This year on my birthday...

So, it's another year, another birthday...

Since I have been an adult living on my own (like 12 years now)... I'm pretty sure I have cried on every single birthday.  It's not about getting old, it's just the realization that each year that goes by I am not where I want to be in life.  I don't like to think that it is my fault that this is true, but I have no one else to blame because I make all my choices in life, no one makes them for me.

I don't think I cried last year... but I can't remember- that was a whole year ago.

And I don't think it can all be chalked up to being bipolar either.  I just think that I overthink and so when I think about the things that I think about on my birthday, it really makes me think... and so I cry.

Anyway, I am writing this the Friday before because I probably won't feel like blogging on the day of.   But this year, although I am thankful for a great great great many things in my life, there are still some things that I had hoped would be different by now.

See you next year and I will update you on 2013's success or not.



On a more positive note!!  Happy birthday to my mother... she was given the greatest gift the day I was born... yep, painful labor and a 10 lb baby.  What more could a mother ask for?

And despite the years of extreme torture I put her through and our quite different views on thing, I would have to say that my mom is my best friend.  Whenever something happens good or bad, my first thought is that I have to tell my mom.  Even when I know that she has no interest in the subject (like when I called her Friday night to tell her about the new Twilight movie) she pretends to care, and that's mostly what I need.  Like I said, we have polar opposite views on many many things, but she has been an excellent role model for me in life and I aspire to be as respected as she is.  I have the greatest respect for my mom and thinks that she has done so much good with her life.  I can't thank her enough for all the wonderful things she has done for my family and I...

Happy birthday, Mom!!!

Superstitions (Happy Drunky Drunk Day!)

I got to thinking this morning whilst twittering about things that people are superstitious about.

For instance, I don't like odd numbers and tend to think only bad things will happen on odd numbered years. So, tomorrow being the first day of 2009 does not sound great to me.

I'm not necessarily a superstitious person- I've had more black cats than I can count! I've walked under ladders, rocked chairs when no one was in them. But, I like to make wishes at 1:11, 2:22, etc. And if I don't get it in before the minute changes, that's bad news bears! I don't like the color red, I bless the roadkill... I'm sure I could think of more.

Ringing in the new year brings up many thoughts for many people. It's a time for resolutions, new beginnings, new problems, new solutions. My resolution for this year is to be less judgmental. My hope for this year also is for L to be less stressful to me. He turns one on Jan. 2 and has been not even remotely as easy as his sister. He still has sleep issues, is still clingy and quite the whiner! I love him to pieces, but am hoping that being one will change some of his baby problems. I'm sure it's wishful thinking, but there's nothing wrong with wishing!

Well, Happy New Year to all my readers (the whole 5 people who may see this, lol) and maybe in 2009 I will pick up a third follower! *fingers crossed*