I don't proofread my posts before I publish them... cause I keep my thoughts au naturale.

Thursday, April 23, 2009

Dear Starburst

Please pardon any typos as I pick the delicious nectar that are your fruit chews out of my teeth.

I don't really have a sweet tooth. I haven't since my youth, when I made the stupid mistake of thinking that if you can put sugar on cereal and it tasted good, perhaps it would taste even better to just eat sugar and milk.

Chocolate and I do not like each other. Fruit and I, however, are quite good friends.

And this is where you come in. On the rare occasion that I feel like indulging in something sweet, I turn to you, Starburst, to fill this void in my palate.

But here is my beef:

I do not like the green. I do not like the yellow. I do not like the orange. I DO like the pink. And I DO like the red. Now, jumping into my math hat, I see that this is 2/5 of your flavors. So, when I purchase a bag, I find myself wasting 3/5 of the money that I spent on your delightful, mouthwatering, tongue pleasers.

And although I appreciate your "tropical" flavor packaging for those who want something different, it's just not my cup of tea.

So I query thee, could you consider making bags that have either new flavors and ousting the old lemon,lime routine and perhaps throw in apple or banana instead? Or, if you were feeling inspired by my plight, make some bags of just red, or just pink, or even *dare I hope* RED AND PINK?

In an economy such as ours, I just can't bring myself to spend full price on a bag of candy that I will only eat 2/5 of. There is no stimulus package to cover guilty pleasures.



  1. I have actually tried to find a way to buy only pink starbursts, as that is the only flavor I find appealing. Well, except for the orange sometimes.

    They won't do it. Starburst Incorporated are a bunch of jerkwads. The best suggestion that had was to find a friend who liked the opposite flavors, and split the bags.

    This is not a helpful suggestion.

  2. Feeling threatened by an intimidating spork, I gave this post a read ;)

    I too love the red and pink! Orange is okay as well. I'd love to hear what they have to say.

  3. Don't gouge my eyes out, please!

    I actually pick out all the reds. I will eat the others if there's nothing else and I have no choice, but red is my favorite. Pink....well, not so much, but it's edible ;)

    They should do a red and pink bag for Valentine's Day, don't you think?

  4. I love the orange ones...you should create a swap with everyone and we all could send the flavors we don't like to those who do!

  5. I posted somewhere that I have a "system" for consuming Starburst.
    Yellow, Orange, Pink, Red.

    I ALWAYS eat them in that order. Even though I don't like the yellow ones, I still eat them.

    And the tropical flavors...blech.

  6. I definately second this query!!