My Current Obstetrical & Pregnancy Beef

Okay, so let me put this in order of why I think I'm at the "annoyed" point that I'm at.

My ob/gyn sometimes is super busy and will have the nurse practitioner see his patients if he's running behind, but he says he doesn't want it to be more than once EVERY OTHER time.  Okay, so I'm at the weekly visit point in my pregnancy.  Well, THREE appointments ago the nurse practitioner had to see me because the doctor was running so far behind.  At that appointment she did feel around my stomach and said she thought the baby's head was down.  Also at that appointment I was informed (by a regular nurse) that the doctor had scheduled me an ultrasound in two weeks because the baby was measuring so big that my due date might be closer than was estimated.  So a nurse explained it to me.

Then TWO appointments ago I once again saw the nurse practitioner and this was because my doctor was on vacation.  She did not check baby's positioning and it was a routine appointment.  So LAST appointment (Thursday) I had my ultrasound and then met with... the nurse practitioner.  This was because my doctor was still on vacation and was due to return Friday.  So, at the ultrasound we found out that the baby was in breech position, it was estimating my due date as NEXT WEEK (10 days earlier than before) and that the baby was measuring 9 lbs 3 oz (with a give or take of 1 lb 6 oz.)  After my ultrasound was my appointment where I ended up seeing the n.p. as I mentioned.  Well, she doesn't generally look at the ultrasound results, but I talked to her about the findings.  She mentioned that being this far along my only options for him being breech were if a version (manipulating the baby by pushing on my stomach) or a c-section.  The N.P. said that she would put my paperwork on the doctor's desk so he'd be sure to see it when he came into the office Friday.

So of course Thursday night I come home and google my fingers off.  From what I read, a version is most often not performed after 37 weeks.  So, if I'm "39 weeks" now, I don't think they will do it.  However, guess when I wasn't 39 weeks... 3 appointments ago, 2 appointments ago...  when my doctor was unavailable.  Which makes me think I'm going to have to have a c-section.  My research said that it used to be that babies were delivered breech all the time, but nowadays doctors aren't trained for it and just opt for c-sections.  So it would make sense to me that they wouldn't want me to go into labor on my own.

BUT, guess who didn't get a call from the doctor Friday- that's right, this lady.  So here I am paranoid that if I go into labor on my own I'm gonna end up with a foot dangling out of my birth canal.  Is my doctor going to wait until my next appointment (Thursday) to tell me anything?  If so, what's the news going to be?  I just feel like it's pretty $hitty that no one would think that I should be in on the loop of what will happen or what should happen.

I know I could call the doctor and harass him until I get answers, but why should that be my job?  I've never had a c-section and although friends are telling me it's not that bad, I'm still pretty scared about the thought.

Anyway, I just wanted to vent about this as I know that if I did at the doctor's office it would fall on deaf ears and just be the "hormones talking."  Ugh.

Fingers Crossed?

I feel completely torn about something.

I was asked to teach a class this summer at work and of course I said yes.  At the time, I'm pretty sure I knew that I was pregnant, but my memory is awful, so I don't remember.  Being my third, I know what it's like to juggle responsibilities and a baby.  I also know that within about a week of giving birth I was ready to take on the world!  So, unless for some reason I ended up with a c-section, I don't imagine having to take more than a week off.  My job isn't physically demanding and equates to sitting at home talking for a couple hours.

Now, here comes the ambivalence.  The closer it gets, the more I'm hoping the class gets canceled.  I don't want to leave the baby with a stranger right away (if I have to at all) and I can't rely on family to babysit.  Plus my older kids would have to go to daycare and paying for 3 kids in daycare would pretty much wipe out my entire paycheck!  So, it would make the most sense for me not to teach the class. 

But here's my one reason to teach it: I don't want to look bad to my boss.  I'm afraid if I turn it down or say I can't do it that I will come across as unreliable and it will affect his offering me more classes down the road.  I'm only an adjunct, so there is no real job security for me.  Plus, I know it would put him in a bind finding someone else to teach it.

HOWEVER, he told me that for the class to stay on the schedule there have to be 8 students enrolled.  Right now there are 2 and summer classes start May 30.  So I kinda feel like I'm secretly keeping my fingers crossed that I won't have enough students enrolled.  But then I feel like that's wrong of me.  YOU can keep your fingers crossed for me though... and if you don't tell me, I won't have to feel bad!

What would you do if you were me?

Does This Scenario Justify Homicide?

So, if you've ever been pregnant, chances are that you know what it's like to be exhausted.  Between the body aches, the fatigue, the emotional roller coaster... there aren't many of the 40 weeks that we have extra energy.  Okay, there's a few of you crazy ladies that spend the time doing the exact same activities, working out constantly and feeling great... well... poo to you.

