna be snuggling with someone instead of arguing with them over who cleans more, why we shouldn't keep the cats, who wastes more money, why one of us used to be an alcoholic... and so on and so forth. I want to sit on the same side of the couch instead of polar opposite and co-existing through life. I want to spoon in bed instead of facing the opposite direction and lying on the edge of the bed.
What does it mean when people lose that loving feeling? Does that mean they are no longer in love? Is it a feeling that you can get back? I'm not saying I'm perfect, far from it! I know some of the arguments are my fault too. And I know that sometimes the lack of affection can be from me being mad and withholding it. But, I refuse to believe that a relationship has to be boring and vanilla. I refuse to spend another decade of my life drifting through with a roommate. I don't know what to do to get it back or if I should just jump ship now and enjoy being free. Why can't things just be easy??
Well, sometimes that feeling leaves only to be rekindled later in life. Sometimes I believe we have to chose to love someone when things are kinda "vanilla" but always try and spice things up when we can. Feelings like that can come and go throughout a relationship. You just have to decide if the feeling can ever come back or not!!ReplyDelete
You know... I love vanilla ice cream. Love it. Because in MY bowl, vanilla ice cream can be ANYthing. Chocolate syrup - chocolate ice cream! Strawberry syrup, crumbled up bits of heath bar or butterfinger. Chop up some berries and throw them in one night, sure!ReplyDelete
Vanilla isn't the end result, it's the starting point.
So, now that you've realized it's vanilla, what are you going to throw in??
Your relationship will not magically morph itself into something you want. YOU have to reach into the fridge, grab the flavor of the day, and douse it liberally over your life. Be a woman and do what we do best - grab life by it's BALLS and bend it to your whim!
And never ever ever forget to laugh. From the belly and any time the mood strikes you. :)
I really like that way of thinking! I know that I have to put effort in as well. I guess in an unrealistic way, we just hope that good things always stay the way they are!ReplyDelete