I don't proofread my posts before I publish them... cause I keep my thoughts au naturale.

Friday, April 3, 2009

My Husband is a PUNK!!!

So, picture me euphoric.

I was having a great day! I only got a few hours of sleep, but that didn't phase me. I got up with the kids, they danced a bit while I checked my email and listened to itunes, I implemented a new sticker chart regime with my daughter, then it was off to daycare for the tots.

Next stop was taking my final for social psychology. I chatted with my proctor for a bit, then was done and on my way to the grocery store. It's a beautiful day out today (finally!) The sun is shining, the wind was for once not atrocious and it was decently warm (60.)

I went to the grocery store and was beyond stoked that I managed to buy a 20 lb. bag of dog food, a can of wet dog food, two bottles of juice, bread and bananas for $8.67 that I happened to have in cash! (Thank you coupons and rebate checks!) Then, I got something exciting in the snail mail, checked my email, had a bunch of new followers and postings for my blog and then noticed how many wonderful people were recommending me for followfriday on Twitter.

My day was going great, plus there was the added knowledge that I had NO MORE responsibilities for the day! It was just time to relax and enjoy the fresh air. I was in SUCH A GOOD MOOD!

So, I get home, tell my husband about my wonderful mood and ask him to try not to mess it up. We decide to go to lunch (which kinda voids my great savings at the store), have a nice meal and then on the way home, he drops the mean bomb and ruins my day!

I start to tell him about someone that I am finding increasingly annoying and he cuts me off to tell me that I'm being judgmental and that it's really annoying because it seems like all I ever want to do is judge people and gossip. He said that no one is going to want to be my friend and I'm ruining my personality by being this way.

Well, that hurt. Normally I am an emotionless pit, but I almost considered tearing up on this. What a mean thing to say! I like myself and I was NOT judging that person that was annoying me! I can't get into it in case they read this, but they are becoming increasingly needy and I don't like it. I was NOT judging them the way he said I was.

Plus, I know that I tend to gossip and complain, but he's my husband, aren't I allowed to do that with him? And I never let my "judgments" change the way I treat people. I'm nice to everyone whether they deserve it or not! (Unless I'm being sarcastic, but that's just good fun.)

So, what do you think? Did I over react? We got home and I told him how much he hurt my feelings and that I wanted to be alone the rest of the day until I pick the kids up from daycare. I'd like opinions on this. But, I don't like having my feelings hurt and most of the time I shrug it off, but coming from him, it felt a little more painful.

P.S. The picture is my actual husband, lol.

P.P.S. I also wanted to point out that to add to what could have been a great day, the UPS man came (HOORAY) and I picked up a snake in my yard (FUN!)


  1. Ugh...men. Women sometimes need to vent. Get all of our feelings, etc. out about a problem, issue, emotion, whatever. We just need to get it out and we feel better. We are not looking for an answer, a solution, for you to solve any problem. Simply listen.

    Problem = Men generally suck at listening (yes, generality but generally true.) So in place of listening they want to find a solution, tell you they don't have time to help you find a solution or complain they don't want to listen to you nag/complain/etc.

    Men (again a generality but generally true) are also not very empathetic. They say things without thinking because their guy friends do the same to them - no big deal. My husband did this twice in 1 day this week after a very, very bad week and I did start crying (and I too am pretty tough - not an overly sensitive chick!) And he STILL didn't get it until I pointed it out to him when he asked me why I was upset hours later. In the words of Homer - DOH!

    I have semi-"trained" my husband to understand that I do not want his help unless I specifically say those words - just listen to me. But after 13 years of dating, living together and marriage, have learned to do most of my venting with my girlfriends. This saves my dirty looks at him for bigger issues :)

    Men = poo. My 2cents :)


  2. Oh my gosh, Celeste, you totally hit the nail on the head!

    I was just reading the other day about part of the reason why men and women are so unsuccessful at marriage is they are designed differently in how they communicate. Men always feel that they have to give advice, and therefore don't make great listeners.

    Thank you for reminding me of that point. I am still going to use the silent treatment for a bit because he annoyed me (which he knows, so it's not like I'm being unreasonable.)

    I do with they would understand that as women, we need to vent and sometimes blogging about it will get us into serious trouble when the person we are ranting about reads our blog, lol.

    Thanks so much for reminding me why women are superior, lol.

  3. As usual, he did the man thing, instead of listening to you he tried to give you a solution. His solution was insenstive and ironically very judgemental. I don't think you over reacted. I think he really thought he was helping though, men are just dim.

  4. Sounds like the other ladies here know what they're talking about. My husband does this sometimes too, but I never seem to learn to take it (like a man) when he does.

    I probably would've made some comment back about who's judging who now? LOL Anyway, the silent treatment probably works better and will make your point, and who knows, maybe a man will learn from his mistake ;-)

  5. Last year in my quiet time, it was revealed that I have a strong judgemental and self-righteous attitude. When I went to my husband and talked about it - he confirmed it.
    I was crushed - oouldn't he have lied and said to me that I was perfect, and that I was right all those times I made judgements on others?!
    But that would not have lead me to call some of the women around me that I truly admire to keep me accountable.
    It's never fun seeing yucky stuff about oneself in the mirror, but that's what marriage is about, learning to relate to another human being in a very intimate level. Revealing and having the rough edges smoothed over is never easy, but worth it.
    Did it ruin your day? Sure. But will his statement make you more conscious of how you think & treat others, calling you to greater honesty with yourself and others. Which will ultimately lead you to real & more deepened relationships.
    Don't give him the silent treatment. The rest of the day, week, month, etc your marriage is not worth it. Give him a hug and tell him that at least "he's honest."

  6. I echo the last comment from Anonymous! I think he is out for your best interest.