Usually the second trimester is where you have the opportunity to start feeling a semblance of normality.  Well, I'm a week away from my third trimester and for the past 3 or 4 weeks I've actually felt up to doing the normal cleaning things that I used to do.  I get worn out a little faster and have to break more often, but I like feeling useful and not handicapped.  I've been keeping up on the dishes, doing more laundry, picking up, etc.

So, today I don't know why (especially considering the recent bouts of insomnia) but I was feeling ambitious!  No, I didn't do any grandiose tasks, just menial ones.  I made dinner, cleaned the counters, cleared off the table, put stuff away, did three loads of laundry, put clothes away... not a whole lot.  But anyway, the DH keeps telling me to stop because supposedly I was "overdoing it."  Well, fast forward two hours and I'm sitting and notice a full trash can.  I offhandedly say (more of a reminder to myself) that I need to empty a couple trash cans tomorrow.  And his response was that I needed to quit cleaning because he knows I'm going to hold it over his head.

What...
the...
H..
E...
Double...
Hockey...
Sticks??!?!?!?!

As soon as he said this I wanted to strangle him.  I finally feel good enough to contribute to the household cleaning and be a productive family member and his reaction is that he needs me to stop because somehow it affects him!  I would have understood if he said maybe he felt guilty or he really did think I was overdoing it, but by telling me I was going to hold it over his head totally diminished what I was feeling and what I had done.

So what do you think?  Does this warrant being able to murder him or maim him in some way?  Or could I be overreacting?

Disclaimer: this story is not about me... if you know me... please disregard that you know me and assume this is about a total stranger... cause it is... yeah.

Things I Miss About Not Being Fat

So here's my weight fluctuations in nut shell.  Up until around 9th grade I would say I was "large framed," but not really fat.  I didn't have a gut or anything, but I was by no means skinny.  I accepted it and was oblivious to the idea I may have been judged for my weight.  (Although in 8th grade I did have a boy in my class say something quite mean to me and awkwardly his dad brought him to my house to apologize for it because he got sent to the principal's office.  Thank God I wasn't home and my dad took the message.)

Then my metabolism kicked in and I started losing weight up until my senior year.  Of course I felt like I could always be thinner, but I didn't need to be.  And of course my parents thought I had an eating disorder (probably still do to this day) but I surely did not!  So, my psychiatrist at the time put me on Paxil, which he failed to mention makes you turn into a cow in a short amount of time.  (I still think he conspired with my parents to do this.)  Anyway, for the next 10 years I was in a state of depression that I had no willpower or ambition to get out of.  Then, I got on a good antidepressant, felt good about life again, started exercising for funsies and bam- weight started melting off!

I felt sooooo good about myself.  I had confidence, I liked wearing cute clothes and I was pretty well content with my looks.  Then I got on the Mirena... and that demon spawn device from the bowels of hell did a number on my body... I felt 8 months pregnant all the time.  And then I got it out... long story short, I AM pregnant (only 6 months, not 8) and I'm super chunk again.

But here's where the things I don't miss come in.  You really do notice how people react when you're fat versus not-fat.  Seriously.  There's certain looks that people give you that border on disgust and revulsion.  They don't want to look you in the eye, they act like you're a leech on society.  And I feel like if I ever go through a drive thru I have to wear a disguise because I know they are thinking I don't need to be there.  And going to the doctor makes me cringe.  Nurses can be so judgmental!  (not all of them, but most it seems.)  AND doctors!  And they act like you do nothing but eat chili fries with a tub of mayonnaise on them all day every day.  It is awful.  And anytime anyone is mean to you for any reason, you always ask yourself, "is it because I'm fat?"

But when you're not fat, you can walk the earth freely without dirty glares, whispers and glances.  People smile at you, they hold doors for you, they don't secretly hope you get hit by a bus because they are burdened by your existence in their non-fat world.  So hopefully after I pop this kid out I can go back to being not-fat.  After knowing what the world is like without being judged, I don't know if I can handle it if I don't lose weight.

Things I Didn't Miss About Being Pregnant

I'm definitely not throwing a pity party right now.  I know compared to many women, my pregnancies are pretty easy- I've never had morning sickness.  (That alone makes it easier than most!)

But I don't know if it's my age (being pregnant now at 30 versus being 23 and 26 with my first two) that has made me feel like this one's rougher or if I'm becoming more of a wimp, but I have realized there are quite a few things I did not miss about being pregnant!

