I don't proofread my posts before I publish them... cause I keep my thoughts au naturale.

Sunday, March 18, 2012

Favoritism Torks Me Off!!

Of course favoritism is everywhere- jobs, friends, family, etc.

But what especially torks me off is favoritism amongst parents and their children.  Here's why:

I'm one of four kids.  As far back as I can remember, my parents did the exact same thing for birthday and Christmas.  They had a set amount of money they spent on each of us.  For our birthday we were either given X dollars in cash or in the form of gifts.  Likewise for Christmas was the same deal.  All four of us got the exact same amount.  That way none of us felt like someone else got a better deal or we got the shaft.  It's the same now.  We get a check for our birthdays and a check for Christmas.  If you're married you get X and if you're single you get Y (and if you're just in a relationship, you still get the single rate.)  I like this idea and I use it with my own kids.  Somehow my mom even worked it out so that we all opened the exact same amount of presents too.  I don't recall feeling as though anyone was given special treatment over any others while we were all living at home.  Of course, I felt like they each had a favorite child, but that was an emotional thing, not a concrete thing.  I'm sure my siblings don't feel the same way as I do, but they don't realize that they chose to live far away and so of course in regards to "quality time" they don't get as much, nor do their children.  But that's their own cross to bear.

BUT, I've come across families where the favoritism is so blatantly obvious it hurts my stone cold heart to witness.  Why anyone makes their other children sit through anything ceremonious when they make no attempt to quantitatively make them even, I will never understand.  Case in point:  one year for his birthday my ex brother-in-law wanted a Playstation 2.  At the time they were around $300.  He got it.  The following year, my ex-husband asked them for one for his birthday.  It was over $100 less, but they did not want to buy it because it was "too expensive."  Hmm, so why was it not a big deal the year before?  And my ex was given a hand-me-down car and his brother got to pick a car that they bought for him. 

Anywho... I have other current examples (those were quite old) but I can't post them cause... you know... people get mad.  But I don't understand how parents can see what they're doing and how wrong it is!  And sometimes it's not just parents.  I've seen so much of this in the past few years that it just boggles my mind.  Do people not think about these things or do they just not care?  Why is one child sooooo much more special than another that you can't hide your giddiness in talking to the favorite and act like you wouldn't pee on the "lesser" child if they were on fire.

Frankly, I'm disgusted.

And frankly, I'm happy that's one thing I don't have to talk to my therapist about in regards to my upbringing.

If you're going to favor a child, here's a thought: don't rub it in the other kids' faces... $#@!#$!%#


  1. I totally agree! Favoritism is soooo not cool, and harms a child so much and I think that they don't realize how much I think something like that sticks with the child. Or grandchild :) And that is a bummer. My inlaws kind of favor my kids just because they are better behaved I think, but I feel bad for some of the other grandkids and while I am there I try to buffer them so I am nice to the other grandkids and maybe they don't notice.

  2. It is hard not to favor kids that are easier to deal with, that's for sure! But like you said, people don't realize the emotional harm it leaves with kids- sometimes for life! And to continue doing it when the children become adults AND flaunt it... shameful!

    Thanks for reading!!