The Toddler from H-E- Double Hockey Sticks

My son...

*sigh*

He has been going through a loooooooooong phase- we are talking like 8 months or so long- where he cries over EVERYTHING.  You tell him no, he cries.  You tell him it's dinner time, he cries.   You ask him to put his shoes on, he cries.  Well, I've gotten to the point where the crying doesn't bother me.  First I tried putting him in time out because we all knew it was crocodile tears.  Then I tried sending him to his room until he was done crying.  I didn't get mad, I would calmly tell him to go into his room and he could come out when he was done crying.  So, of course this resulted in him coming out two seconds later because he had turned off the waterworks just as easily as he turned them on.

Figuring that it is a phase, I have just kind of accepted it and try to ignore it because I know that he is trying to get attention.

Well, instead of letting that phase die out, he has decided to escalate it- to ear piercing screams.  He intertwines these screams with his usual crying, but throws some even louder sobs in.  And of course, it's still over the same little things.  He smacks his sister in the face, he gets caught, he cries (and screams).  He gets caught jumping on the couch... you get the picture.  So, to his room he goes where he has now decided to start kicking the walls and throwing things during his tantrums.  As much as I would like to go in and knock his block off, I just ignore it.  I know he is trying to get attention out of it, but I refuse to give in.  And believe me, it is HARD.  He is a mama's boy, so when he has legitimate reasons to cry, it breaks my heart... but when he throws these crying/screaming tantrums, I just think, "what am I doing wrong?"  Where have I gone wrong in my parenting that he has decided to take this route when he's upset.  My daughter never went through this phase. 

I'm at my wits end... do I invest in earplugs or try to take him back to WalMart... any advice??

Big Boys Don't Cry?

This is me at my wit's end...

My 3 year old son cries over everything... no, really, EVERYTHING!  It is starting to make me a little crazy, and I've tried so many things to get him to not do this.  He will cry because you tell him no, he will cry because someone turns the channel on the tv, he will cry because he ran out of toilet paper.  He cries over everything.  Now, I believe it's okay to cry for certain reasons and I understand that he is a child, so I cut him a little slack.  If he gets hurt, if his favorite toy breaks, I get it, go ahead and cry, Son.  But no exaggeration, I would say he cries at least twenty times a day!

And this is a mixture of just throwing his head back and wailing and the occasional real tears.  But if you distract him, two seconds later he will be laughing and smiling.

So what's a mom to do?  (Other than get a Xanax prescription.)  I've scoured the interweb for ideas and solutions with no success.  I've tried ignoring it and going on with life as usual.  I've tried sending him to his room every time and telling him he can't come out until he's done crying.  I've tried timeout.  The one thing I haven't done is give in and give him what he's crying about.

An example:  I am cleaning the living room and he comes up and tells me he wants candy.  Now, my kids get candy maybe once a week, so the likelihood I'm just going to give him random candy is as rare as seeing an albino rhinoceros in Central Park.  So I will simply say, "no, you're not getting candy" and bam!- the crying starts.  There's occasionally throwing himself on the floor crying, hitting things, throwing things, full blown tantrums.

When will it end?  What can I do?  It's been going on for at least three months and since I am the one around him 98% of the time, I know it's not because someone else in his life is giving into him.  It embarrasses me when people come over and see him do this or when I am babysitting kids younger than him and they ask why L is crying. 

Someone attempted to tell me that it's because I didn't let him cry it out as a baby.  I really don't think that's the case.  I didn't let my daughter cry it out and her only issue is a bad attitude.

I'm at a loss.  This is one conundrum that has me pulling my hair out and banging my head on the wall.  I am willing to try anything at this point short of shock therapy.  Help!

How to Kill a Pacifier and Get Away With It

Okay, so my son is 3 and still has a pacifier *insert judgement here*.  I have tried sticker charts, begging, pleading to get him to give up his pacifier.  He also has blankies.  I'm okay with the blankies, but not the pacifier.  And sure, I could take it from him and watch him cry,  but I'm a pushover mom about some things and I think deep down I wish I could still use a pacifier for self-soothing.

So, today I am trying Plan L.  L is for Leprechaun.  I took all the pacifiers and hid them away in a high cabinet and told my son that a leprechaun snuck into the house and stole all his pacifiers.  Reason being is that leprechauns don't like seeing big kids with pacifiers so they steal them.  Will it work?  Hopefully.  He hasn't asked about it since, but when he starts crying and sobbingly says, "PASSY" I am hoping I have the willpower to stick to my guns.

Next step is getting his dad and grandparents on board.  I think his dad will go along with it, but the grandparents are bigger pushovers than I am.

Did anyone else have a similar problem with their toddlers or teenagers, lol?  I will keep you updated on if I am successful or not.

A New Day!

I'm so excited about how L is progressing. He's almost 18 months and is clearly phasing from a baby to a toddler. In the last month I can't believe the transitions he has made! He says like over 50 words and repeats many new ones each day. Plus, he is getting that little kid girth where you feel like you're picking up a child and not a baby.

So, two recent happenings have made me even more thrilled about his progress. About two weeks ago he began actually sitting and watching cartoons! He will sit on the little couch and watch cartoons with A or even when A is not around, he will sit there. He will clap when the show says clap, he will repeat when they tell him to repeat a word and it's like he actually comprehends what is going on. Then, it was adorable the other day because he was watching Diego and I looked over and he had went and got A's Diego doll and was holding it- adorable!

Then, the new thing that happened today was even more spectacular! I have always said that I am jealous of those people whose kids will just go to sleep anywhere at the drop of the hat. My kids fight sleep like it's a poltergeist out to get them! They just do not seem willing to go to sleep. I try to explain to them how they should embrace these days of getting good amounts of sleep, but they don't get it.

So, anyway... I had put A down for her nap and was doing a couple things while L watched cartoons. I went to check on A and when I returned, L had fallen asleep on his little couch! I was floored! I didn't have to rock him to get him to take his nap! I laid him on a blanket on the floor and he's been there for about 45 minutes sound asleep.

Is this a new day for me and mine? Are easier days a'comin? If so, I will totally embrace them with open arms! It would be great if by the time grad school starts in the fall, L is oodles easier, because that will just make life easier in general.

Hooray!

Kids & Computers

I may be in the minority, but I don't really like the idea of small children using computers.

I was recently offered the opportunity to review a new website geared towards toddlers. It reminded me of this issue. Aren't we supposed to try to avoid having our kids glued to the television? Wouldn't it be about the same if they were glued to the computer?

I believe in these things called books. They have a two covers and pages in between. They help kids learn to read, they have bright, vibrant pictures. They create a quality bonding experience between the parent reading them and the child listening. Now, I'm no saint, my kids watch TV, but mostly use it for background noise while they're playing.

It just seems to me that there's no need for another electronic device in a small child's life. Sure, computers are great when they're older and I want my kids to know how to type, etc, but as a toddler? No thank you. The last thing I need is my daughter asking me every 5 minutes if she can use the computer.

And I know that there is good material out there that promotes learning, I guess I'm just old fashioned and believe that I should be teaching them and that it should be interactive. Handheld toys, books, things you can touch and manipulate: I'll take those over a computer anyday! (for my kids, that is)

Am I just old fashioned? What do you guys think? Do any moms let their toddlers use the computer?