Adventures in Babysitting

Due to a "lack of support" (if you will) and the dwindling school days left before summer and impending inability to substitute teach until the end of August, I have been scrambling to come up with an income to pay my share of my bills, pay my car payment and all the other goodies that come from being an independent single mother of two.

So, I have three talents that I believe I am best at (that are legal) and those are: acting, interacting with animals and faking my way through enjoying the company of small children (which I guess goes along with acting.)  Oh, I guess I like to think I am good at writing, but the grad advisor at Western Illinois University would probably beg to differ.

Anyway, I am constantly looking for drop-in babysitting for my kids, occasional babysitting if you will.  You know, they always say that if there's a niche out there that needs to be filled, it will be a lucrative and worthwhile venture to fill it yourself.  Well, since moving to the second largest city in Iowa (move over Los Angeles, you've been p'owned) I have been annoyed with the lack of options for childcare.  Part time is pretty much unheard of.  Transportation to and from school is even less of a possibility unless you wanna pay a thousand bucks a month, which is not in a substitute teacher's budget.  And what about those occasional times when you need to go to your psychiatric appointment or visit your favorite ob/gyn?  Neither of these are kid-friendly situations and living 100 miles from my parents/most reliable babysitters makes for a hard time for this mom.  I have occasional reliability in friends, but that is a rarity. 

So, on my quest, I have discovered that other parents have this quest as well: affordable, occasional babysitters.  Add this to my recent obsession with craigslist and VOILA! - I have a supplemental income.  I currently have 9 kids in my roladex of children I watch, with more inquiries each day and occasional interviews.  They range in ages 1-9.  (Thankfully the majority are 5 and under because the older they get, the sassier and less afraid of my dirty glares they get.)  Whether it's 3 days a week while a parent works 9 hours, a day here and there for 2-4 hours, before and after school or overnight on the weekend, you name it, I make myself available.  My biggest day was getting up at 6 am, having 5 kids by 8, 6 kids until 4, a two hour break and then two kids overnight from 6pm until 9am the next day.

And in case you are wondering, no I am absolutely not getting rich from this venture... can I get an Amen from my fellow babysitters?  Just like being a stay at home moms, in-home daycare providers, teachers and babysitters are underpaid and under-appreciated. And in case you are hoping to turn me into the state for being an "unlicensed daycare provider," suck it, cause I already checked and what I am doing does not constitute being a daycare provider... (na na na boo boo).

I'll admit, some kids annoy me far worse than others, but in general, the worst behaved out of the group is my son, so it makes the other kids much more tolerable.  And I will be honest and admit that when one of them tells me they love me, my heart melts a little... (but if you tell anyone about this, I will kill you!)  And I can never pass up a hug.  I'm working on getting over my fear of snot and boogers and wiping noses  Plus, who needs a day off?  That's what death is for, right?  And I'm pretty sure other than my own kids, I have Memorial Day free from hitting, biting, kicking and pinching over the fact that someone else had a toy first... which is when the jekkyl side of me wants to just set the freaking toy on fire...

As I'm sure you all care immensely, I will keep you posted on how long my nerves can last with this venture... and if you don't hear from me in five days, assume I have been duct taped to a chair and please alert the local authorities...

What is a friend?

You know, over the past couple days, I have heard the word "friend" used in several different contexts that have left me questioning what a friend is.  What is the difference between a friend and an acquaintance?  What makes someone a true friend and at what point can/should someone be downgraded from a friend?

Dictionary.com defines a friend as: a person attached to another by feelings of affection or personal regard.

Urban dictionary defines a friend as: A real friend is someone who:

a) it's okay to fart in front of.

b) you don't mind talking to on the bus for at least 20 minutes.

c) can borrow $5 and never has to pay it back

d) you'll actually call up do stuff.  

Interesting.  So, basically I would sum it up as a friend being someone that is giving, you have affection towards and that you can tolerate being around for lengthy amounts of time.  I like this because I can't stand selfish people and if you have ever had a selfish friend, you can feel my pain.  I have spent my whole life trying to stop being a doormat, but on the inside it infuriates me when I give and give and give and my "friends" don't give back in return.  I'm not talking about material things, I'm talking about favors, friendly gestures, shoulder to cry on, you name it.  

I used to say that it was funny that someone wanted to be my "friend" on Facebook, but when I would see them in public, they would never acknowledge me.  But, do I have affection for all of my Facebook friends?  No, not even close.  Would I give them things if they were in need?  Probably, if I was able to.  And would I spend lengthy amounts of time with them all.... eh, maybe not.

But I think that friends should not stress you out.  They should not fragrantly blow you off or make it clear that on their list of priorities you are not in the top 100.  They should not expect you to be their friend despite the fact that you ...................... (omitted because divorce shouldn't involve public mudslinging.)  

I love the friends that I do have though!  Whether it is a smile on a day that I am completely down, loaning me money when I can't afford toilet paper, watching my kids so that I can see my psychiatrist, recommending that I have a much needed night out when I am ashamed of how ugly my face is or even putting me in my place when I'm being absolutely ridiculous.

Am I expecting too much of a friend?  Do you consider many people to be friends, no matter what they give in return or how much they show you are not needed?

I have a hard time putting forth effort in a friendship when the other person does not.  I can only text so many times, stop by so many times or smile so many times before it just doesn't seem worth it anymore.  But the friends that I do have... make my life so much better... and I thank each and every one of them... 
 

MOTR Video: Easter Cake Fun

A, L and David finish decorating a homemade Easter cake and decide to eat some sprinkles too.