Happy Father's Day to the Non-Biological Fathers!

You know, they say that blood is thicker than water.  But, I'd like to add that love is sometimes thicker than blood.  In these days of "broken" families, step parents, foster parents, absent parents, etc., the meaning of "father" has changed.  I believe that the meaning should include any man who loves a child like their own, respects them, cares for them and does right by them.  I think the words "deadbeat dad" are getting all too common in society today.  Why are those dads to be honored because they made babies, but the men who are raising their children are not technically fathers?

Today I am reminded of several types of fathers.  I have a friend that is a father, but not allowed to see his children for father's day because his ex is mad at him.  Yet he's a father, why does he not deserve to be honored.  My boyfriend David has no biological children, yet for the past 5 months, he has provided for my children in ways their own father has not.  He loves my children as if they were his own and I believe that the more love a child gets, the better they can be as adults.  David sacrificed living on an income only having to support one to trying to support FOUR.  He is constantly wanting to do better.  He nurtures them and cares for them and in return they love and adore him.  Is he their father?  Not biologically.  Is he a father? YES.

So on this day I think we should honor FATHERS.  Men who do right by their children and men who do right by the children in their lives.  It is easy to become a father, but it is much harder to BE a father- and those that are willing to try are to be commended!

And I'd also like to honor my own father.  He was the kind of dad that changed diapers, bathed us, tucked us in at night, prepared dinner every night AFTER working all day.  When I had my tonsils out, my dad was there.  When I broke my first bone, my dad was there.  When I got my first stitches my dad was there.  When I was giving birth to my first child, both my parents were there, but it was my dad who paced with worry hearing me screaming down the hall.  He has been a phenomenal grandparent to my children and it is clear that he adores them.  Although we have views that are about as opposite as they may come, I think my dad raised me to take pride in what I do, work hard and become someone that others can admire.  He has also shown me that you can accomplish any goal at any age.  And then there's all the money he's loaned me that I have and haven't paid back.  Thank you, dad!  I love you.

I'm Such a Fool!

I'm so mad at myself!

I have been having so many problems with my ex and he has been doing nothing but try to make my life hell.  I have been trying to take the high road through this whole thing and it gets me nowhere but lying in the fetal position bawling my eyes out!!!

When I moved to the town I live in now I had been dating my boyfriend for 3.5 months.  I dealt with phone calls from my ex when I first moved where I got screamed at and cussed out for hours at a time.  I received texts telling me to "get my boyfriend's dick outta my mouth and answer the g**damn phone."  I put up with so much and after several months of dating when I decided it was okay for my boyfriend to meet my kids, my ex FLIPPED!  He was irate and made things even more hellacious for me.

Well, through all the times I've tried to be the better person and despite him treating me so badly and trying to screw me over at every turn while giving me NOTHING for child support, I still let him convince me that we were going to get along and be good for the kids.

So, get this:  he hasn't seen  the kids for 6 weeks because he "didn't have gas money."  And he finally gets them back yesterday because I felt bad that it was father's day weekend.  He told me he'd keep the kids on their normal schedule which involves them going to bed at 8pm.  I asked him to have them call me every night at bedtime so I could talk to them.  Last night it was 8:45p and he said he'd get them on the schedule today.  So, tonight they called me at 9:15p.  They were outside catching fireflies at his girlfriend's house where they were spending the night.  He hasn't seen his kids for 6 weeks and has been seeing her for like a month and decided the second night he had them back they should spend the night at her house.  UGH! 

I'm so tired of letting my guard down and trusting him only to have him F me over!  And I've asked him to get my permission to take them out of state.  She lives in another state and he didn't ask me or give me a heads up.

I know this makes me sound bitter, but when you've been treated the way I have only to have him be hypocritical, it is rough.

Like someone told me today, though, "the cream rises to the top."

I'm gonna try to breathe through it... one day at a time.

Literary Thursday: "Happy the Man" by John Dryden

Happy the man, and happy he alone, He who can call today his own: He who, secure within, can say, Tomorrow do thy worst, for I have lived today. Be fair or foul or rain or shine The joys I have possessed, in spite of fate, are mine. Not Heaven itself upon the past has power, But what has been, has been, and I have had my hour.