Is This a Girl Thing?

I like to think I'm not like all the other girls... of course that would be a little presumptuous of me.  I don't consider myself to be clingy, I'm not all about romance (although a little romance here and there is okay.)  So today, on one of my mind wandering trips, I was thinking about how men and women meet, date and either decide to be together forever or move on to the next poor sap.  The question always arises after an exchange of phone numbers about how many days the guy (or gal) should wait to call so as not to seem desperate.  Well, with texting and FB chat, that kind of makes a large gray area.

But, onto my point... For some reason, I like to know that I'm a hot commodity.  I've always had pretty good luck at getting the guy I've set my sights on.  But, is it a guy that I actually want?  I like attention, but only when I want it.  But I think it might be overkill of me to think that a guy should think about me at least once a day.  Therefore, I expect a text once a day saying, "hey!  I'm alive, are you?"  That's all... is that too much to ask?  Even if I don't wanna spend time with him or he doesn't want to spend time with me, I'd like to at least know that he remembers I exist.

Then what about those guys who send you 100 texts a day?  Should that make you worried?  Is there something to the idea of a chase?  Do chicks tend to fall harder for a guy who shows them tons of attention over a guy they like more, but doesn't show them enough?  Guys like a chase, right?  Do girls?  I recall liking guys here and there who didn't give me anything to chase, so therefore I wasn't interested.  But then when they stopped doting, I became interested again.  Then there was the one who I thought was interested, but then he would go days without letting me know that he was alive or checking to see if I was and although it was hard for me to throw in the towel, my pride made me. I know the Earth doesn't revolve around me, the tides don't come in because I'm happy, the sun doesn't rise and set by my moods... but don't we all want to feel a little special deep down?

I guess my point to all these ramblings comes back to these questions:  Is it really about the chase or do we decide to go with the one that shows us the most attention?  Is is possible to form a deep love with someone who can go days without speaking to you?  Do we just settle for what we can get because we can never get what we want?

My mind wonders...

One of Those Unwritten Rules

You know how sometimes in etiquette there are unwritten rules about things you just shouldn't say or do?

For instance, you should never ask a lady when she'd due unless you know for a fact that she is actually pregnant. Wait for her to mention it or wait until someone else has told you (that is reputable for telling the truth) that the lady is indeed pregnant. Otherwise, you might be placed in the awkward position of finding out that they are not even pregnant or that they have given birth- six months ago!

Well, I have thought of another one that I think is quite important! As a friend, when your good buddy breaks up with their partner, your immediate reaction is often to talk about what a bum said ex was. For example, if my friend Crystal and her husband split, I might think that it would make her feel better if I told her how much better off she was without him or how much of a bum he was. (Whether I felt that way or not.) We do this because we want our friends to realize that life will go on and that they are a good person and can do better.

BUT, I have never done this and would never do this because it is my experience that over half the time, the people end up getting back together! Then, not only does your friend now feel awkward that you dogged on their man like that, but if she tells him what you said, he will always question your sincerity when you are being friendly.

This works on both sides, too, not just if it's a girl or a guy. As a girl, if I were to find out that when my fella and I split, his best friend was instantly trying to find him tail, then we got back together, I would have lost quite a bit of respect for said friend.

I know, I know, the men reading this (if there are any) would say he had every right to do it, but... I'm not going down that road!

So, this is my warning to all of you that don't follow this unwritten rule of etiquette. Give the relationship a little cooling off time before you jump in on the mudslinging bandwagon. Even if your friend is bashing their ex themselves, it is better not to put in your two cents on the ex until it is pretty obvious there is no hope of the relationship surviving.