Karma for Kids

Of course no one ever wishes for anything tragic to befall their children- that would just be psychotic!

However, I am sure we all get tired of our kids arguing, not following directions, our showing signs that they may be the spawn of Satan.  So, come on- admit that secretly when a small amount of (non harmful) karma comes their way, you want to cheer a little inside.

Case in point:  when a child is leaning back in their chair and you ask them not to and they end up falling backwards- that's a bit of karma.  But the case I wanted to share today involves my 8 year old daughter.  As you should all understand, she knows EVERYTHING- at least that's what she thinks.  She is in a phase where she feels the need to argue or dispute anything David or I say.  I am sure it will get worse as she gets older, but in the meantime...  Her dad and his girlfriend have a 5 month old daughter, which would be A's half sister.  They have let her and L carry the baby around since she was first born.  They hold her when they want, apparently they let A get her out of her crib, etc.  Now me, I am a very overprotective parent.  If it were up to me, my parents and I would be the only ones to hold the baby (he's 6 weeks now).   I know that David wouldn't hurt him, but I feel like he's too nervous about something wrong happening and the baby senses fear or stress.  As soon as I hear fussing, I want to hold him. 

I have forced myself to let A hold him from time to time, but she will get up and walk with him or pat his back when he's sleeping or picking him up when he's comfy and being calm.  These are not things that I'm okay with, but her rebuttal is always, "he's my brother, why can't I hold him?"  Every time.  She assumes that because she can hold her sister at her dad's house anytime that it should be the same way with her brother.  I think not.

Now we get to the karma.  According to my kids, their baby sister spits up quite a bit and A says she doesn't really hold her anymore because she "doesn't want to get barfed on."  I haven't really had that problem with my baby unless he gets moved around too much shortly after eating.  Well, this morning I had him lying calmly on the couch (unable to fall) and I came in and she was holding him.  I told her she needed to ask to hold him and she of course said... "why can't I hold him, he's my brother."  So I went about my business.  About 3 minutes later I see her put him back down and go into the bathroom.  I followed her to see what happened and he had puked down her shirt and onto her pants...

KARMA!!  Now hopefully she won't want to hold him as much because she got puked on.  It's a small step for me as a mom, because I know she will never stop arguing... but I takes what I can gets!

"Dibs"

My kids are always surprising me with the things they say... hence, "kids say the darndest things."  Whether it is using a big word correctly or using a slang word that they picked up in school, I am often taken aback by the vocabulary they have- I'm referring to the 8 and 6 year old. 

Well, a couple weeks ago I cause them calling H "Dibs."  They had called him pet names before, but "Dibs" was a new one.  I asked them why they call him "Dibs" and my 8 year old informed me that he throws fits and always gets what he wants, so he has dibs.  They were applying that to how he acts with them, not myself or my husband.  They realize that giving him a toy, letting him watch Yo Gabba Gabba or sharing their food is easier than listening to his tantrums or getting a toy thrown at them.

I was pretty impressed by how astute they were about this.  Now, I'm assuming the 8 year old taught it to the 6 year old, but either way, I found it to be quite cute and clever and I wouldn't mind if they continued to call him this the rest of his life... then when he's 30 he will remember what a pain in the tush he was to his siblings and seeing as how he will be rich and famous, he will make it up to them by buying them each a house.

Or not.

Don't delude yourself- it's the terrible one's, two's and three's!

H at 17 months.

Everyone has heard the phrase, "the terrible two's."  This is that mythical time in a toddler's life where they are supposedly at their worse behavior-wise.  The theory behind this is that they are unable to make their wants known verbally and it frustrates them, so the only way they respond is by being naughty, throwing tantrums and bringing their parents to the brink of insanity.

Well the terrible two's is a nice idea.  How great would it be if it magically started at 2 and ended by 3.  But it doesn't.  It starts around one and carries over until three.  I first learned this with my first son, L, when he started having fits and driving me crazy after he started walking.  I remember his favorite thing to do was pull things off the shelf and just walk away.  You couldn't leave the room without him getting upset and car rides were misery incarnate.  I told myself, "oh, his terrible two's started early."  Nope... it kept going, through two and the first part of three, when he started being able to communicate verbally.  He could entertain himself (or expected his older sister to entertain him) and I was able to function without him latched to my side.

Now we're at H's "early terrible two's."  Although a sweet child (L was too), there are times when I just want to run out into the street screaming until someone admits me to the psyche ward, just so I can have a break.  This is my husband's first child, so when he suggested that H's "terrible two's were coming early," I just laughed and laughed... poor naive fella.  H is 17 months old now and has been in this stage for several months.  It's that stage where you tell them no and they either laugh or cry.  You step one foot out of the room and they are immediately trying to grab your phone, drink, tv remote, plugs in the wall... they are sneaky.  It's the age of finding the package of wipes and pulling them all out and throwing them on the floor.  I can't leave the room without a fit being thrown, can't shut the bathroom door all the way or I have to listen to him ram into the door with his back.  While I shower, he opens the curtain and throws random things in.

But the most frustrating thing is the resistance to sleep.  Why do toddlers thing "nap" is a four letter word?  Naps are great!  We all know the holy terror that is a child who needs to go to sleep.  I call this being irrational.  H is on a routine where every morning around 9:30 am he starts being "irrational."  He cries over everything, gets frustrated and becomes inconsolable.  This is when I know he needs a quick break.  I make him a bottle and he lays in his bed, then comes running out in a better mood.  Then between 11-12, he becomes irrational again and IN THEORY this is when his nap should happen.  I give him another bottle and he lays in bed.  If the Gods are smiling upon me, he naps and it is usually for 2 hours.  But if I'm covered with clouds for the day, he refuses and no amount of bottles is going to change that.  Then he will hold out until like 3pm until he finally passes out after hours of being a demon spawn.

That about wraps up my point.  I have a sweet, loveable boy who is just adorable, but I'm becoming a pro at this mom thing and I don't want any new mommies deluding themselves into thinking the terrible two's only lasts a year.  I suggest you get through this three year phase by medicating yourself, getting a full-time job and leaving the kid with a sitter or else you could pray for patience and hope that it sticks.