This year on my birthday...

So, it's another year, another birthday...

Since I have been an adult living on my own (like 12 years now)... I'm pretty sure I have cried on every single birthday.  It's not about getting old, it's just the realization that each year that goes by I am not where I want to be in life.  I don't like to think that it is my fault that this is true, but I have no one else to blame because I make all my choices in life, no one makes them for me.

I don't think I cried last year... but I can't remember- that was a whole year ago.

And I don't think it can all be chalked up to being bipolar either.  I just think that I overthink and so when I think about the things that I think about on my birthday, it really makes me think... and so I cry.

Anyway, I am writing this the Friday before because I probably won't feel like blogging on the day of.   But this year, although I am thankful for a great great great many things in my life, there are still some things that I had hoped would be different by now.

See you next year and I will update you on 2013's success or not.



On a more positive note!!  Happy birthday to my mother... she was given the greatest gift the day I was born... yep, painful labor and a 10 lb baby.  What more could a mother ask for?

And despite the years of extreme torture I put her through and our quite different views on thing, I would have to say that my mom is my best friend.  Whenever something happens good or bad, my first thought is that I have to tell my mom.  Even when I know that she has no interest in the subject (like when I called her Friday night to tell her about the new Twilight movie) she pretends to care, and that's mostly what I need.  Like I said, we have polar opposite views on many many things, but she has been an excellent role model for me in life and I aspire to be as respected as she is.  I have the greatest respect for my mom and thinks that she has done so much good with her life.  I can't thank her enough for all the wonderful things she has done for my family and I...

Happy birthday, Mom!!!