1) The lack of sleep.  Finding a comfortable position and being able to stay asleep is next to impossible.  I'm a stomach sleeper, and that's been pretty much out of the question since around the 8th week.  I have a body pillow, but I still find it hard to sleep.  So when I do get sleep, it's only in small doses because then I'm up using the bathroom every couple hours.

2) The aches.  Mostly it's my lower back, but I went through like 2 solid weeks of crotchel region pain while my muscles were expanding or whatever and literally I could barely pick my feet up off the ground.  Then there's the leg aches, the charlie horses some nights...  and of course the impending pain of squeezing out a 10 lb kid (which is what my son weighed.)

3) The weight gain.  And ooooooh do I gain!  No matter what I eat, how much, how little, drinking water, drinking diet soda, drinking juice, no matter whether I'm eating/drinking healthy stuff or not, I pack it on.  And not just the cute volleyball stomach.  It's everywhere!  I made a joke about looking like I am smuggling a basketball and my SO said, "or six."  Not cool to say to a pregnant woman.  So, of course I can't buy maternity clothes in my pre-pregnancy size because those assume you only gain in your midsection.  Nope, I have to buy maternity in 2 sizes bigger because that's how much weight I've packed on... not to mention the swelling in my hands, legs, feet.

4) The tiredness.  I mentioned lack of sleep, but there's the physical fatigue too.  I get worn out walking up the stairs in my house.  I get worn out walking around the grocery store. 

5) The clothes.  Maternity clothes are NOT cute.  Unless you're getting basic jeans or tee shirts, you're out of luck cause most everything is hideous.  I find that I'm better off just buying normal clothes with empire waists because they are cuter and fit over my stomach. 

Well, that's probably enough for now.  I need to bathe my daughter... which is going to wear me out and leave me incapacitated for a good 20 minutes.

Decking the Halls!

I can't believe I didn't post anything all week... oh, wait, I can believe it. I ended up having to be at school ALL DAY... until I got home until like 10pm... Monday through Thursday... it was exhausting. Then, yesterday the kids had daycare and I had to run a lot of birthday related errands and then had to finish up my final draft for a 15 page paper that I want to hand in Monday. This coming Wednesday is my last day for the semester and I am SO FREAKIN' EXCITED. I'd be more excited if my last two papers were finished, but that will come.

So, today is my daughter's 4th birthday party. I have a feeling it's gonna be very underattended, but that's okay. It's the first time we've had a separate one for friends. Her real birthday is Monday and that is just for family. Four years ago today, I was in the hospital being induced. Yep, I was induced at around 9am on Dec. 5 and didn't pop that sucker out until 12:08am Dec. 7. It was quite ridiculous! I can't believe that 4 years ago today I did not have any kids and life was pretty dull. I believe at that time I was taking classes online for a criminal justice degree while I bided my time trying to decide what I wanted to do. At that time, I think I wanted to be a stay at home mom... boy how things have changed!! Now, that's the LAST thing I want! (Not knocking people that do it, just not my cup of tea.)

Well, I'm off to keep getting things ready, but just thought I'd touch base with what's going on here... I'm also really excited for Christmas! Have a nice day!

A Nose Knows

If you're already a mom, you may have experienced this. If you've never been pregnant before, I believe this is a little known fact.

When women are pregnant, they can experience quite the variety of odd things with their changing body. One of the craziest ones for me was that when I was pregnant with A, I had a heightened sense of smell. I checked the baby books, and sure enough, that was a side effect of pregnancy. Don't ask me why, and I'm not going to look it up because this isn't a science lesson.

So, after A was born, the smell thing left. But when I was pregnant with L, it came back even stronger! And the weirdest thing is that it has yet to go away and L is 15 months old. So, I am blessed/cursed with a schnoz that smells EVERYTHING. Sometimes this is good, like walking around flowers, but other times not so fun.

The story I wanted to relate with this interesting tidbit is quite uncanny and to some perhaps gross. My kids go to daycare twice a week. On a couple of occasions, I will go to pick them up and I walk into the "baby house" and am hit by the smell of MY SON'S poopy diaper. I've been in there before and it smells, but then there's the familiar smell of my own kid's present. So, I'll check the form that tells about his diaper changes and sure enough, he'll have had a poopy diaper less than half an hour earlier!

Is this bizarre to anyone else? I feel like an animal that can detect my own offspring's unique scent. Also, similarly, when he is running a temp, his pee smells different to me.

Okay, I'm sure I've just successfully managed to gross out quite a few of you, but this phenomenon interests me quite a bit and I'd be curious to know if any of you mom's have experienced this and if any of you eventual moms knew that this could happen!