I'm sorry, Cows!

One month when I was 18, I was a vegetarian.  I love animals and don't think that that should just include the fuzzy domesticated kind.

How cute are they??

Cows are adorable.  I lived next to a farm growing up and the cows would come up to the fence along the outside of our property.  I would feed them grass, attempt to pet them, heck, sometimes I would talk to them.  It broke my heart seeing them out in the freezing rain and cold.  I've often thought that if I ever get back to living in the country, I'd like to have a pet cow.

I want to be a vegetarian... couldn't do the vegan thing because I love cheese too much and I don't think I'd be able to remember everything that I'm supposed to avoid. 

I've seen the pictures and heard stories of how poorly farm animals are treated and how they are tortured right before slaughter.  Some of them that are sick or dying are left to die in fields and ditches.  I even watched a show once about a woman who had a farm that people would rescue sick or dying animals and bring them to her and she would try to get them better.  Occasionally she would get a call about a cow that was left to die and she would organize a covert mission in the middle of the night to rescue the cow.  Sometimes all it took was antibiotics to nurse that cow back to life.

How delicious does this look??

I can avoid pork, chicken, fish, etc.  Those aren't foods that mean much to me.  But I can't shake the beef cravings.  I go through withdrawal.  I have low iron and don't care for the supplements and I think that is part of my need for beef.  One of my favorite foods is cheeseburgers.  I love eating meat for breakfast, lunch and dinner.  I can't help it, I'm weak!!

So I wrestle with my moral dilemma.  I don't want to contribute to the cows suffering, but I don't think I could have a happy existence depriving myself of beef.  My conscience has no rest.